Shadow of my Fear
by lissam2
Summary: Sinister shadows crept along the corridor seeking out who feared them the most, the one trapped and forgotten by those he loved most. Story being continued by Mystikstorm and Sam1.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** Neither of us own the Thunderbirds or the Tracys. We're just borrowing them for our own enjoyment and hopefully yours as well.

**A/N:** lissysue and I have to dedicate this rather dark story to Matt as he suggested it and well, we sometimes like to humor him. Love ya, Mattie. We also need to give a huge thank you to J for reading over the story for us. And thanks to Kier, Aidy, Will, J, and Matt for their ongoing support and encouragement. Love you, guys. –lissysue85 and sam1

* * *

**Shadow of my Fear**

He had been banished to the darkest and coldest place known to man. A tin-can nestled in the heavens and far from home. Punished for something he was unsure of.

He longed for the light of the sun on his face and the feel of the sand beneath his toes as the warm waters of his tropical home lapped over his feet. The warm breeze fragrant with the briny scent of the ocean and the various flowers that were native to Tracy Island.

The hums and bleeps from the computers began to get louder. It was as if they were taunting him. Reminding him that he was stuck up here with no way back to where he wished to be. Shadows appeared all around him edging ever closer. Even the walls seemed to be closing in on him. He wanted to scream but knew that not a soul could hear him. He wanted to run but knew there was nowhere he could run to. Unable to run, he dropped into a crouch, huddling against the wall, shivering as the cold seeped through his uniform. But still the shadows crept closer.

He wrapped his arms around himself, rocking back and forth. "I'm good...I'm good...no bad things will get me." His singsong words showed just how far his isolation had pushed him. No rational thought existed in him anymore as the first shadow reached out for his ankle. A heart wrenching scream echoed around the solitary station. The icy tendrils of the shadow snaked up his leg just as a second shadow grasped his other ankle. Screams of terror ripped from his soul as a third and forth shadow took hold of his arms. The icy coldness of the shadows burning through the sleeves of his uniform as he fought desperately to escape the icy hold but it was too strong. Too strong and too determined to suffocate his entire being in its darkness.

He knew now that his destiny ended here. Never would he walk along the beaches of his home, feel the sunlight on his face, the waves lapping at his feet. Never again would he hear the sounds of his family laughing around him nor feel his father's loving arms wrapped around him. Never again would he bask in the love that they had showed him. The quiet security that Virgil offered. The over-protectiveness of Scott. The fun and laughter of Gordon. And the surprising warmth of Alan.

Instead he was going to die here alone with nobody to mourn him. His life meaningless and his death even more so. He wasn't going to die a hero saving the lives of others. He would die a coward. Killed by the shadows of his fears.

The shadow had now reached his chest and was slowly freezing his heart. His breathing labored as the shadow tightened its hold on his lungs, allowing only short panicked breaths to escape and nothing drawn in. The will to live fading with each one.

Fighting one last time, he struggled to see his beloved 'bird. "I'm sorry." His words barely audible as he ceased to exist. The shadow had won its fight.

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**A/N: **How much do you all hate us right now? The second part of this story will be up later, well unless you guys find us and kill us before we can. I should mention though that I don't actually live in America so you might have trouble finding me. Sam does though so she will be easier to find, hee hee. Love Lissysue.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer:** Nothing has changed since our earlier post. Darn our luck.

**Chapter 2**

Jeff pushed Thunderbird 3 as fast as she would go, desperate to reach his son's side. He had missed his check in and when they had tried to hail him there was nothing. He couldn't fight down the fear that something had happened to his second born son.

Alan sat beside him, wracked with the same thoughts as his father. He tried to remember the last time he had spoken to John and what they had talked about. He glanced over at his father and could see the fear in those steel grey eyes. He wished there was something he could do to ease his father's pain but only the sight of John alive and well would do that. Working in tandem, they docked Thunderbird Three with Thunderbird Five. All the while, Brains continued to hail Thunderbird Five to no avail.

The first thing Alan noticed as he boarded Thunderbird Five was the silence that coursed around them. He could hear the usual whirring of the machinery but that was it. There was none of the usual noise he heard when his brother was up here. The tapping of his fingers on the keyboard, the faint singing or humming as he moved around the station, it was all missing. They headed straight to the main command centre to find it deserted. The only sign that someone had been in there was a coffee cup beside the computer. Alan touched the edge of it, only to find it was stone cold. Brains moved over to the main control panel and began running a diagnostic to check that there was no technical problems. A sudden beeping from the console startled all three men. Rapidly tapping the keyboard, Brains answered Scott's call.

"Base to Thunderbird Five, come in. Base to Thunderbird Five, I repeat come in."

"Th-Th-Five to B-Base, we're r-re-reading you."

"What the hell is going on up there? Where is John?"

Jeff positioned himself next to Brains and answered his oldest son. "Scott, you know that we only docked a few minutes ago. We'll get back to you in a short while, understand?"

Worried, Scott nodded as communications were cut. Jeff looked around the command centre and had just realized that Alan was missing. "Brains, did you see where Alan went?"

"N-no, Mr. T-Tracy," he answered.

Alan decided to start checking the sleeping quarters that John used first. His eyes naturally moved to the bed first but there was no sign of his brother. He then realized that a strange sound was coming from the corner. Peering into the shadowy corner, he found his brother cocooned in the thick comforter that was normally on his bed. It was then that it dawned on him what the strange sound was. It was the sound of his brother's breathing. Instead of smooth, it kept hitching as if he couldn't get a deep breath.

As John fought for another breath, his head came up and Alan caught sight of his face. Dark circles around his eyes stood out against the deathly pallor of his normally pale skin. But it was his eyes that would haunt Alan for some time. Instead of a lively and bright blue, John's eyes were now a dull and lackluster blue and unfocused as if he were fighting an internal battle and losing.

Alan stood staring down at his brother unable to move or call out for his dad. He only moved when a hand clamped down on his shoulder. "What is it, Son?" asked Jeff, seeing the worry in his son's eyes. Alan couldn't say anything so Jeff followed his son's gaze and gasped. He quickly crossed the room and dropped down to the floor in front of his son. John didn't seem to acknowledge his presence so Jeff gently touched his shoulder.

John flinched at his touch. "No, leave me alone please, stop. Don't hurt me."

"John, it's okay. It's just me, your dad. You're safe now." Jeff spoke softly not wanting to alarm his son any further.

Shifting from the reach of the shadow, John clenched his eyes shut. "Stop it, leave me alone. I'm not bad. I'm good. I didn't do anything, Please stop." His heart wrenching words tore at Jeff's heart. His son was clearly very ill and very confused.

Slowly, Jeff reached out for his son again. "That's right, Johnny, you're good. You haven't done anything wrong. I'm going to get you home so that you're safe."

Feeling something touching him again, John mumbled, "Miss home, miss brothers, miss Dad, don't want to die alone."

Jeff breathed a sigh of relief that John had seemed to accept his touch. "You're not going to die alone, Johnny. Alan and I are going to take you home so that you won't miss us."

He had just pulled his son against him when John opened his glazed eyes. Tears streamed down his face. "What did I do, Dad, to make you leave me here for so long?" With one last hitching breath, he collapsed in his dad's arms, unconscious.

Alan finally found his voice, "What is he talking about, Dad? He has only been up here for three weeks."

"I think it's the fever talking, Son. Let's get him into Thunderbird Three. The sooner we get him home the better." Holding his second-born son close for a moment, he felt a moment's fear that he'd almost lost his boy.

"Is he going to be okay, Dad?" asked Alan as he helped his father get John up off the floor.

"He is going to be fine, Son." Luckily John was the lightest of his sons so they had no trouble carrying him back to Thunderbird Three. After seeing that John was safely secured in the medical unit on Three, Jeff left him in Brains' care. Brains had already set Five to automatic so that any rescue calls would be routed to Tracy Island.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: **Sadly, we still can't claim ownership of the Tracys or the Thunderbirds.

**A/N:** Thanks to everyone who has read and/or reviewed our little story so far. lissysue85 and sam1

**Chapter 3**

Jeff joined Alan as they prepared to head home once more. He noticed that his son was very quiet and concentrating overly hard on flying his craft. "Alan, are you okay?"

"Not really," admitted Alan, honestly. "You don't think Johnny really believes that we would leave him up there, do you?"

Jeff made sure that the Auto Pilot had activated and then moved over to his son. He gently turned the chair to face him and knelt before his baby boy. "No, Alan, I don't. John is just very ill and probably delirious. He knows that we would never leave him up there."

Swallowing hard, Alan met his father's gaze. "Dad, I've never seen him look so lost. So haunted. And I couldn't move to comfort him. I froze." He dropped his gaze and a lone tear fell from his eye. "He was so scared and I could see his fear. Dad, I could feel the fear radiating from him."

Jeff placed his fingers under Alan's chin and tilted his head back up to face him. "I know, Son, I could feel it, too."

Alan's watery blue eyes let his father know just how guilty he felt about not being able to approach his big brother. It didn't matter to the youngest Tracy that his big brother wasn't even aware that it was his family near him. What mattered is that he felt he'd let his big brother down. The same big brother who had always tried to make sure that he was available to any of his brothers if they needed him.

Jeff, sensing the inner turmoil in his son, closed the gap between them and pulled his baby boy into his arms. Alan didn't even try and move away from his father, showing just how much this had affected him. Instead he leaned into his father and took what comfort he needed before he felt ready to let go.

The moment was broken by the incoming call alarm. Alan pulled away from his father and spun back round to face the main console. "Thunderbird Three here, go ahead, Scott," he said, knowing it would be him.

"How is John? How come nobody called in to let us know what was going on?" Scott demanded, heatedly. Manning Base Control was not settling too well with the seasoned Field Commander. He was used to being in the thick of things not sitting out and twiddling his thumbs so to speak.

Alan spied the steaming coffee mug sitting off to Scott's left. "How much have you had to drink, Scotty?"

Scott's mouth opened and closed again. Then, "We're not talking about how much I've had to drink but you and Dad not answering my questions."

"Scott, breathe. Your brother will be fine. He is currently with Brains being checked out. It looks as though he may have a bad case of the flu." Jeff didn't want to tell Scott over the radio about John's delirium as it would only worry him further. And if there was one thing that the Tracy family knew without a doubt it was that a worried Scott hyped up on caffeine could be a tyrant until he could ascertain for himself that his family was safe and well.

"So, what cup number is that one then?" asked Alan.

Suddenly, a voice yelled out from off screen. "Fifth cup." Virgil then appeared beside his older brother and asked, "Dad, would you like me to get the sickbay ready for John?" Scott glared at his younger brother before turning his attention back to their dad and baby brother.

"Is he really bad enough to go to the sickbay?" Grabbing the mug of coffee, Scott took a couple of drinks. Alan saw how his hand shook and knew that if he didn't do something, Scott would be a huge problem. He'd experienced firsthand how his big brother was in a full out protective mode while drinking cup after cup of coffee.

"It's just a precaution, Son," reassured Jeff. "Virgil, could you take that cup away from your brother and make sure he doesn't make another one?" Alan breathed a sigh of relief. He was glad that his dad had noticed that Scott had had too much. Nodding, Virgil quickly pulled the cup out of his hand and handed it to Gordon.

Scott looked at his father in annoyance. "Dad, I'm fine. There's no need to confiscate my coffee."

Raising an eyebrow, Jeff looked directly at his eldest son. "When your hand is shaking then you have had way too much caffeine."

"Ha, told you so, Scotty," said Gordon. Glaring off-screen, Scott's eyes narrowed in annoyance just as laughter erupted from Virgil. Alan and Jeff looked at one another, wondering what was happening on Tracy Island. Then loud and clear, "Mm, this is pretty good coffee. Kyrano must have remembered to get the better blend this time."

Seeing his younger brother drinking his coffee, Scott lunged out of his chair. Out of sight but not hearing, Jeff could hear the ensuing struggle and argument. With a sigh, he looked at Virgil who had taken Scott's place. "Right we shall be landing in two hours. Virgil, go and make sure that sickbay is ready for us when we land." Raising his voice so that Scott and Gordon would hear him, "Gordon, go help Virgil. And then I want you waiting in Thunderbird Three's silo thirty minutes before we land. You and Alan will finish post-flight procedures."

Scott reappeared next to Virgil and nudged him. "Get up."

Jeff gazed for a moment at his eldest son, "And Scott, I mean what I said earlier, no more coffee."

"I don't think you have to worry about that, Dad." Gordon suddenly appeared next to Virgil. His hair wet and dark liquid rivulets streamed down his face and onto his t-shirt. "Virgil, I'll meet you in sickbay after I take a shower and change…again."

Before anyone could say a word, they heard a whimpered, "I'm being good. I don't want the darkness any more. I...NO, PLEASE!" Heart-wrenching screams could be heard in the cockpit of Three and on Base as well since communications were still open.


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer:** We still don't own them.

**A/N:** Our sincerest apologies for the delay in updating but between work, Lissysue feeling a bit under the weather, and of course, time differences, we couldn't help it. Oh, and a we wanted to thank LMB for being our inspiration for the last chapter concerning Scott and coffee. Mattie, thank you for helping us with a portion of this update, love ya. Lissysue85 and sam1

**Chapter 4**

With a quick flip of several switches, Jeff made sure that Three was on Auto Pilot again, and ran for medical room where he'd left his son and Brains. Alan looked at the monitor and couldn't believe what he was seeing.

The colour rapidly drained out of Scott's face. "What's wrong with John?"

Suddenly, Jeff's voice came over the radio, "Brains, what the hell happened?"

"I-I-I just l-leaned over to c-ch-monitor his IV f-fl-fluids."

Jeff stared down at John who was struggling against the straps securing him to the bed. Kneeling down next to him, he spoke in a calm tone. "John, calm down, Son. It's okay, you're safe, no one is going to hurt you."

John suddenly turned his head and looked at his father. "Why did you leave me up there? Why did you forget about me? What did I do?"

"What the hell is he talking about Alan?" demanded Scott. Scott's anger abated slightly when he saw the ashen face of his baby brother. He seemed frozen just staring at nothing. "Alan!" He got no response so he tried again. "Alan! Alan, come on look at me." Slowly, Alan turned his head to look at his big brother. "Allie, do you know what John is talking about?" he asked gently. Alan just shook his head saying nothing.

"We didn't leave you, John. We came up as soon as you missed your check-in call." Jeff, tentatively, placed his hand on John's arm. "Son, we'd never leave you."

"But you did, you left me up there, you forgot about me." His hands clenched and twisted the blanket that covered him. His voice dropped to a whisper, "You forgot me because you..." His eyes widened in fright but Jeff didn't see what his son did. He couldn't nor could he understand. "Nonononono...I'm good. My...please leave me alone...Dad, make it go away...NO, I don't like the cold." Pulling against the straps, John's panic intensified to the point Brains was afraid that he'd hurt himself...

Stepping past Jeff, he pushed a light sedative into the IV port. "I-I'm sorry, Mr. T-Tr-Tracy but I was a-af-worried that he'd h-hurt himself." Jeff barely nodded as he watched the sedative begin to take effect.

Slowly, John's hands unclenched and the panicked expression smoothed out until he was staring up at his father quietly. "You came to get me?"

Alan pressed the necessary buttons to take back control of Thunderbird 3. He needed to be doing something or his mind would continue to haunt him with his brother's words. Trying to find different tasks to do while piloting the huge rocket ship, Alan hoped that Scott would leave him alone for now.

Tortured by his brother's words, Scott began to pace. What had happened to make his brother so panicked? He had never heard so much fear in John's voice. What was triggering such screams of terror? Remembering the heart-wrenching scream, Scott felt his own heartbreak as there had been nothing he could do. From what little he knew, he could only assume that John was pretty much locked in his mind. The fever had to be producing a fear-inducing delirium of which there would be no escape for John until his fever came down.

Virgil and Gordon sat on their father's desk, watching Scott pace. It was one of those rare times that Gordon wasn't in a jovial mood. His worry for his big brother was almost tangible as Virgil well knew. He was sitting next to the red-haired prankster and could feel the anxiety and worry coming off of him in waves.

"Scott, what's going on? Why would John ever feel that way?" His next question froze in his throat at the look his eldest brother was giving him.

"Do I look like I have the answers to your damn questions?" Scott snapped, angrily.

Sliding from the desk, Virgil stepped up to Scott. "Hey, don't take your anger out on him. All he did was ask a couple of questions. Questions that I, myself, have."

Side-stepping Virgil, Scott walked over to the window and gazed out across the island. "I'm as much in the dark about this whole situation as you are," he then turned back round to face them, adding, "I don't know why John was saying those things and I wish I did."

Gordon unable to stand the tension anymore walked out of the room and headed towards the silo for Thunderbird 3. He knew they weren't due to land for a while yet but he needed to be elsewhere. He knew that a lot of his brother's ramblings would have been down to his fever driven state but there had to be some part of him that actually believed they would leave him up there all alone. Gordon had arrived at the Silo now and without even realizing it, had been pacing the floor like Scott.

At the thought of his older brother, Gordon stopped pacing. He knew that however hard this was for him, it would be even harder for his big brother. He couldn't help the slight chuckle that followed that thought as he knew as well as the rest of his brothers that Scott seemed to be driven to protect his baby brothers no matter what or how old they were. He had been doing it ever since they were little and that protection had increased when their mother had died. If he didn't know better, he would have thought that Scott had promised their mother that he'd always look after them for her. He had to admit though, that Scott did a good job at looking after them. Even if each of them had teased him on more than one occasion. And even more often, each of them had gotten a little upset with the way he seemed to smother them when he was really worried.

Laughing, he thought of John, "Sorry, big brother, but the biggest brother is going to be a constant shadow for you for a long time."


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer:** Still don't own 'em.

**Chapter 5**

His mood grew somber and his mind wandered to his baby brother. He knew Alan had to be taking this really hard and he wished he could talk to him. Wiping his hand over his face, he sighed. Something caught his eye and he noticed his watch. "Damn, Gordy, you really need to think more often." He quickly set his watch to connect to Alan's silently praying that his brother would actually answer. "C'mon, Al, I want to know how you're holding up."

Just as he began to think, his brother wasn't going to answer a little voice said softly, "I'm here, Gordy."

"Allie, how are things up there? More importantly, how are you doing, little brother?"

Gordon could see Alan look off screen and figured he was adjusting something for the flight home. However, that was not the case. Alan was trying to hide his tears from his big brother and closest friend. "Brains had to sedate John as he was worried that he would hurt himself," replied Alan, still looking away. He knew that if he looked into those bright green eyes, the tears he was fighting back would fall.

It didn't matter that Gordy had seen him cry before, there was just something within the Tracys that they tried to keep their emotions under strict guard. And for the time being, he couldn't really handle anything else. Not now with John being so ill.

Gordon couldn't fight back the stab of fear he felt at his brother's words. It must have been really bad for them to have to sedate John. He was probably the calmest in the family and was usually the one who calmed the others down. It was then he noticed that Alan was still looking away from the screen. "Allie," he called softly.

Reluctantly, Alan looked at his next oldest brother. His friend and often co-conspirator for when the rest of their big brothers got to be too much. "Gordy, he didn't see me. He kept screaming for it to stay away." Blinking back the tears that continued to build, he whispered, "He thought Dad was punishing him. That we'd forgotten about him." A small sob escaped the tight hold he was trying to maintain on his emotions. "How could he think that? We could no more forget him than we could forget each other." Eyes bright with tears, he looked down at the instrument panel, "Gordy, did we fail him? He does know that he means a lot to us, right? This is just the fever talking and not Johnny, right?" His voice had risen to an almost hysterical pitch.

"Allie, look at me," ordered Gordon. Alan slowly raised his head to meet his brother's gaze. "It's just the fever talking. Allie, he knows we love him and would never leave him up there," reassured Gordon, hoping that what he was saying was true. He had the same worries as his brother but there was no way he was going to let Alan know that. As far as he was concerned, it was still his responsibility to protect his only baby brother. And it didn't matter what it was that he had to protect him from, he would do it.

Alan just nodded at him, unable to say anything for fear of breaking down into tears again. He'd only just managed to wipe his eyes without more tears taking their place. "You will soon be home, baby brother, then Dad and Brains can get John settled in Sickbay." A smile graced his mouth but didn't reach his eyes, "And Brains will work his magic and John will be better again before we know it."

Alan nodded again before saying softly, "Yeah, I guess so."

"Hey, no guessing, baby bro. You know John will be okay," replied Gordon, trying to keep up the reassuring smile.

Alan glanced back at his console and was relieved to realize that they would be entering Earth's atmosphere shortly. "We will be landing soon, Gordy, I need to get ready," he said, looking back up at his older brother.

"Okay, Allie. The sickbay is set up and I'm down in the Silo ready. You just concentrate on landing your rocket."

"FAB," replied Alan, signing off.

Gordon lowered his wrist back down and paced back across the Silo. He was still worried about his younger brother and would be very happy to see them land. His mind wandered to his other brothers and he wondered if Scott had cooled off a little yet. He knew it was just down to the worry and the caffeine but it had hurt a little when his big brother snapped at him. He was also worried that Scott might snap at Alan and he knew his baby brother couldn't handle that right now. For all purposes, Alan was still a kid as far as he was concerned. And had yet to develop the ability to blow off Scott's abrasiveness when he was worried about one of the younger Tracy brothers. He knew his baby brother had faced off against Scott before but never under these circumstances and even if he had, Gordon had a feeling Alan couldn't have handled it right now anyway.

* * *

Setting a couple of IV bags and some IV tubing on a metal trolley, Virgil paused for a moment to think of what else Brains may need for John. He didn't notice Scott's appearance in sickbay.

"They should be home soon," Scott said, startling Virgil.

"Geez, Scott, you really don't have to sneak into places and scare the hell out of me, you know?" Virgil set the correct needle down on the trolley next to some alcohol preps and cotton balls.

A slight smirk crossed Scott's face. "Sorry bro. I would have thought you were used to by it now." Virgil just rolled his eyes at his older brother and continued with what he was doing. "Do you need any help, Virg?"

Without looking around, Virgil replied, "Nope, it's okay, Scott. Easier if I just do it then I know where everything is." Virgil was a very laid back person most of the time but when it came to the sickbay or Thunderbird Two, he could be very particular. This had caused endless amusement for their two younger siblings who loved to move stuff about or hide it from him. "There isn't a whole lot to do anyway. Not without knowing what is wrong with John." He leaned against the bed he had readied for their brother, sighing. "From what we heard, I won't be surprised if he has a fever but damn, those screams..." Honey burnt brown eyes met grey eyes as both brothers heard the screams of their brother in their mind. "And how could he ever think we'd forget him, Scotty?"

Scott shrugged, leaning against the bed as well. "I don't know for sure, Virg. I do remember that when Mom died, John was always afraid that Dad would forget him."

"Why would he fear that? Dad was always there for us."

"In the days following Mom's funeral, Dad tended to avoid the places Mom normally could be found. And those were the places that Johnny went to. He never saw Dad there and figured that he had forgotten him." Taking a deep breath, he wiped his hand over his eyes. "One night after Dad had gotten us all tucked into bed, I heard someone sneak out of bed and creep downstairs. I got up and went downstairs as well, listening since no lights had been turned on."

Virgil chuckled, "Well, that meant it wasn't me, Gordy, or Alan. We always turned on every light we passed."

"No, it wasn't any of you. But think who never needed a light at night."

"John because he has always been nocturnal," Virgil said. "It always amazed me that he could find his way around in the dark no matter where he was."

"Exactly and he knew right where he wanted to be and went straight to that room."

Intrigued, Virgil encouraged Scott to continue. "And where did he go, Scott?

With a sad smile, Scott told him. "He went to the family room and settled down in Mom's chair, holding the afghan that she'd made before she..." He took a moment to compose himself. "He looked so lost, Virg. I mean, we all had that lost look at times but Johnny, he just…I can't explain it. I sat down next to him and was surprised that he didn't push me away. Instead he asked why Dad forgot him."

Virgil stared at Scott, confused. "I don't understand, Scott."

"Dad had promised him before Mom died that they would read a story on the stars and planets. And every night, John snuck down to the family room to wait for Dad." A ghost of a smile flitted about his mouth before he spoke again. "He may have been the quietest of us but he was pretty damn stubborn. I know that I caught him on several occasions just sitting in that chair with two books tucked next to him. One on the solar system and _The Poky Little Puppy_. Technically, he had outgrown that book but it had been his favorite and he still chose it when he and Dad managed story time."

"I think we all did that. Chose our favorite story for him to read even if we knew the book by heart." Suddenly, they felt a slight vibration beneath their feet. "They're home."

* * *

Alan started post-flight procedures immediately after Three had landed. He really didn't want to see John strapped down or hear his heart-wrenching screams if he was awake. He wanted his brother to be well again. Until then, he would let Brains and his dad handle getting John to sickbay.

Gordon stepped up to the side of Three, waiting for someone to appear. His wait wasn't too long as a door hissed open. The gurney that John was lying on appeared first from the side of Thunderbird Three. Brains was right behind it, controlling it with light touches. The cool temperature of the cavernous space woke John from his drug-induced slumber.

Eyes widening in fear, he glanced around and noticed all the long shadows. Shadows that would be reaching for him. He already felt their coldness touching him, trying to reclaim him. Something cool was being filtered through his nose. Frightened, he began jerking, trying to free himself from the shadow's hold. With his breath hitching, he fought against the many hands that tried to hold him down. He didn't see or hear his brother or father but the emptiness of the shadow. He gasped, fighting desperately to suck some air into his lungs but found himself unable to even take a little breath. The shadow had taken hold of him once more and he couldn't fight any longer.

Jeff, Gordon, and Brains were so preoccupied with John's panic that none of them noticed the youngest Tracy brother step away from Three. None noticed him sink to the floor, wrapping his arms around his legs. Only one heard his whispered pleas.

_"All will be well, Baby." _

But as the soft words were spoken, it was clear all was not well. The panic attack had dislodged the nasal cannula from John's nose, interrupting the flow of oxygen that he needed. As a result, Brains worked frantically to calm his friend. Finally, the fever, limited oxygen, and illness took its toll on John's body, sending him spiraling down into a blackness he may never wake from. The last thing he saw was something coming towards him. He felt it settle over much of his face. _"Don't wan' to die."_

* * *

A/N: Well, that's it for this update. Lissysue85 and I have decided that with work and such, we'll be updating once a week. So, we'll see you all again next Sunday.


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: **Nope they still do not belong to us

**A/N: **We are so sorry for not updating yesterday but it has just been a busy week for both of us. What with illnesses and brothers getting beaten up for no good reason, it's been a stressful week. Anyway on with the next chapter and I do hope you all enjoy it. Big thanks go to said beaten up brother for taking the time to read through this, love ya J. Love Lissysue and Sam1.

**Chapter 6**

Hearing loud voices in the hallway, Scott and Virgil glanced up at one another. "Here they come."

Virgil raised an eyebrow and shook his head. "Thanks for that, Mr. Obvious. And for your next astounding observation?"

Grinning at his younger brother, Scott shrugged. "You're going to be stuck with bedpan duty until Johnny is able to manage himself." Whatever retort Virgil had been about to say was lost as the doors to the infirmary burst open. Jeff and Gordon were on either side of the gurney, calling John's name. Brains was at John's head holding an oxygen mask over their brother's face.

"What the hell?" Scott and Virgil took a place next to the bed that had been prepped for John. Once Brains had the gurney lined up against it, the Tracys slid John onto the bed.

Brains moved the gurney and set up the oxygen cylinder next to John's bed. "V-Virgil, do you h-ha-have everything r-r-available?"

Virgil moved the small metal table next to Brains before pulling on a pair of medical gloves. "I got out what I thought you would need, Brains."

"What's the matter with John? Why is he unconscious? Did something happen on the way back?" Scott fired question after question at them. Unaware of what he was doing, he shoved Gordon aside so that he could be at his next youngest brother's side. "Johnny, c'mon, man, wake up?" Tapping his brother's face, he kept calling for him. However, John showed no signs of waking up.

"Vitals are good," Virgil called out. Gently but with obvious intention, Brains bumped Scott away from John so that he could start the IV. "Sorry, S-Scott. He n-ne-needs the fluids, n-now." With several swipes of an alcohol prep, Brains carefully inserted the IV catheter into John's arm. Within moments, he had hung a bag of fluids, taped down the catheter on John's arm, and glanced over the vitals that Virgil was monitoring.

Gordon who had remained silent up until this point suddenly swore and raced out of the room. The last thing Scott saw of his younger brother was the indignant expression on his face. And then he knew without a doubt he had offended if not hurt him. Scott fought down the momentary guilt he felt towards Gordon and focused on John. He would speak to his younger brother later.

Jeff thus far had said nothing. His sole focus was on his son and the internal berating he was giving himself. _"How could I have not realized something was wrong? I knew the last time I spoke with him that he wasn't himself. He was pale even then. What the hell caused such a rapid turnabout for him? What the hell is wrong with him?"_

"Mr. T-Tr-Tracy? Startled from his musings, Jeff looked up at Brains. "Was J-John working on an-any-anything on Five? Something that h-he could c-cut himself on?"

"Not that I know of. Why?"

"It's j-just a guess r-r-right now but I suspect he has an in-infection."

"What sort of infection?" asked Scott impatiently

"I'm n-not sure, S-Sc-Scott. I have to do some t-tests." Pointing to a cut on the palm of John's hand, he continued, "But this is in-infected." Red streaks radiated out from the cut. The cut itself was swollen with a build-up of pus and hot to the touch. "Virgil, I w-want a bag of an-anti-antibiotics hung. And I'll n-need a scalpel."

As Brains finished his sentence, Virgil handed him the scalpel he had just asked for. It didn't surprise the young scientist that Virgil was already prepared. It was common knowledge that he was the most medical minded of the family. Though he was coming across as a true professional, none of them could fail to notice the fear in those burnt honey eyes.

Almost if he was rambling to himself, Brains added, "And I want s-s-some blood drawn. I want t-to know wh-what kind of in-infection he has."

Again, Virgil laid the needed items on the metal table for Brains' use. He stood back and watched as the genius gently used the scalpel to cut open the wound on John's palm. As one, Jeff and Scott stepped back as the smell of the infection hit them.

"Well, th-this certainly explains the f-fever and de-delirium." Unfazed, Brains continued to cleanse the wound. "Virgil, w-would you put a l-light dressing over this. And as much as I h-hate to do it, re-restrain his arms. He c-could hurt his hand during one of h-his ha-hallucinations."

Virgil nodded and carried out his instructions. As he attached the restraints to John's wrists, he whispered softly, "I'm sorry, John." He knew his older brother couldn't hear him but he had to say it anyway.

Scott stared down at the open wound on his brother's hand. "Why aren't you closing that, Brains?"

Focused on drawing blood from John, he quickly glanced up at the oldest Tracy brother. "B-because if I didn't f-flush it well enough, the in-infection can start b-building up again."

"But if Brains leaves it like it is for a couple of days, he can flush it if it appears to be worsening," Virgil added. "And this way keeps him from cutting the wound open daily. Which you and I both know John would not enjoy." Even though he was frightened for his brother, Virgil was relaxing a little as he immersed himself in doing what needed to be done to help Brains. That wasn't to say that later when he had time to reflect that he wouldn't start pacing the floor.

Slightly pale, Scott glanced down at John's hand again just as Virgil applied a non-stick dressing over the wound. He had made sure that the dressing was long enough that he could tape it to the back of John's hand.

Virgil couldn't hide his smirk or the teasing tone in his voice, "Geez, Scotty, you don't look so good with pale skin tones. Only Johnny here can make that look work."

He could hear voices through the white haze but had trouble understanding what was being said. Mentally, he began to evaluate himself. _"They've put something over my face."_ His eyes moved rapidly beneath the closed lids.

"Heart rate is increasing."

Struggling to reach whatever was on his face, he found he couldn't move his arms. Panic spread through his body and mind. _"Oh, god, what are they doing to me? Why can't I move?"_

"Brains, his heart rate is still increasing. As is his respirations."

"John? Son, can you hear me?" Jeff cupped his son's face with his hands. "Son, calm down. You're safe. We have you at home in the infirmary."

_"I know that voice...Dad. That's Dad."_ Fighting down his fear and panic, John slowly opened his eyes to see his father leaning over him.

"D-Dad? C-ca-can't breathe." His words were muffled by the mask.

"You're fine, John. Brains had to put an oxygen mask on so that you received the needed oxygen for your body."

Blinking rapidly, he shifted his gaze to his left where Virgil and Scott hovered next to him.

"Don't...like it, Virg."

Clapping his hand to his brother's shoulder, Virgil smiled sympathetically, "I know, John, but it's helping you so you have to leave it on okay?"

Sighing, John blinked his eyes in acceptance. He was just too tired to argue.

"C-co-cold...want a...bl-blanket, please."

Scott grabbed one and carefully tucked his younger brother in. "Never thought I'd be tucking my grown brother in."

"Ha ha...keep it...up. You may...be as funny...as Gordy someday."

"'M sleepy," he said.

"Go ahead and sleep, Johnny. We'll take care of you."

"Please...don't let...Scotty near...the needles." The sound of his brothers and father's laughter followed him into his sleep.

* * *

**A/N: **We just want to thank all of you who showed your support to us recently after we recieved a flamingly bad review from someone who shall remain nameless. Your support was really touching and it was good to know so many of you like our story. We hope the rest of the story doesn't disappoint. Love ya lots Lissysue and Sam1.

Oh, and for those who want to leave a review but is getting a message they've already left a review...technically, you have if you replied to my little rant the other day. You can still review as neither Lissysue nor myself felt we should cower from nasty flames and as such have left the anonymous review available.


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer:** Ownership of the Thunderbirds and the Tracys hasn't changed since our last update as far as we know. This story has been written purely for our entertainment and hopefully yours.

**A/N:** This update is dedicated in memory of a very special man who meant the world to seven very special people in my life. I found a poem that gave me comfort when my own father passed away and I hope that this little piece will give some comfort to them. Sam1

_As you hold me close in memory,_

_Even though we are apart,_

_My spirit will live on,_

_There within your heart…_

_I am with you always._

_Author unknown_

**Chapter 7**

Using the side of Thunderbird Three for support, Alan leaned against it. His gaze fixed on nothing in particular whilst his thoughts swirled in his head faster than he could comprehend. The one thing he couldn't let go of was his first look at John on Five. The sheer terror in his eyes. The way he had flinched from their father. The way he didn't recognise them and how he fought against their touch. But most of all he couldn't understand John's assertions that they had forgotten him.

_"How could he ever think that?"_ Alan lightly hit his head against Three.

"Hey, Al, you're going to put a dent in your 'bird."

Startled at the sound of Gordon's voice, Alan smacked his head hard against the huge space rocket. "Son of a--"

Before he could finish the expletive, Gordon clapped a hand over his youngest brother's mouth, "Ah ah, little bro. There will be no cussing around your lady."

Pulling the hand away that covered his mouth; Alan glared at his brother and then stalked across the Silo away from him.

Worry lined the red-head's face. "Hey, Alan, I'm sorry. I came down to check on you." Alan ignored Gordon and continued to the door that would lead out of the Silo. He could hear the worry in his brother's voice but it didn't stop him. He needed to be alone. As he pressed the button to open the door, he felt a hand touch his shoulder.

"What's the matter, bro?"

Spinning round, Alan looked at Gordon in disbelief. "John is lying in the Sickbay, seriously ill and you ask me, "what's the matter?" How the hell can you stand there and ask me such a stupid question? Oh, wait; I know how you can do that. You couldn't be found this morning when Dad decided to go get John. So I got to go in your place. And lucky me, I got to see our brother freaking out that he thought we would hurt him." As suddenly as his anger erupted, it deflated and left him feeling instantly guilty. He didn't even need to see his brother's face to know that his words had hurt him.

Before Gordon could make any sort of response, Alan turned back around and slammed his hand on the button to open the door. The second it slid open, he shot out of it and raced down the corridor away from Gordon. Alan made it outside and ran past the pool. He stopped on the uppermost step so that he could take off his boots. Setting them carelessly off to the side, he jumped up again, running flat out along the sandy beach. His feet pounded across the sand as he attempted to run from his tumultuous emotions.

Fear, anger, guilt, and worry all clawed at his very soul. Fear and worry that something really bad was happening to his brother. Anger that he was too afraid to go to the infirmary and check on his brothers who had surely gathered around John. Guilt that he lashed out so angrily at his closest brother. The one who was always there for him. _"And what do I do?" _ Taking a deep breath, he yelled, "I TREATED HIM LIKE CRAP!" And with that, he collapsed to the sand in a heap.

* * *

"Hey Scott, what was with the look that Gordy gave you?"

Scott glanced up from where he was sitting on the edge of one of the beds. In a movement that was similar to his youngest brother, Scott rubbed the back of his neck. "I may have upset him when I shoved him out of my way, trying to get to Johnny."

"Are you sure that's what's bothering him?" asked Virgil.

Scott looked at Virgil in confusion. "What do you mean, bro?"

Virgil hopped up on the bed next to Scott. "I mean, are you sure that is all that upset Gordy?" Chuckling just a bit, he continued, "He's not one to get too upset when you're being your normal over-protective self."

"Well, then what made him run out of the room?" asked Scott. The worry had muddled his brain a little and he wasn't sure where his brother was going with this.

"How about the little brother we are missing?"

A horrified look crossed Scott's face as he realized he hadn't even noticed Alan's lack of appearance. What sort of brother was he? Rubbing his forehead, he wished for another cup of coffee to help him keep his thoughts straight.

Virgil patted him on the shoulder. "No, you can't have any more coffee today." Laughing out right at the expression on Scott's face, he stood up and checked the monitors above John's head.

Jeff hadn't heard a word of his sons' conversation as he was too busy watching over his stargazer. John seemed to be sleeping peacefully at the moment and Jeff was relieved. Maybe the worst was over now.

It wasn't until Scott joined Virgil at the monitors that Jeff realized something was wrong.

"I was just so focused on John and...damn, I better go find him."

Virgil nodded in agreement. "Yep, and if I were you, I'd wear some protective gear just in case Gordon comes unglued."

* * *

Scott wandered into the lounge and seeing no sign of his youngest brothers, walked over to the window. He wondered if Gordon might be in the pool. It was where he could usually be found when things were bad. And he had to admit to himself things had certainly gotten bad for the family in a way none of them expected that morning when they woke up. His gaze wandered over to John's portrait and he found himself moving closer to it. What had happened to his brother up there? Was it just the fever or was there a deeper reason for his panic. Had John been bottling up his feelings all this time until it reached a point where he just couldn't hold them in any longer? Scott ran his fingers through his hair and sighed. He would need to have a long talk with his brother when he was feeling better.

Having made a promise to himself, Scott left the lounge and headed towards the kitchen. As he wandered down the corridor, a noise from one of the bedrooms caught his attention and he paused. Hurrying up the small set of stairs, he listened for the noise that had caught his attention. Reaching the top, he realised the noise was coming from Gordon's room and he approached the door. He hesitated for a moment before knocking on the door. Scott knew he had hurt his brother. And even though it was unintentional, he wasn't looking forward to facing him. Gordon's jovial personality masked a temper that rivaled Scott and Jeff's.

Taking a deep breath, he rapped on the closed door. "Gordon, are you in there?"

"Nope but feel free to leave a message at the door for someone who cares."

"C'mon, Gordy, don't be like that. I didn't mean to push you. I was just worried about John."

The bedroom door opened and Gordon glared at his oldest brother. "You were worried about John? What about the rest of us? Do you think you have the monopoly on worrying about our brothers?"

"Just because you're the oldest doesn't mean that your worrying is any more important than ours."

"I know that Gordon."

Gordon shook his head and stepped right up to Scott. "No, I don't think you do, Scott. For as long as I can remember, you've been the one who took care of us as much as we took care of each other. Lately, you've begun to behave as you're the only one allowed to worry. That you're the one who has to be there first regardless of who may be standing next to a fallen brother."

Taking a step back, Scott stood to his full height and glowered down at him. "Excuse me? Who the hell do you think you are? Do you even realize what I gave up after Mom died to help take care of you and the rest of our brothers?"

"Oh, get off that soapbox, Scott. I know exactly what you gave up because you never let me forget it. Every time we have an argument, you remind me." Jabbing a finger into his brother's chest, he carried on with his rant. "She's been gone for almost twenty years, Scott. When are you going to let it go?"

Scott glanced down at the finger jabbed into his chest and something akin to a warning growl came from deep within him. "I'm giving you two seconds to get your damn finger off of me before I break it."

Gordon moved his finger but didn't step away from his brother. "You seem to forget, Scott, just how lucky you were. You have twelve years of memories with her, I only have five and to be honest I barely even remember her. You have no idea how awful that feels." He looked down at the floor, hiding his red-rimmed and teary eyes. "If you'll get the hell out of my way maybe I can go check on my brother." Pushing past Scott, Gordon headed downstairs towards the infirmary.

"Gordon, where is Alan?"

"I don't know. Why don't you go find him so that you don't have any of us lesser brothers in the way of your worry?"

Speechless, Scott watched as his brother disappeared from view. Dropping his voice to a whisper, "I'm sorry, Gords. I really didn't know that you felt that way. And God knows that I wish Mom was still here."

* * *

A/N: Well folks, that's it for this update. Hope you enjoyed it. – Lissysue and sam1


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer:** Nothing has changed since our last update, we still don't own them.

**A/N:** Thanks to everyone who has been reading our story. Hopefully, we managed to respond to all the signed reviews. The support and continued feedback has been amazing. Thank you all so much.

**MnM:** Of course we just keep getting more evil. And we blame you and Will for that...wait, I was already corrupted. It's lissysue who is slowly edging to the dark side. hee hee Careful what you suggest, we can and usually do find a way to cause more pain for the Tracys. love ya lots. - lissysue and sam1

**TBZ:** Those boys are just a tad hardheaded but they'll eventually come around. Thanks for reading and reviewing. lissysue and sam1

**Chapter 8**

It wasn't until John's low groans of discomfort were heard that Jeff and Virgil realized the blond astronaut was waking up. Jeff hurried to his side and gently grasped the still restrained hand of his son. Watching him open his eyes, Jeff wondered briefly if John would be his normal or delirious self. "John? C'mon, Son, it's time to wake up."

Blinking up at his father, John grimaced. His throat was dry and he found it hard to speak. He glanced at the cup sitting on the table next to his dad. Jeff followed his son's gaze and picked up the cup. He was a little startled when an arm reached round him, placing a straw into the cup.

"Let me raise the head of his bed up so that he doesn't choke." Virgil pushed a button on the side of John's bed and watched as it slowly rose to the desired position. "Do you mind if I help him this time, Dad?" Jeff shrugged and handed the cup to Virgil before settling back down in his chair.

Neither Virgil nor Jeff noticed the tense posture John suddenly assumed. Nor did they realize that the sparkle that had been in John's eyes earlier before he'd fallen asleep was gone. Virgil sat down on the bed beside his brother and brought the cup closer so that John could take a drink. The water soon disappeared and Virgil stood up, taking the cup away.

John's eyes then found his father's and Jeff smiled down at him. "Feel better?"

Nodding wearily, John experimentally moved his hands and ankles against the restraints. With a barely audible moan of dismay, he closed his eyes again.

A cold tendril of warning crept up the back of Jeff's neck. "Son, is there anything wrong?"

John took a deep breath and forced his eyes opened. He was unwilling to let the shadow bully him any longer. "No. May I please have some more water?" As he spoke he glanced around the room, relieved that he couldn't see the shadow creeping towards him. Maybe it was finally going to leave him alone. What he wouldn't give for a moment's peace. A moment of total clarity and no fear of those black, icy shadows reaching for him. Impatiently, waiting for the perfect moment to end his life. Twice now they have been denied his soul. Would they allow a third time for him to escape their grip?

Looking back at his father, he saw a fresh cup before him and drank it slowly. His eyes still darting around the room for any sign of the shadow. When the glass was empty, Jeff moved it away and studied his son. He could still see fear in those blue eyes and wanted to know what had his usually calm son so freaked out.

Cupping his son's face in his hand, Jeff leaned towards him. "Talk to me, John. Tell me what's going on?"

His voice was low and tinged with just a bit of fear. "The shadow, Dad. It's waiting for me to be alone again. Please, please, don't leave me alone." Tears pooled in his eyes before trickling down his cheeks. "I don't want it to take me away from you, Dad. Or from my brothers. I don't want to die alone."

Jeff moved so that he could sit on the bed whilst being mindful of his son's arms and pulled him into a tight embrace. He fought against the lump in his throat, "You're not going to die, Son. And nobody is going to take you away from us, I promise."

Not realizing that his father and brother were talking, Virgil came out of the stockroom attached to the infirmary. His head was down, reading one of Brains' medical books. "Hey, Dad, I wonder if this is what John has. He is showing a few of the symptoms." Looking up, he realized that he had interrupted what obviously was a private moment between father and son. What he didn't expect was to see his normally calm brother glaring at him.

"Get out. I'm tired of sharing Dad with you. You and everyone else always take his time and then he forgets about me. You're not any better than me, Virgil. I'm his son too and he has to spend time to talk and be with me as well."

Virgil was so shocked by the anger in his brother's voice that he froze for a moment, unable to say anything. In the deafening silence of the room, all three men started a bit when the door to the infirmary opened. A moment later, Gordon walked in still red in the face from his confrontation with Scott. Snapped out of his shock by his younger brother's presence, Virgil moved away from the bed. Muttering quietly about needing to get something, he quickly exited the room.

Still seething, John snapped at his dad, "Go after him just like you always do when one of them need you. Don't worry about me; I'm used to being left alone." His anger suddenly spiraled out of control. Taking a deep breath, his eyes tearing over, he struggled against the restraints. "Let me go," he yelled, fighting hard to be free.

Gordon hurried to his brother's side. "Hey, man, calm down."

Jeff though wanting to go after his middle son, stayed by John's side. He tried not to let either of his sons see just how much it hurt him when John pulled away from him. "Leave me alone. Go after the crybaby." Breathing hard, John closed his eyes and lay back against his pillow. "Just leave me alone. 'M tired."

"Go, Dad, I'll stay here with him." Gordon offered, watching his brother as his eyes snapped open.

"I said leave me the hell alone. Now, GET. OUT."

Both Gordon and Jeff knew that there was no way John could get free and neither of them wanted to further anger him so they left. "Brains, John is alone in the infirmary, calming down. Please listen out for him." Jeff was glad for the watches that Brains had developed that allowed each of them to keep in contact both at home and at a rescue.

"O-okay, Mr. T-Tracy." Brains' face was replaced with the normal watch face.

Leaning against the wall, Gordon looked back towards the infirmary. "Dad, what the heck is wrong with him?"

"Brains suspects that John has an infection and is doing the lab work to figure out what type of infection."

"I know that but what's bringing on the changes in attitude and emotions?"

"I wish I knew, Son, I wish I knew." Looking towards where the hall split off, he sighed. "Right now, I need to find Virgil. I'm sure that what John said hurt him. What are you going to do?"

Shrugging, Gordon frowned a moment before heading towards his room. "I'm going to go swim some laps." Mumbling under his breath, "I need something routine to keep me from losing it again." He gave a half-hearted wave to his dad before running up the stairs.

"Okay, Virgil Grissom Tracy, where did you run off to?" Following his instinct, he headed towards Thunderbird Two's silo.

* * *

Quietly, he made his way back to the infirmary. Not proud of himself for having run off or hiding from his dad, he hesitated next to the infirmary door. He tried to keep his emotions calm as he walked towards his sleeping brother's bed. Noticing that the blanket John had asked for had fallen to the floor; he picked it up and covered him again before sitting down on the chair next to the bed.

"You're wrong, John. It wasn't you that Dad forgot or never had time for when we were younger. It was me. I'm the one he neglected and ignored. I'm the one he forgot. He may never have read that book to you but he did make time for you. It never hurt him to look at you or pained him when you did something you loved. He wouldn't let me play the piano or paint. He took away everything that I loved because it reminded him of her. Because I remind him of her." Standing up, Virgil walked away from the bed, in an effort to compose himself. He never noticed the flickering of his brother's eyes or the tear that trickled down his cheek at the heartbreaking words.

Unbeknownst to Virgil, Jeff stood just outside the infirmary, also listening. Hearing just how much he hurt his sons without having realized the damage he had done. "What have I done?" Turning away, he walked off for a little time alone.

In the shadows, a translucent figure watched as he walked away. _"Rocket Man, don't give up. Our boys aren't themselves right now. They love and believe in you."_

* * *

A/N: Criminally Charmed uses Rocket Man in some of her Thunderbirds' stories and was kind enough to let us borrow Lucy's nickname for Jeff in our story as well. Thanks, CC. - sam1


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer:** Car (death trap, according to Lissysue), truck, iPods, and books…Darn, no Thunderbirds or Tracys are owned by either of us. So please don't sue.

**A/N:** We know it's been a while since we updated and you are probably ready to send a lynch mob after us but we do have a good excuse. Well, we have an excuse. Well, okay we don't. But in our defence, two of my brothers thought it would be really fun to make me ill again.

**Chapter 9**

Having fallen asleep after collapsing to the sand, Alan was unaware of time. Time in which the tide had turned and was now rapidly rushing towards him.

* * *

Scott stared after his second youngest brother. And not for the first time in his life, he felt torn. He was the big brother and as such had given up so much for his younger brothers since their mother had died. Now, was no different, he'd give anything he could to fix the slight rift he felt separating him and Gordon. On the other hand, he was so damned tired of being the one who was always wrong or responsible for making things better. He rubbed his hand over his face. "If I'm thinking like that, then I need a break. Away from the Island."

Pushing those thoughts from his head, he shifted his focus to Alan. If it was Gordon he was looking for then he would be headed for the pool right now but Alan wouldn't go there. Virgil would be staring out across the hangar from the flight deck of Thunderbird Two. Alan wouldn't go there either but he might have gone to the silo that housed his own 'bird. Shaking his head, Scott quickly shut down that possibility. Given what had happened on Three on the return trip from Five, Alan would stay as far from his 'bird as he could.

He glanced towards Alan's bedroom and shrugged. "Good a place as any to start." Several raps on the door and after overriding the code, Scott quickly checked the empty suite of rooms. He left the empty rooms behind and jogged towards the stairs and down them, heading for the lounge.

"Alan, where the hell are you?" Scott asked to yet another empty room. The late afternoon sun was partially blocked from the special windows that Brains had designed.

He looked towards his father's desk and with a slight grin, gazed at the portraits of him and his brothers lining the wall. With a sigh, his gaze locked onto one portrait in particular. John's. "What did you do to yourself up there, little brother?" Much like Alan had done earlier, Scott rubbed the back of his neck. "I could use your help right about now, Johnny. Seems as though I've screwed up and I'm not sure how to fix it this time." He dropped his gaze to the floor. "I'm not good at being the peacekeeper or...Hell, all I know is watching out for you lot. You know, protecting you? Keeping you from getting into trouble."

Looking back up again, he was drawn towards the doors to the balcony. Stepping out, he gazed out over the island, wishing he could run off some of the stress he was feeling. It then hit Scott just where his baby brother might be. Like him, Alan found running along the beach was a great stress reliever especially after a grueling or hard rescue. He walked past the pool, absently noting the still water. He glanced down the steps leading to the beach and noticed a pair of boots. Moving closer, he realized they belonged to Alan and knew he was headed in the right direction. Pausing for just a moment at the top of the steps, Scott looked out where the incoming tide overtook the beach. "Dad couldn't have picked a more beautiful place to live." Thinking back to his younger years on the family farm in Kansas, Scott felt a moment of longing. "Kansas was beautiful, too. Only in a different way. There we had winters and changing seasons." In an almost whisper, he added, "And Mom." Swallowing down the lump that had formed in his throat, he began walking along the beach. Keeping his pace steady, he watched as the waves rolled onto the shore. The tide was coming in and soon the waves would be lapping around his feet. Looking ahead, Scott saw a sight that caused his blood to run cold. Laying on the sand just a few metres ahead was the collapsed form of his baby brother. As if that wasn't enough to frighten him, Alan had collapsed closer to the water. Close enough that before he could even utter a cry of warning, a wave hit his baby brother's face.

Sprinting forwards, Scott could see Alan had awoken and was choking on the water that now surrounded him. Reaching his brother, Scott dropped to his knees in the cold water and pulled Alan up. Supporting him with one arm across his chest, he began to rub his back to help expel the water. Finally, Alan stopped coughing and sank weakly against his oldest brother. "I've gotchya, Allie."

The two brothers stayed in the cold water until Alan felt that he could move. Teeth chattering, Alan motioned towards the drier parts of the beach. "C-c-cold...Scotty." Berating himself for not getting his brother out of the water sooner, Scott stood up, pulling Alan up with him.

"Come on, baby bro, let's get you indoors and into some dry clothes." Alan just nodded still shivering and allowed Scott to lead him away from the beach. He only half-heard his older brother's ramblings. "Allie, you scared the crap out of me back there."

The only thing that penetrated Alan's brain was the warmth of Scott's arm around his shoulders. "Sorry, Scott...didn't mean...to."

Glancing down at the baby of the family. "I understand that you needed to burn off the stress from seeing John like he was and the flight home."

Guilt suddenly flashed in Alan's eyes as he remembered why he had ended up out here in the first place. Feeling the need to talk, Alan shook his head. "That wasn't all of it, Scott." He shifted his gaze up towards their home. Just catching a glimpse of someone diving into the pool. "Gordy tried to talk to me. Heck, he was the one who came down to Three to check on me." He swallowed hard as Scott hugged him closer. "I was horrible to him, Scotty. I...gawd, he was only trying to help me."

Scott now realized why Gordon had seemed so angry when he first entered his room. He was still reeling from Alan's outburst at him. Noticing his baby brother was looking at him, he gave him a reassuring smile and squeezed his shoulder. "Gordy will be okay, Al. You know nothing gets him down for long. You and he will soon be plotting your next evil prank." Having said that, Scott groaned inwardly at himself. He knew exactly who was going to be the target of their next prank.

Alan smiled at his older brother but it didn't quite reach those crystal blue eyes of his. Although he knew Scott was right, he wasn't looking forward to speaking to Gordon. He, alone, knew just how much he'd hurt his closest brother and repairing that damage was going to be no easy feat. Then there was the guilt he felt over John. They had been back on the island for a while now and he still hadn't been down to see him. He felt like a coward, hiding from his brother because he was scared John might freak out again.

Suddenly, Alan wanted his dad. To be held in his dad's protective embrace. But that was the easy way and he was a Tracy. Tracy's didn't cower when things went against them even if it was their own fault. They faced everything head on and that was what Alan intended to do. With new found determination, Alan moved away from Scott and headed inside to get changed before heading to the Sickbay.

* * *

A/N: Just a quick reminder, there is obviously going to be a mixture of British and American terms throughout this story. Simple explanation…Lissysue is British and I'm American.


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer:** We didn't create them nor do we own them. The Tracys, International Rescue, and the Thunderbirds are the creation of Gerry Anderson.

**A/N:** We know that you missed the torture that we've been inflicting on the Tracys and rest assured we aren't finished yet. This update is dedicated to Kier as he is a bit under the weather but continues to be supportive of our various stories. Thanks, Kier, for your support. We love ya and hope you feel better soon. Lissysue and Sam

**Chapter 10**

With his son's words replaying in his head, Jeff followed the stone path that was surrounded by plants and flowers native to the island. The path and calming surroundings circled in on itself until reaching the center of the garden. Kyrano had designed the garden and had placed a comfortable bench in the middle for any of the Island inhabitants to use when they were in need of peace and solitude. Jeff knew that each of his sons all had their own place to go to when needed but this had always been the perfect place for him.

The light scent of lavender mixed in with the other light scents of the various flowers reminded him of Lucy. And he realized that he came to this particular garden not only for its calming affect but also because it reminded him of her. The bench sat near a tree with the sunlight filtering through the leaves, casting a pattern of shadow and light.

Not one to give into thoughts of whimsy, Jeff couldn't help but think that the shadow and light represented his thoughts. The shadow represented his insecurities and fears that he'd not been as good of a father as he wanted to be. And the light represented his focus and drive that sometimes kept others from feeling the pain that he and his boys had felt when Lucy had died. As well as the pride he felt for each of his sons as they continued to achieve what they wanted in life.

Thinking about his sons reminded him of why he was out here and he again felt the pain in Virgil's whispered confession. "How could I have done that to my son? How could I have kept him from remembering his mother in the manner that meant the most to him? Holding his head in his hands, he didn't try to hold back the tears that pooled in his eyes. He could drop his guard here and let his emotions out.

Leaning back against the bench, his mind flashed with memories of Virgil. Glimpses of Virgil, with shoulders slumped, walking away from Lucy's piano. Snatches of conversations in which he forbade his son the things that brought him some happiness in the days, years after his mother's death. As bad as those memories were, they paled in comparison to all the times Virgil was ignored. The times that Jeff looked right over him but never failing to make eye or physical contact with his other sons. The tears he'd been holding back found the opening they needed and poured from his eyes.

Glancing towards the heavens, he spoke to the one he still missed even after all these years. "Lucy, how could I have done that to him? I neglected our son after you were taken from us."

Unobserved, eyes that held the wisdom of the ages watched as guilt, grief, and loss battered the man sitting on the bench. It was rare to see his employer...his friend drowning in his emotions but he also knew it was a long time coming and maybe some old ghosts could finally be laid to rest. Finally, unable to continue to observe one hurting as Jeff was, he approached him as he always did, quietly and with a refined demeanor borne from being a manservant for many years.

Silently, he moved closer to Jeff but stopped a few feet from him and turned away, as if not noticing the tears that still coursed down the broken man's face. Breathing in deeply, the heavenly scents surrounded him and he sighed. He leaned over one of the many flowers and carefully picked a single stem with a full blossom. Then in his quiet yet wise manner, he spoke. "Such a beautiful flower, is it not? One would not guess the difficulties that it faced growing here. Yet, through storms and high temperatures, it has bloomed into a colorful and hardy flower. Much like your sons, I would think, Mr. Tracy."

Jeff jumped slightly, wiping his face with a handkerchief that he had pulled from his pocket. "Ah, um, Kyrano, I didn't realize that you were here."

Casting his gaze towards the sunlight filtering through the leaves of the trees, Kyrano gave his friend the illusion of privacy so that he could gather himself. "There is much confusion, guilt, hurt, anger, and worry within the villa and within our hearts. Some of it old yet deeply buried. Whilst some manages to be old but drawn to the surface and in need of being faced. The rest will settle down in time. How you face each part determines how your family responds."

Gently holding the flower between his hands, his wizened face showed compassion and understanding. "Listen and grow and your sons will follow." Standing up, he turned to Jeff, "Continue to bury old wounds and the anger and hurt that each feels has the potential to destroy your life as you know it." Laying the flower down next to Jeff, Kyrano left as quietly and unobtrusively as he arrived. Jeff stared at the flower for a moment before picking it up. Studying it, he thought of the parallels that Kyrano had pointed out. And then he saw the flower as a symbolic representation of his family. His sons had matured into fine young men despite the loss of their mother. They overcame their grief and followed their heart as she would have wanted them to. Their grief was their shared adversity just as the flower and others like it overcame the weather extremes to flourish. Now was the time for Jeff to decide if he would continue to help his sons by correcting mistakes he'd made or letting them flounder and shoving their emotions deep within themselves.

Decisively, the self-made billionaire knew what needed to be done. Something he should have done years ago. "First things first, I'm going to have a long overdue chat with Virgil and then the others too. I owe them all an apology for everything that happened after Lucy died." Feeling more at peace then he had all day, he headed back into the villa and down to find his sons.

5…4…3…2…1…Thunderbirds are GO!

Showered and dressed, Alan left his room. He didn't want to put off talking to his next oldest brother. As if sensing this, Gordon suddenly appeared from outside. Stopping short of each other, the red haired brother stared at his younger blonde haired brother.

For a few moments before either spoke. Finally Alan broke the silence, "I'm sorry for yelling at you Gordon," he began.

Before he could say anymore Gordon jumped in, "its okay Al, you don't have to apologise."

Holding up his hand, Alan stubbornly shook his head. "Yes I do. I had no right to take my anger out on you. All you were doing was checking on me and I snapped at you."

"Seriously Al, it's okay. We're all a little stressed today and taking it out on each other," he said, remembering the run in with Scott earlier.

Not willing to be swayed from his argument, Alan shook his head again. "That's the problem, Gordy, we shouldn't be taking our anger out on one another. We're supposed to be working together to help Johnny."

Gordon nodded and then grinned at his younger brother. "So, why don't we be the first to stop it then? Prove we are actually the mature ones in this family."

Unable to keep from snickering, Alan shot an incredulous look at his prankster of a brother. "Man, you have got to stop breathing in the pool chemicals. There is no way that our brothers will ever see us as the mature people we are but as their little annoying brothers."

"You're probably right," said Gordon, slinging his arm around his brother. "But then we know better," he added with a grin. Alan couldn't help but return the ornery grin as he knew the moment that Gordon had slung his arm around him and grinned that someone was going to be tormented by the Terrible Two. That was just one reason why it was impossible for him to stay angry or even sad when Gordon was around. Well, not just him but their other brothers as well.


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer:** A new year and we can't claim ownership of the Tracys, IR, or the Thunderbirds. We can only continue to borrow them for our stories.

**A/N:** I've decided to finish this story instead of leaving it as it was. The rest of this story is being written in memory of Lissysue. Mystikstorm, a good friend of mine was kind enough to step in and help me torture John and the rest of the Tracys. Sam1

**Chapter 11**

Thinking on what his brother had said as he drifted back into a troubled sleep, memories flooded his dreams, showing him the truth of his brother's words.

_An excited young Virgil ran through the house, searching for his dad. Sliding to a stop just outside the kitchen door, he found him having a cup of coffee with Grandma. "Dad, Ms. Edwards said I have a good chance of winning the talent contest." He pulled out a chair and sat next to his father and proceeded to tell him what piece he'd chosen to play. "I know it's kinda old but I thought I'd play Moonlight Sonata. Mom really liked that and…" A fleeting look of sadness dimmed his exuberance before he sat up and determinedly continued. "And it was one of the last things she and I worked on." _

_"Mom, thanks for the coffee. I'd best get back to work and finish up the rest of that bid before tomorrow afternoon." Rinsing out his coffee mug, he barely glanced at his third born. "Make sure you write down when the rehearsals are so that we can make sure you have a ride home from school." With that, he walked out of the kitchen and headed to his home office. Once again, locking himself within and isolating himself from the emptiness he felt since Lucy died. Never once did he stop to think how much his actions hurt his sons. Especially Virgil, who had slumped in his chair, following his father's indifferent response. Jeff may have missed the tears that pooled in Virgil's eyes but Grandma didn't. Nor did the older brother in the hallway, observing his little brother's pain. Icy blue eyes flashed dangerously when his brother let himself be enveloped within their grandmother's arms. Stealthily, he moved away from the kitchen door and towards the stairs. _

_Muttering, he hurried up the stairs, ignoring his oldest brother. "Stupid…mean…not my brother…" Scott stared after his normally calm brother and felt a niggle of worry. Unfortunately, the Tracy family had also learned that beneath the calm exterior laid a fiery temper mixed with a formidable intelligence._

_With a shrug of his shoulders, Scott continued towards the kitchen only to come to a dead stop when he saw his middle brother being comforted by their grandmother. He'd only taken one step towards them when Grandma raised her eyes and gave a slight shake of her head. Melting back into the shadows of the hallway, Scott only caught a glimpse of the front door closing. "Oh, man, this can't be good." Hurrying towards the hall closet, he grabbed his coat. He slipped it on just as he reached the front door and attempted to follow his elusive and irate younger brother. After searching the front and side yards, he noticed the garage door wasn't completely shut. He peeked through the crack before going in. "Johnny? Are you in here?" He was met with complete silence that didn't deter or fool him for a moment. He knew just how sneaky his brother could be. "I know you're in here and I know you're angry at someone." Cautiously, he approached the space between their father's SUV and Grandmother's mini-van. "I also know that whoever you're angry at did something to Virgil. Grandma is taking care of it so you don't have to do whatever it is you're planning to do."_

_Sliding out of the shadows that had hidden him from Scott's view, John spoke, "He did it again, Scotty. He can't keep doing this to my little brother. I won't let him."_

His memories flashed forward in his dreams a few years…

_It had been three years since their mother's death and life moved on as intended. Scott had moved up to the high school, leaving Virgil and John in the middle school. The one thing that didn't change was Jeff's continued indifference to Virgil's accomplishments in both music and art. Nor had he really bothered to see his son. Sure they had dinners with the rest of the family. Went on vacations and such but he really never saw his son as his own person. Just a painful replica of Lucy. The indifference was a ongoing source of arguments between his mother and him. As well as the basis for many arguments and subtle disruptions such as flat tires…not one but all four. At the same time. Yet he was unable to prove that any of his sons were behind the subterfuge. Though he strongly suspected his quiet son. He'd noticed an icy glare being directed at him from his second born more than once. Usually, it was after he'd walked away from Virgil so that he could attend to business matters. _

_Active in the Arts Department at his school, Virgil auditioned for and was selected to participate in a musical at the high school. Even though Virgil had been on stage many times for recitals and such, he still battled nervousness. This time wouldn't be as bad because Cats was the chosen musical. He'd pretty much be unrecognizable…Until he started singing. The musical director had selected him to sing Memory along with the female lead. He managed to keep it from his family until opening night. It wasn't until he met up with them after the show that he realized that his dad hadn't come. His happiness deflated right before his brothers' eyes. His shoulders slumped in obvious dejection and his gaze focused on the floor. He never saw the sudden tenseness in his older brother's shoulders or the way his eyes flashed in anger. Granted, Grandma tried to make excuses for his father's absence but Virgil had heard it all before. Shrugging it off, he led the way to the parking lot. He wanted nothing more than to go home and hide in his room so that he could nurse his hurt feelings alone._

_A little while later, a lone figure sat next to his brother's closed bedroom door. Fists clenched in anger every time he heard a mumbled word or a hushed sob. He was old enough to know that his father tried to make it to as many sports games that he, Scott, Gordon, or Alan were in but when it came to going to anything that Virgil was in on stage he couldn't be bothered. It was then that he decided that flat tires weren't enough this time. This time his father had really hurt his brother and that was something that he would not tolerate under any circumstance. _

_He had gotten a bit cocky and Jeff found out just who was responsible for the subterfuge. It was bound to have happened sooner or later. He forgot just who he was messing with and the consequences he would face once he was caught._

Reluctantly, he was drawn from the dream state he'd been in to that period of time when the lines of consciousness and sleep blur. He lay there for a few moments before gradually letting his eyes open while trying to shove the blanket that covered him off. Then the panic set in. He couldn't move his arms or legs. Turning his head from side to side, he tried to see what was holding him down. Then something caught his wild gaze and his panic increased tenfold, setting alarms blaring as his heart rate and respirations increased.

"No, please go away." He fought against the restraints desperate to be free before he felt the icy tendrils of the shadows that were inching their way towards him. He knew they were eager to claim him after having been beaten back several times before. His frightened gaze locked on the shadow, he didn't hear or notice his youngest brothers run through the door. Nor did he hear their frantic attempts to calm him down. Suddenly, Gordon noticed how John's eyes seemed to dart between two shadowed areas of the infirmary.

Muttering to himself, "It's the shadows. That is what has him so freaked out." Snapping out of his self-directed monologue, he barked, "Alan, get the lights turned on full brightness now." Ever ready to argue, Alan was about to tell his brother off when he saw how Gordon was staring down at their big brother and then across the room. He hurried to the light switch and increased the brightness of the room. The shadows disappeared and almost instantly John began to calm down. Just as Jeff, Brains, Virgil, and Scott all ran into the infirmary.

All of them heard Alan question Gordon. "What the hell just happened?"

"It's okay, Johnny, they're gone," Gordon said, ignoring Alan. He lightly rubbed his brother's shoulders, trying to help calm him more. "They're not going to get you. Not while we're here and protecting you."

Some of the wildness in his eyes diminished as he looked up at his brother. "You won't let them take me away?"

"Never, brother mine, you belong right here with us," Gordon reassured him, seemingly oblivious of the confused stares he was getting from their family. The panic induced adrenaline slowly bled from his system and John gradually fell asleep again.

"Would you care to explain what the hell just happened here?" Jeff demanded.

He continued to rub his brother's shoulder while looking up at his father. "It was the shadows that had him freaking out, Dad." His eyes widened as he willed his dad to remember the shadows he had battled just after his hydrofoil accident and he'd developed an infection. An infection that resulted in a fever induced delirium.

"You think he's experiencing what you did?" Jeff asked, worried. He remembered all too well the terror in his son's eyes while a fever raged through his broken body.

"What? What do you think John's experiencing?" Scott demanded.

Swallowing hard, Gordon felt himself cringe as he remembered, "Remember right after my hydrofoil accident and I developed an infection?"

"Yeah but what does that have to do with John?"

"While the infection raged through my body, it caused me to suffer from fever induced delirium. I kept seeing shadows creeping towards me. Strangling me with their icy cold tendrils that snaked up my legs and around my chest." Shivering at the memory, he glanced down at his sleeping brother. "It was as if they were trying to pull me away from everyone I loved. That was…is my greatest fear, losing any of you. I guess that's Johnny's biggest fear, too." Brushing back his brother's sweaty hair, he almost whispered, "I won't let them take you, Johnny."

* * *

**A/N:** The part with Gordon realizing what John was seeing was Lissysue85's idea and she should be credited for it. sam1


	12. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer:** See the previous chapters because we still don't own them.

**A/N:** For those of you who don't know, I decided to continue this story just a day before finding out that Lissysue had passed away. Because she was a big part of us starting this story, I'm leaving it right here under lissam2. Mystikstorm has graciously been co-writing the last chapter and this one. She'll be collaborating with me until the story is finished. sam1

**Chapter 12**

Gordon sat as close to John's bed as he could, his hand resting on his sleeping brother's shoulder. "I'm right here, big brother. We're all watching over you, protecting you."

Leaning against the wall, Scott studied his second youngest brother. He knew that the prankster was big-hearted but watching him comfort their brother only served as a reminder just how close he and his brothers were. "Gordy, how come you never mentioned the…what did you call them? Shadows?"

Before he could answer, Jeff spoke up. "He did mention them to his therapist and to me at the time but only because I walked into his room during an episode." He walked over to his fourth born and placing his hand on Gordon's shoulder. "It took his nurse and I a lot of effort and cajoling to get him to see us and not the shadows."

Gordon looked up at his oldest brother. Scott could see, in those normally impish green eyes, a haunted look that he'd tried so hard to forget. In his mind's eye, he could see his baby brother broken and beaten in that hospital bed. The fear of losing him then suddenly overcame him and he felt himself sag against the wall.

"Whoa, Scotty." Warm hands gripped his shoulders, holding him up. Burnt-honey colored eyes locked onto cobalt blue eyes, searching for answers to questions that would never be spoken in front of their family. He briefly touched his forehead to Scott's, softly speaking, "Easy there, brother mine, Gordy's fine now." Glancing over his shoulder, he shrugged then smirked, "Well, as fine as our little brother can be. Between you and me, he's always been a bit off and not quite right." Both men chuckled and the moment passed. And any self-perceived weakness was deflected by Virgil's quick thinking.

Unbeknownst to either Virgil or Scott, their father heard and saw Virgil keep Scott from falling and help calm him with a simple touch and a bit of humor. Lucy had been like that. She had kept him grounded and calm when any of the boys had been hurt as children. A calming touch and a bit of laughter made things as right as they could be. Seeing Virgil care for Scott as Lucy used to though in a brotherly manner, reminded Jeff that he needed to talk to his middle son. "Virgil, may I have a word with you?"

Startled, Virgil looked over at his dad, "Um, yeah, sure, Dad." Gordon looked over at Alan while Scott looked at Jeff, confusion and worry in their eyes. It wasn't like their father to pull them from the infirmary when one of them was ill except when they had to be ordered to eat or sleep.

Jeff had walked to the door before realizing Virgil hadn't moved. "Virgil?"

"Um, you mean you want to talk now?" He asked, stuttering a little as he was wont to do when he was nervous. It was one of the things that he had never outgrown. Casting a nervous glance at his brothers, his gaze fell on John's sleeping form. "Dad, I probably shouldn't leave right now. In case John wakes up, you know? He may need something or Brains may need my help."

Upon hearing his name, Brains glanced up from the data pad in his hand. "I think I h-ha-have things c-co-covered, V-Virgil. I don't an-anti-expect him to w-wake soon."

Dejected, Virgil followed his dad out of the infirmary. He kept trying to think what he may have done or said that would have his dad wanting to talk to him in private.

"_Hmm, office? No, that would just make him feel threatened or as if he had to defend himself. Outside on the pool deck would be better, less threatening and a bit soothing with the sounds of the ocean,"_ Jeff thought. Leading the way outside, he spoke aloud, "Let's sit out here so that we can talk."

Virgil swallowed nervously, "O-okay, Dad." He still felt something was off but couldn't figure it out. He sat down in one of the chairs next to a patio table. "Um, what did you want to talk about?"

"Virgil, I…I overheard you talking to John earlier," he started, suddenly unsure. He noticed Virgil tense up in his chair. "Son, I realized today that I had managed to hurt you in a way that a child should ever experience. I can't make excuses for what I did after your mother died because there are none." At once, the great Jefferson Grant Tracy faltered. His eyes filled with hurt and regret and just a bit of self-recrimination. "I always thought that I managed to avoid playing favorites because I love all my boys but I failed…" The sudden blaring of the emergency klaxon drowned out whatever else he had to say and father and son ran towards the lounge.

Scott, Alan, Gordon, and Brains ran into the lounge just as Jeff took his desk, transforming the lounge into International Rescue's Base. "International Rescue, we need your help. Please answer us."

"International Rescue here, what is the nature of your emergency?" Jeff asked. His voice a bit gruffer than John's but no less calming in its directness. His sons and Brains waited for the caller to respond. Gordon had his watch near his ear listening for John in the infirmary.

"We've had a leak that has now been compounded by a fire at a nearby waste station."

"What kind of leak?" Jeff asked, jotting down notes as he listened.

"Nuclear. I'm a representative for Ontario Power Plant. We have employees trapped between the reactor and the fire."

Brains pulled up the coordinates and known specifics, sending them to both Thunderbird One and Two. Each of the four brothers took their places, waiting for their dad to give the word. "I'm sending help now." Muting communications between the representative and Base, Jeff looked at his boys. His grown up boys that had been his reason for carrying on after his beloved Lucy died. "Careful out there, boys. Thunderbirds are GO!"

* * *

"Thunderbird One to Thunderbird Two, what is your E.T.A?" Scott stared at the flickering flames in the evening sky. Rescue workers stood ready yet at a safe distance from the heat and flames.

A slight crackling sound and then, "Thunderbird Two to Thunderbird One, we're 3.9 minutes away. You should be hearing us soon. Coming in fast. Gords and Alan have already suited up and have everything ready to go." He stared in disbelief at the sight before him. "Oh shit," he breathed, forgetting that his dad and brothers could hear him.

"Language, Virgil," Jeff's disembodied voice warned.

"Yeah, language, big brother. You're setting a bad example for us young'uns." Gordon and Alan's laughter rang out briefly before they, too, forgot.

"Oh shit doesn't cover it, Virg." Gordon said. He quickly checked Alan's helmet, making sure that it was securely fastened and sealed to his suit. A thorough check showed that gloves and boots completely protected his baby brother. Alan returned the favor, making sure that his big brother was protected from any possible radiation leak. Scott stood outside the ramp, completely suited up as well. "Firefly, Scott?" Gordon asked through the mic within his helmet.

"Yeah, you drive. Alan and Virgil can tag-along until they get to the victims. You bring back the ones who can't walk. Virgil, Alan, you two guide the ones capable of walking back to the safe zone. Rescue workers are standing by to assist. Take some extra oxygen tanks and for my sanity, keep the damn things away from the flames. I don't need to hear another one explode. Gordon."

"I let one canister explode and you never forget," Gordon grumbled, smiling beneath the helmet hiding his face.

Virgil lumbered down the ramp, complaining. "Can't Brains make these a little less cumbersome? I feel like a beached whale." Scott quickly checked his brother over. In his haste and Virgil's squirming, he missed one vital detail. One that could possibly have unfortunate consequences for him.

"Stop complaining and grab a seat. We're going in," Alan said, clambering up on the Firefly. It seemed that time slowed as they made their way to the waiting victims. Virgil kept an eye on the radiation levels, knowing that this could soon become a recovery if the levels kept increasing.

"Mobile Control to Firefly, the victims should be just inside that door to your left."

"Firefly to Mobile Control, we're going in. All personal mics are open," Gordon replied. "C'mon, guys, let's go get 'em."

Virgil jumped down, wincing at the sudden heat. "Damn, it's hot." He followed his brothers into the building. Never once giving thought to the little trickle of cool air that hit his neck once they were in the building. Opening his mic, he called out, "Hello? We've been called in to help you?"

"OVER HERE!" The three brothers turned, hurrying towards the voice. The small office was crowded with five employees. "Are we glad to see you."

Going into total rescue mode, Virgil quickly appraised the two women and three men. "Are any of you hurt? Or unable to walk of your own accord?"

"I twisted my ankle running down some stairs to get in here," one man admitted. "I may need some help getting out of here."

Virgil knelt down next to the man, checking his ankle. "Yep, it's definitely swollen. I'm going to put a splint on it just in case it's worse than we think, okay?" His brothers handed each of the employees a small oxygen canister with attached respirator. "Are there any suits in here?"

"No, they're up on the next level," one of the women said.

"That's not good but here's what we're going to do. We're going to move it once we hit the door. Operative Five and I will help everyone who can walk out. While Operative Four drives him back to the rescue workers." He finished putting the splint on the man. "Now when I say we're going to walk out of here, I mean we're going to run as if the hounds of hell are nipping at our heels. The waste facility is on fire and that fire is threatening this plant just as much as the leak.

"Okay." The men and women all said. Their voices overlapping one another. Gordon wrapped his arm around the injured man and got ready to run. Everyone else fell in behind them.

Virgil brought up the rear. "Alright, Four, let's move it." The door clanged open, hitting the wall and they were all running. Alan led the workers away from the plant just as a deafening explosion rent the air. Debris and flames rained down behind them. The Firefly emerged from the destruction intact albeit streaked with soot and a bit banged up. Alan skidded to a stop, counting four victims as they ran by him.

"VIRGIL?" He yelled into his open mic. Hands clutched at his shoulders as he made to run back towards the plant. "LET GO! VIRGIL!"


	13. Chapter 13

**Disclaimer:** We still don't own them. Just borrowing them a while.

**A/N:** Word of warning, there is some cussing/swearing in this update. Sam1

**Chapter 13**

_Dark, cold shadows draped and slithered all around the chestnut haired man, desperate to keep him. Unconscious, he was defenseless and vulnerable to their slow approach. The only emotion felt was akin to excitement which doubled when another presence was felt. One that they knew well and had been deprived of more than once._

_Pushing past his fear, he stumbled over uneven ground, searching. Searching for someone dear to him. Someone he'd done his best to protect over the years. Fear be damned, he was not going to let his brother be taken by the shadows. Even if it meant sacrificing himself. "Virgil, where are you?" Silence met his cries. "You'd better answer me or I'm helping Gordon prank you." He tripped over a vine, falling into a small clearing. A bright blast of light dropped him to his knees. His hands tried desperately to shield his eyes that had slammed shut. Pain ripped through his body, forcing him to curl in on himself. "Not real. Not my pain." Darkness descended on the clearing but not before he got a glimpse of the shadows surrounding not only the still form that appeared before him but all around him. "VIRGIL!" Clawing at the ground, he dragged himself to his brother._

"VIRGIL!" Bolting awake, his gaze darted wildly around him as he fought against the restraints holding him down. "LET ME GO! I'VE GOT TO GET HIM!" He raised his head, muscles in his neck cording as he screamed and fought to get free. "DAMN IT, LET ME GO!" Alarms started blaring as his heart rate and respirations increased.

Startled, Brains looked up at the set of monitors in his small lab just outside the infirmary. Each of them blared as he glanced over at the monitor that showed John struggling on his bed. His yells muted on the monitor yet clearly displaying his agitation and…fear? Not for himself but Virgil? Perplexed and more than a bit worried that his friend would hurt himself, Brains ran out of his lab. Hurrying through the storage room that connected the infirmary and small lab, he stopped long enough to grab a syringe and a mild sedative. "W-why do they al-always do this? Hor-horri-bad patients."

Distracted from his futile attempts to break free of the restraints, John stared at Brains as he rushed into the room. "Brains, let me go. I have to get to him. Save him. I can't let them get Virgil. I have to get him first." His thrashings continued a moment later when he saw the loaded syringe in the genius' hand. "NO, no…please, don't …no more. I can't help Virgil if you…put me to sleep."

"V-Virgil is on a re-res-rescue, John. They got c-called out while you were sl-sle-resting."

"No, he's hurt…I saw him…he was lying on the…he was lying on the ground." Jerking his arms again, he clenched his hands. Never noticing the blood running down his hand and onto the bed and floor. "He…I got to save him…the shadows. The shadows were there…can't let him be taken. I can't lose my brother." Oblivious to the tears trailing down his face unchecked, he pleaded with Brains.

* * *

Focused on the rescue, Jeff had his hands full listening to his sons over their mics. It took him several long moments to recognize the alarms sounding from the infirmary. Donning a headset that would allow him to remain in constant contact with his sons at the rescue site, he ran for the infirmary. He slid into the infirmary, worry etched on his face.

John heard the doors hiss open and turned his head to see his dad. "Dad…make him let me go. I have to…I have to get him before…before it's too late. Don't let them take him…please, I can't…I can't lose anyone else…not another person I love."

"Take who? Who is going to take someone?" Confused, Jeff looked at Brains. He noticed the syringe in his friend's hand and shook his head slightly.

"The shadows…they're going to…take Virgil. I saw them…he's hurt and they're going to take him. Take him from us…from me."

Realization dawned on the Tracy patriarch and he calmly brushed his son's hair back. "Virgil is fine, John. He's out on a rescue with your brothers." Pulling up a monitor, he was able to connect the various mics in use as well as Mobile Control so that John could hear for himself that Virgil was okay.

"John, listen. He's fine and…" Virgil's voice came over the mic and they could hear sounds from the rescue.

"_Alright, Four, let's move it." A door clanged open, hitting a wall and sounds of people running. Then a deafening explosion rent the air. Several long moments later, Alan could be heard. "VIRGIL?" His voice tinged with panic. "LET GO! VIRGIL!"_

Sudden silence came crashing down on the two Tracys on Tracy Island before John screamed. "VIRGIL!" Fighting one last time against the restraints, his eyes suddenly rolled back in his head and he flopped to the bed unconscious.

Tapping the side of the earpiece he wore, Jeff snapped, "Base to Mobile Control, what the hell is going on out there?"

"Not a good time, Base. Will get back with you when I can, Mobile Control out," Scott said, tersely. His attention was focused on the rescue and getting his younger brothers home safely.  
Fighting against the arms holding him back, Alan screamed again for his brother. "VIRGIL!" Gordon suddenly appeared in front of him, giving him a brief shake. "Gordy, we have to go back. We can't leave him."

"We're not leaving him but rushing back in there half-cocked will get you hurt or killed. I need you to focus and stay with me. We're going back to get him but it's going to be hot and visibility is going to be limited."

Scott appeared beside them, handing over a collapsible stretcher. Signaling to his brothers to switch to private mics, he quietly gave them their orders. "Go get our brother. And be careful. I've got the victims and will get them to the triage area." The youngest Tracy brothers nodded and slipped off into the smoky haze that billowed around. The flames from the fires hissed angrily as firefighters pumped water around them.

"Look sharp, Al, he could be anywhere in…oomph." A slight thud followed by a curse, "Damn, that friggin hurt."

"Gords, are you okay?" Alan struggled to keep his fear for Virgil under wraps.

"Yeah, I tripped over…VIRGIL! Virg, can you hear me?" His questions were met with total silence. A gloved hand brushed over his protective suit. "Al, we're going to have to get him loaded up and out of here before we can check him over. He's already been down for about fifteen minutes." A semi-hysterical laugh bubbled up and out before he could control it. "The blast threw him off our path and this stupid, damn smoke hid him from us." Alan remained unusually quiet, listening to his next oldest brother's rant. He knew that it was only from nerves that he was rambling like this. "I've got the stretcher opened, help me get him loaded and secured." The two brothers worked together like the seasoned professionals they were. "Geez, Virgil, you need to lay off the desserts every once in a while. You're getting a bit heavy for us to be carrying you around when you go falling all over the place. Can't take you anywhere, can we?"

"Gordon, will you please focus on getting outta there?" Scott's authoritative voice cut through Gordon's idle chatter.

"Lay off, Scott. You know how he is when he's worried," Alan snapped. Worry and fear gave him more of an incentive to speak his mind and stand up for his closest brother. He and Gordon finished securing Virgil to the backboard and each grabbed an end. Working in tandem, they lifted their fallen brother and quickly yet cautiously walked out of the smoky area. Rescue workers and victims alike anxiously watched from the triage area for them to appear. A collective sigh could be heard as their figures were briefly seen before fading back into murkiness.

"Almost there, Al." Panting slightly, Gordon stared hard through the protective visor when something in his peripheral vision caught his attention. "Alan, we've got to run and I mean…MOVE YOUR ASS!" A hotspot had been hidden between the building and a small tank of some sort. Tendrils of flames lapped at the white coated tank, leaving black marks all over it. The sides of it heaved until another smaller yet no less destructive explosion pushed the three brothers up and away. Away from each other. Cries of horror sounded from those watching. But it was the oldest Tracy brother who watched in total terror as the bodies of his little brothers flew up in the air and then flop to the ground in three distinct heaps. Long moments stretched before anyone reacted only to stop again as two of the figures scrambled to their feet. In an almost panic, they glanced about for their fallen comrade. Several small fires enveloped the backboard that Virgil had been fastened on. Grabbing the small canisters of flame retardant from the utility belts they wore, Gordon and Alan quickly put out the fires. They carefully rolled the backboard over and breathed a sigh of relief to see Virgil still firmly secured. Picking up their precious cargo, they hightailed it out of the danger zone.

Scott met them as they fully emerged from the thick smoke. He looked them over as they all ran towards Thunderbird Two where a team of paramedics had run as soon as they saw Gordon and Alan emerge from the smoke. Gordon and Alan carefully set their back-boarded brother onto the gurney that the paramedics had had the foresight to bring with them. In shocked disbelief, they stared down at Virgil before the paramedics started snapping orders. "Get him to the ambulance now." One paramedic ran alongside the gurney, strapping Virgil to it. Another paramedic called into the hospital so that a team of doctors and nurses would be ready. "We're taking him to Sunnybrook Hospital. A top rated burn unit is located at that facility." Looking over at the three members of International Rescue, he asked, "Which one of you is riding with him?"

"Scott, you go. Alan can fly One and I can handle Two." With a quick nod, Scott ran towards the ambulance that Virgil had been loaded into.

Gordon quickly loaded and secured Firefly in Two while Alan broke down and loaded Mobile Control in the hold of Thunderbird One.

"Thunderbird One to Base, One and Two are leaving the rescue site. Virgil is enroute to a local hospital with a burn unit. Scott is with him," Alan said over the comm once they were heading home. Unable to talk, he cut communications and focused on flying. Not on the image in his head of the blood trailing down Virgil's face. Or the burns that showed through where his protective suit had been ripped and shredded from the two explosions. No, he couldn't think of that. He had to think of flying Thunderbird One and not the possibility that he could lose a brother.

Alone in Thunderbird Two, Gordon fought back the tears that threatened to fall as he flew his brother's 'bird home.


	14. Chapter 14

**Disclaimer:** A new year and neither of us can claim to own the Tracys, Thunderbirds, or International Rescue.

**A/N:** While we were writing this chapter, Mystikstorm thought that we should use this update to honor Lissysue. She loved her brothers, boyfriend, friends, life, and the Thunderbirds – thanks to her brothers making her watch them while growing up – and writing stories about them made her happy. I wrote her as the guardian angel I, along with some others, know her to be. And because I kept the tissues handy, I'm issuing a tissue warning for this one. Sam1 and Mystikstorm

**A/N:** Many thanks to those of you that have taken the time to read and review. We truly appreciate it. Angel-sue, thank you for your wonderful support. It has really helped me. sam1

**Chapter 14**

_Silently, she watched the fair haired man as he struggled to free himself. He clearly had no thoughts of the injuries he was inflicting upon himself. Her vision clouded as tears pooled in her gentle blue eyes. She longed to reach out to protect and soothe him. At once a strong tug pulled her to another location. Bringing her hand to her mouth, she gasped. A familiar chestnut haired man lay strapped down on a backboard. Blood trailed down the side of his face. A helmet lay discarded on the floor of the vehicle, its visor shattered. Whispered pleas reached her ears and her attention was drawn to another man, "C'mon, Virg, I need you to wake up. I can't handle another brother down right now. I need you…please, don't you give up. I'm ordering… (choked sob)…I'm ordering you to fight." _

_Tenderly, she reached out and her fingers skimmed along Virgil's face. A sudden sense of foreboding overcame her and she cast her gaze around those in the ambulance. In a corner, she noticed nothing more than a small shadow. A shadow that appeared to be stretching towards the unconscious man on the gurney. _

_She was almost instantly jerked back to the first room she'd been in. The sensitive yet fiercely protective man thrashed about on his bed…solely focused on saving his injured brother. _

* * *

Sirens blaring and lights flashing, the ambulance rushed to the hospital. The paramedics keeping the waiting medical team updated. "Requesting that security be standing ready as well. We're coming in with a VIP. Possible exposure to radiation. Protective gear has been rendered less than effective. Visible head injury. Second and third degree flash burns estimated at five to six percent on the anterior thorax. Less than one percent on the neck and face."

Scott listened to the report being called in over the radio and felt his worry for Virgil increase. It was bad enough seeing him lying unconscious and obviously injured but to actually hear everything listed had Scott fearing for his younger brother's life. His gaze settled on his brother once again.

"Sir, we're here."

It took the paramedic to lightly touch his arm before Scott realized that they had stopped and the doors were thrown open. Several members of the waiting medical team – completely covered in protective gear - pulled the gurney out and whisked Virgil away from him. Startled by the suddenness of his brother being taken away from his sight, Scott jumped down from the ambulance and jogged after them. He caught a glimpse of Virgil's boot-clad feet before the doors to a closed off isolation trauma room slammed shut. Determined to stay by his closest brother's side, Scott made to follow only to find his way blocked by a nurse. "I'm sorry, Sir, but you can't go back there."

He stared down at the seasoned nurse and tensed up, "I have to be in there with him. I've always been at his side when he's been hurt." Stepping to the side, he tried again to follow.

Gentle yet firm hands met his chest and he stopped again. "Sir, you cannot go back there. You need to scrub down."

Scott looked down at the protective suit he wore and realized he was still fully suited up.

The nurse could see that he was torn between the need to be with his teammate and his training to follow safety standards. "Sir, I'll personally make sure that you're kept up-to-date on your teammate."

With a weary sigh, Scott's shoulders drooped and he nodded. "Thank you." He followed her to another isolation room so that he could be scrubbed down. Once he'd scrubbed down and shed the suit, he was led to a private waiting room. A small room in which he paced back and forth, waiting for an update. And wishing for a cup of coffee. Thinking of coffee had him thinking of…"Was it really just yesterday morning that John came home?" Sinking down onto a small couch, he rubbed his eyes.

* * *

To the untrained eye, the trauma room looked like a chaotic mess. Voices overlapped as various jobs were done. The anesthesiologist monitored the patient's vitals as well as standing by to administer any anesthetic agents. Doctors converged on their patient, doing their best to save one of the members of International Rescue. Nurses hung and administered IV fluids and antibiotics as ordered by the doctors. One kindly nurse gently wiped the dried blood from Virgil's face so that they could determine where he was bleeding from.

"Respirations are dropping," the anesthesiologist called out. The doctors glanced up at the monitors just as the patient before them coded. A cacophony of noise erupted as alarms blared from the monitors and the chaos in the room intensified. None of those present noticed the figure standing near the head of the cart. No one stopped her from reaching out a slim hand to softly touch the pale face before her. As she made contact with his cool skin, she was transported to a cold, dark world.

"_You can't have him. I won't let you take him from us." Following the voice, she glided out to a small clearing. Shadows slithered about from the murky forest surrounding the clearing. The blonde haired man stood next to a figure lying on the ground. "He's my little brother. It's not him you want anyway. It's me you've been after. Take me then just leave him alone." As soon as he offered himself, the shadows converged on him. They took him to the ground, completely covering him as his screams echoed through the clearing. _

* * *

A/N: The next update will be up within the next few days as it is mostly written.


	15. Chapter 15

**Disclaimer:** See previous chapters because we get too depressed admitting that we still don't own them every chapter.

**A/N: **Thanks to everyone who have continued to follow this story. Big thanks to everyone who continues to review, we really appreciate it. Mystikstorm and sam1

**Chapter 15**

"Mr. T-Tracy, I've ma-mana-stopped the bleeding. I think it b-b-best to close the wound with s-s-sutures," Brains said.

Jeff looked up at the younger man, "You don't think he'll rip them out in his delirium, do you?"

Brains shook his head, "No, I w-w-will make sure to w-wrap it well." At Jeff's nod, he picked up a syringe that he'd loaded with a local anesthetic and injected it into several places around the open wound on John's hand. Once he was satisfied that the hand was properly numbed, he set about to close the wound with sutures. Several sutures had been placed when John suddenly began to seize. His body pulled against the restraints that were still fastened around his wrists and ankles. One last violent tremor ripped through his body before going completely limp.

_The dank atmosphere caused him to shiver as he glanced around. The place felt familiar though it frightened him. He knew he'd been here before…Virgil. The last time he was here, Virgil had been here, too. His brother had been unconscious and…Where the hell was he? It was too quiet except for the harsh sound of his breathing. He took a few tentative steps towards a somewhat lighter area before stopping again. Cocking his head, he listened carefully and realized he heard a choked gasp. As if someone was struggling to breathe. Instinctively, he knew that Virgil was that someone. Years of training had him running - in what he hoped was the right direction – to help his younger brother. Stumbling out into the clearing, he fell over a supine form lying on the ground. Even in the dim light, he could see his worst nightmare and fear slithering over Virgil's arms and legs. It was obvious they were holding him down. The gasping sounds grew softer and fewer between. That's when John noticed that one of the shadows had draped itself over the younger man's forehead, keeping him from moving his head. "Get away from him." John's voice created a frenzy for it was the older Tracy that the shadows had tried and failed to claim. Before him it had been the one who'd been critically injured in an accident. _

"_You want me, then you let him go." The shadow holding Virgil's head inched its way towards John. Immediately, Virgil turned his head and what he had been choking on spewed out in a rush. Before he could take a breath, he felt his upper body being raised and a warm figure supported him. He sucked in great deep breaths and shifted his gaze about until it landed on the squirming, writhing mass of darkness that was converging on his brother...JOHN? The last thing he saw of his older brother was a sad smile and then he was enshrouded by the shadows. They had finally claimed the one they sought. John's screams were abruptly cut off as a legion of shadows took him down to the ground. _

"_NO!" Virgil's body shook due to the combination of fear, horror, and the dank atmosphere. The warmth at his back slowly registered and he glanced over his shoulder. The blonde haired young woman stared back at him with tears in her soft blue eyes. Blue eyes that he had a feeling at times had been lit with love and laughter and more than just a bit of cheekiness. He felt that he knew her. "Who are you?"_

"_I guess you could call me your guardian angel as I've been looking after you and John since you tried to save me. Before I passed away, you held my hand and comforted me."_

"_Kerrie?" _

"_You remember?"_

_Virgil nodded, "John and I…we tried so hard to save you but…but we couldn't." _

"_It was my time to go. But it's not yours or John's time to go yet." Suddenly, Virgil was sitting up on his own and Kerrie approached the mass. Leaning over, she reached through the shadows and pulled. A low whining sound reverberated within the clearing. She ignored it even as it increased in pitch and Virgil clapped his hands over his ears and his eyes scrunched closed. It wasn't until he felt himself being lifted off the ground that he opened his eyes. Then he found himself in a tight hug and he dropped his hands from his ears. Almost instantly, he was hugging his older brother just as tight._

"_John? Oh my god, is it really you?" Kerrie stood off to the side, a small smile on her lips. Her work was done for now. Though she knew that her role as the guardian angel to the two men before her would be a full-time endeavor. And just as she had in life, she would give every bit of herself to see that it was done. _

_Fading from view, she called out, "You must both wake now."_

_Thousands of miles apart, two brothers opened their eyes much to the relief of those near them._

* * *

"Sir, I have an update on your teammate."

Jumping slightly, Scott stood up, "Is he okay? How bad are his injuries?"

Stepping back, she looked up at him. "He's holding his own. He gave us quite the worry once but he's resting peacefully now."

"What do you mean he gave you quite the worry? What the hell happened?" His questions shot off in rapid succession.

"We didn't know how bad the head injury was and since he had burns on his body, he was lying on his back. Nor did we know the level of radiation poisoning. Your teammate coded on the table due to asphyxiation. He'd gotten sick and with him being unconscious and lying on his back, he choked on it."

"Radiation poisoning? He was in a full protective suit. He shouldn't have had any exposure."

"If it had been fastened correctly and not torn or busted up as the helmet was, then he wouldn't have had any exposure. It was found that a fastening around his neck had been overlooked. As it is he only has a mild case of radiation poisoning. The doctor will be with you in just a bit so that he can fill you in on the rest." Quietly, she walked out, closing the door softly behind her.

"_A fastening around his neck overlooked? I double-checked him myself," he thought to himself. "Oh god, did I miss something?" _Something told him that he had indeed had missed one of the fastenings. Weakly, he sank down on the couch, blaming himself for causing his younger brother any kind of pain or sickness.

* * *

"Thunderbirds One and Two to Base, requesting permission to land." Alan's disembodied voice startled Jeff from where he was sitting next to John.

"Base to Thunderbirds One and Two, you are clear for landing," he said just as his watch started flashing. Quickly pushing a button, the watch face showed Scott's face. "Scott, what is going on? Where is Virgil?"

"Dad…he's got… radiation poisoning," he managed to say, the guilt he felt eating at him. "The doctor is still with him but a nurse came in and updated me. He's got second and third degree flash burns on his face, neck, and upper body." Jeff watched as Scott shifted his gaze and he could feel the cold tendrils of fear clutching at him. It had taken a moment for Jeff to comprehend what Scott had said about radiation poisoning.

"RADIATION POISONING? Jeff exclaimed. "No, my boy…no." He shook his head in denial. Just how much more was he supposed to take? First John and now Virgil. Hadn't his family suffered enough when Lucy had died?

Scott swallowed nervously several times before brokenly speaking, "He coded on them, Dad. They don't know if it was the radiation poisoning or the head injury that had caused him to asphyxiate when he got sick...nobody knew that he'd gotten sick because he was lying on his back." His hand swiped over his eyes, wiping away the tears he didn't want anyone to see. "We almost lost him because of me." He abruptly cut the communication before he could see the blame in his dad's eyes.

Perplexed, Jeff stared down at his watch, "What the hell is going on? Did I hear what I thought I did?" He replayed the short conversation in his mind and then it dawned on him that his sons would no doubt be heading to the infirmary once they had completed post-flight checklists. Tapping the earpiece, he ordered, "Gordon and Alan, don't come into the house until you have scrubbed down. You might have been exposed to radiation."

"Already ahead of you on that, Dad. We've already got both 'birds programmed to decontam once we clear out," Gordon said. "Has Scott called in to update you on Virgil?"

"He just called in. Virgil was diagnosed with a mild case of radiation poisoning along with a head injury and second and third degree burns," Jeff answered. "No more questions. Just get scrubbed down and get something to eat."

"FAB." The two brothers worriedly set about doing as they were told. Worry gnawing at them as their imaginations ran wild.

"V-Virg…safe…" Jeff hurried back over to his second-born's bedside. John turned his head, groggily gazing at his father. "Wh-what happened?" Jeff could see the confusion in his son's flushed face. He reached out and felt John's forehead, wincing at the warmth.

"You had a seizure then you fell unconscious." Brushing back his son's sweat-soaked hair, he asked, "Do you know where you are?"

His mind was a jumbled mess and he struggled to figure out what was real and what had been a dream. "Home?" He weakly turned his head, shifting his gaze as if he were searching for someone. "Where...where did Virg and that girl go?" He tried to bring his hand to his head only to find that he couldn't move. Shifting his gaze to his arms, he noticed the restraints. "How come I'm strapped down?"

"You're at home. We brought you straight to the infirmary after we brought you back from Five. Don't you remember Alan, Brains, and I coming up to get you?" John shook his head. "You missed your call in time and then we couldn't get you to respond to our frequent attempts to call you. Alan found you in the sleeping quarters bundled up in a comforter. You had a high fever and were suffering from hallucinations." Placing his hand on his son's shoulder, he continued, "We had to restrain you because in your delirium, you were aggressive and fought against us. We were worried that you would further injure your hand."

His father's words barely registered as he continued to look about for Virgil and that blonde haired young lady. "Dad, where are they? Where is Virgil and that girl?"

Brains and Jeff looked at one another confused, "What girl, Son? You know the only girl on the Island is TinTin. And Virgil is a patient at a hospital in Canada."

"No, I saw her, Dad. She had blonde hair. Maybe a little younger than Gordon." Agitated, he pulled on the restraints. "I've got to save her this time. We couldn't before but I have to this time."

Lightly gripping his son's shoulders, Jeff raised his voice to be heard over John's, "Son, there is no girl on this Island aside from TinTin. Please, calm down before you hurt yourself."

"She was real, Dad. I saw her...she held Virgil and then she saved me from the shadows. She pulled me up so that I wouldn't be alone anymore. I'd be with you and the guys. I don't want to be alone..." He turned his watery gaze up at his dad. "You came to get me? You didn't leave me this time?"

Gathering his precious son in his arms, he soothed him, "No, Son, I didn't leave you. And no matter what, when, or where, I will always come to get you."

His tears dampened Jeff's shirt yet neither wanted to let go right away. Then John asked, "Why am I in here? Why can't I sleep in my room?"

Brains answered before Jeff could. "You ha-have a fever a-and I need to m-monitor you. Do you re-remember cutting your hand? Or wh-what you cut it on?"

John glanced down at his right hand and for the first time noticed the white dressing that had been wrapped around it.

"I cut my hand while working on a project. Then a call came in and I didn't have time to clean it." Thinking hard, he frowned, "I started to feel sick not long after that. I just thought I had a bug of some sort."

Shaking his head, Jeff sighed, "John, you know the rules…any kind of injury must be reported especially one made with a sharp object." John rolled his eyes, feeling for all the world like a ten-year-old being chastised. Jeff had turned his attention to Brains and didn't see the eye roll but that didn't stop him from saying, "And don't roll your eyes at me, young man."

Brains chuckled at the incredulous expression on John's face as he set about removing the restraints. He quickly took John's temperature and was pleased to see that it was very slowly returning to normal. "Y-you should be out of h-h-here soon."

"Tomorrow?" Even he heard the slight whine in his voice and huffed, sulking. "Hate being in here."

"We'll s-see," Brains answered, unwilling to be held down to a set time frame. He knew that as soon as he did, John would be trying to leave.

Chuckling, Jeff patted his shoulder, "Guess you'll follow protocol next time." He struggled to keep from laughing at his adult son's pouting expression. "Who am I kidding? We all know that when it comes to "small" injuries, none of you listen. All of you are stubborn. Must have inherited that trait from your mother."

A blond eyebrow raised, "Pot calling kettle, Dad." He fought to keep his eyes open as he suddenly found himself to be exhausted. "Where are the guys?" The infirmary doors slid open and Gordon and Alan hurried to their older brother's bedside.

"Hey, Johnny," Alan said.

Gordon was a bit more hesitant as he'd been on the receiving end of one of John's volatile outbursts.

John noticed his brother's hesitancy and wondered what had caused it. "Gordon?"

Alan shoved his next oldest brother. "He isn't going to bite you. Right, John?"

Suddenly, John had a strange feeling that he'd snapped at his younger brother in his delirium. "Did I say anything out of line to you, Gordon? I don't really remember anything. I just get a snippet of various things that were said or done."

"It's not important," Gordon answered. "I was just worried that your head was going to twist around and that you'd start spewing green gunk." Alan sniggered at Gordon's comment while Jeff and Brains shook their heads. Giving up the struggle to stay awake, John let the pull of healing slumber take him.

* * *

Settled in a private hospital room, burnt-honey brown eyes slowly opened. "J-Johnny?" His pained gaze tediously swept the bland room. His next oldest brother nowhere to be seen. "W-where…am I?"

"You're in the hospital, Virg." Scott leaned over so that his brother could see him. Then, before he could stop them two tears slid from his eyes. "Don't you ever scare me like this again?"

Confused, Virgil stared up at him, "Scotty, w-what happened? Wh-where's Johnny?"

Now it was Scott's turn to be confused, "Johnny? He's at home. Remember? We were called out on a rescue and you were caught in an explosion…twice. Gordy and Al, pulled you out before the second explosion caught the three of you." Turning his head, he felt the guilt creeping over him again.

"Scott?" Struggling to sit up, he gasped as he became more aware of the pain on face and neck. As well as the pain scattered about his chest. His head was pounding mercilessly. "Are…are they o-okay?"

"They're fine. A little banged up but nothing that needed medical attention." Standing up, the oldest Tracy brother paced the length of the room. "I'm so sorry, Virgil. I won't blame…" His breath hitched a little before he steadied himself, "I wouldn't blame you if you hated me now."

"Hate you? Why would I ever hate you?"

Scott paused at the foot of his brother's bed, "You were exposed to radiation. Because of me, you suffered a mild case of radiation poisoning." Struggling to maintain his composure, he cracked and stifled sobs burst out. "You…you coded…you…oh god, I…we almost…lost you."

His head hurt and he ached all over but it was seeing his big brother breakdown that hurt him the worst. "Not your fault. I could never hate you. You're my big brother and closest friend." Sinking back against the pillows, he winced again.

"I don't know what I'd have done if I lost you," Scott said softly.

"Johnny and Kerrie saved me," Virgil muttered, sinking back into the pain-free darkness. A darkness that held no ominous shadows. His eyes fluttered shut and his body relaxed.


	16. Chapter 16

**Disclaimer:** We don't own them nor can we ever claim to. Darn our luck.

**A/N:** Silver Bee, sorry for the delay in getting this posted but RL had me a bit busy. Better late than never, right? CC, Angel-Sue76, Loopstagirl, vulcangirl1983, diff-r-ent-1, Silver Bee, and Math Girl...thanks so much for the reviews and continued support for this story. You guys rock! *shrugs* yeah, I know that is a bit dated. Oh, and just so everyone is forewarned, there is some cussing in this update. Sam1 and Mystikstorm

**Chapter 16**

Two days later, Jeff was alone in the infirmary with John. He was still running a fever though it wasn't as high as it had been. Just high enough that Brains made him stay and continue with IV antibiotics. There was just enough worry about him relapsing that Jeff had decided to stay with his second-born. He had decided to let Scott stay with Virgil whilst Virgil was a patient at a hospital in Canada.

Scott had been keeping Jeff updated on Virgil's condition. Virgil, himself, had even managed to talk to his dad for a short while to reassure Jeff that he was sore but doing well all things considered. Even John had been able to speak with his next youngest brother much to his relief. What he really wanted was to sit down and really talk to him. He loved each of his brothers but for some reason, he just felt a stronger connection to his chestnut-haired brother. Maybe it stemmed from the protectiveness John had felt for him after their mother had died. Or maybe it was something more. Whatever the reason, he just knew that he needed to talk.

Father and son seemed content to just enjoy the quiet view from the oversized windows that overlooked part of the pools and the ocean. However, Jeff had more than the view on his mind and it was with a bit of hesitancy that he finally spoke, "John, I think I owe you an apology." Jeff fiddled with a corner of the sheet that covered his son. It was a more than a little disconcerting for him to be so unsure of himself. Yet, he knew that his quiet son could hide his emotions better than any of the others.

John stared up at him curiously, "Why would you need to apologize?" Jeff couldn't keep from noticing the dullness in his son's normally clear blue eyes. The fever cast redness to his cheeks. Even though the worst seemed to be over, he still slept a lot. Amazingly, he didn't pester Brains about leaving the infirmary too much.

"Because I wasn't there for you after your…After your mom died. Scott was only ten-years-old and you were only a couple of years younger and I pulled away from you. I didn't just pull away from you but your brothers as well. Your mom meant so much to me that I wasn't sure how I could manage to go on without her. What I didn't see right away was that I had five of the greatest gifts our love had given me. You and your brothers were my reason to go on." Jeff paused for a moment and glanced down at John.

John stared up at his father; a myriad of emotions crossed his face. "You thought you'd lost your reason for living?" He raised the head of his bed a bit so that he could meet his dad's eyes better. "We lost Mom, too, but you didn't see us hide away from each other. You left the five of us to deal with our loss on our own. And you made promises you made no effort to honor after telling us that a man was only as good as his word. Hell, Dad, you made a promise to me when I was eight-years-old that you never kept. Night after night, I snuck out of bed and sat in Mom's chair, waiting for you to read to me. To have some father/son time. You knew how much it meant to each of us to have some time with just you. Or with Mom before she died." Taking a deep breath, his normally calm blue eyes turned icy, "But what you did to Virgil was far worse. How the hell could you have done that to him? I hated you for hurting him. Every time he reached out to you, you ignored him. Damn it, Dad, how could you do that to my little brother? Have you ever even apologized to him? Have you any idea how much he still hurts? Sure, he's managed to hide it from everybody but I know. I know how much you hurt him because I heard him crying in his room every friggin' time you walked away from him." His voice cracked as his anger and hurt from all those years ago erupted in a spectacular tirade that Jeff would surely never forget. "How the hell did you not see what you were doing to him? Didn't you even care or were you so wrapped up in grieving for Mom that you didn't give a damn about anything but her damn pictures? Did staring at her pictures night after night bring you as much comfort that a hug from Virgil might have done? I'll tell you something right now; I hated you so much for what you did to him that I made sure that life was as irritating for you as I could. I was the one who removed the stems from the tires on the SUV. I was the one who dipped your toothbrush in vinegar and hand soap. Every inconvenience you encountered was always done by my hand."

Jeff stared incredulously at his quiet son and he felt the rage that had been bottled up for too many years radiating from him. Unfortunately, Jeff had a stubborn and fierce temper as well and he demanded that his offspring show him respect at all times. "I think that's enough, John. I won't tolerate you or your brothers taking that tone with me."

Pushing himself up more, forgetting that his right hand was still very sore and tender. He gasped, falling back against the mattress. "No, Dad, I've kept my mouth shut for too long and you're going to listen. You demand respect from each of us but you conveniently forget to give us the respect we deserve. You're not always in control of everything and everyone. Some of us are more than able to take on the great Jefferson Grant Tracy." Son stared at father and father stared back at son. Both angry but for different reasons. John had every right to be angry as he was in the right. Jeff was angry because everything John was saying was more or less right.

"Son, you are way out-of-line right now. I'll allow that some of it may be due to your fever and such."

A harsh laugh burst from John's mouth. "Out-of-line? Oh, that is too funny. What was out-of-line was for you to promise to attend one of Virgil's recitals. Or one of the art showings that a painting or portrait he had done was on display. Or failing to attend the musical in which he was a supporting cast member who got to sing "Memory" with the female lead. Do you even realize now just how much you missed of Virgil's childhood? Scott and I noticed that you always made time to show up for our games or meets but you never did for Virgil. It was the two of us who made sure that he always had someone cheering him on. Showing him the support that should have been coming from you. You owe him, Dad. You owe him big."

Having heard the raised voices coming from the infirmary as they approached the door, Alan and Gordon opened the door and quickly entered. The first thing they noticed was Brains standing near the door to storage room. His eyes widened as John and Jeff continued their tirade against each other. The next thing they noticed was how red John's face was and how fast he was breathing. They also noticed the way their father had clenched his teeth and his eyes were a stormy grey. A sure sign that he was angry and getting angrier. Glancing at each other, they shrugged their shoulders. "Hey, what's all the yelling for?" Gordon asked, looking at both his dad and John.

"This doesn't concern you, Gordon. You and Alan can go prep Tracy 1 for flight. I'll be leaving shortly to pick up your brothers," Jeff said, his hard stare never shifting from John's icy gaze.

"Again, the lord and master dictates instead of asking politely," John snapped. "Don't you ever think that maybe we're tired of being ordered around? We're not just your sons but adults. Here is a novel idea, why don't you show us the respect we have earned and deserve?"

Not known for his calm approach to anything when his family was at odds, Alan snapped, "What the hell is going on in here? John, you need to calm your ass down before you have another seizure and land yourself a few extra days in here. Dad, you need to back off a little and get out of his personal space. It seems to me that you're both acting like little spoiled brats."

Gordon stared in awe at his baby brother before grinning, "Yeah, I happen to agree with him. Dad, you've always told us that nobody listens when everyone is yelling. Doesn't that apply to you and John?"

Glaring at his second youngest son, Jeff growled, "I believe I told you to do something."

"No, let them hear what's going on, Dad. Let's see if I just imagined everything you did to Virgil from the time Mom died until you finally got your head out of your ass." Sneering, he added, "Great thing to show us…if you don't like it, hide and it'll all be better."

"THAT'S ENOUGH!" Jeff roared. "I won't tolerate this any longer."

Determined and just as angry, John forced himself to sit up. Swinging his legs over the side of the bed, he made himself stand on weak legs. "Yes. You. Will," he shot back, emphasizing each word. "The only way we're going to get through this is to finally face up to it. I've held my mouth shut for far too long and I am not willing to do it anymore. Not at the expense of my brother. Any of my brothers." His eyes widened in fear, reaching out to his father, he managed to stutter, "D-Da-Dad."

From his vantage point, Brains spotted the trembling in John's body mere moments before the he fell against the bed before falling to the floor. His body jerking uncontrollably as he stared up at his dad and brothers. Before any of them could react, his eyes rolled back in his head. Unconscious, his body continued to convulse for what Gordon and Alan thought was an eternity but in reality was only a few more seconds.

Jeff dropped to his knees, cradling his son's body against him. "Johnny, it's going to be okay." Burying his face in John's blond hair, his words were muffled but Gordon and Alan heard them, "I may not have been there for you and your brothers when you were young children and teenagers but never once did I ever not love you or your brothers. I know my actions hurt Virgil and that I can never erase what I did but I love my son. I love all of my sons more than anything in the world."

"Dad, we need to get him up and back in bed so that Brains can check him over," Alan said, gently squeezing his father's shoulder.

Struggling to his feet, Jeff managed to lift his precious boy to the bed and carefully lay him down. He noticed the wide-eyed looks his youngest sons were giving him and he gave them a half-smile, "It was easier when he was smaller."

"Dad, we could have helped you lift him," Gordon gently admonished.

Patting his prankster son on the back, "I know but…this was my fault. I needed to hold him."

"Ahem, Mr. T-Tracy, his te-temp-fever is elevated again. Most l-likely due to h-his outburst," Brains explained, carefully checking over his patient and very stubborn friend. Sighing, he resignedly removed the dressing that was wrapped around his hand.

"What's wrong, Brains? Why are you taking off the dressing?" Alan asked.

"I t-think he pulled the s-su-sutures when he was s-seizing." Unwrapping the last of the dressing and exposing the wound, he sighed again. "If h-he keeps t-this up, it's n-n-never going to heal." He applied pressure to stop the bleeding. "Gordon, w-w-would you get me—"

Gordon finished the scientist's request, "A suture kit and more dressing." He hurried to the storage room and grabbed the requested items. Handing them over to Brains, he glanced down at his older brother's still form. "You really are a stubborn ass, Johnny. You've been warned how many times that you can't get up on your own yet?" Catching his only younger brother's eye, he nodded towards their father.

"Dad, why don't we go up and get something to drink whilst Brains takes care of John," he suggested.

Shaking his head, he started to refuse, "I can't leave him right now."

Quietly, Kyrano stepped up next to his friend, "Come now, Mr. Tracy, you need a moment to calm your nerves and center yourself." Much to the surprise of the three younger men, Jeff allowed him to guide him out of the infirmary.

"How the heck does he do that?" Alan asked.

Gordon shrugged his shoulders, "He just seems to know when he's needed and 'poof' there he is."

Alan shook his head, "Not that. How does he manage to get Dad to calm down?"

"Experience, "Brains suggested. "He's g-got more ex-experience calming y-your father."

The Terrible Two grinned at one another before Gordon quipped, "And you've got more experience dressing that same cut on John's hand. How many times now have you had to clean, flush, suture, or dress that hand?"

Brains shook his head, "Too m-many times. Your b-bro-John is a pain-in-the r-r-rear when he's h-hurt or ill." The three men allowed themselves a slight chuckle over his very accurate description of John.

"Not…that bad." His voice soft, he wearily struggled to open his eyes. "Wh-What happened?"

"You decided to ignore Brains' orders to stay calm, dumbass." Alan smacked his next oldest brother upside his head. "What was that for?" Rubbing his abused head, he glared at him.

"For calling him a dumbass." Alan took his only blond brother's uninjured hand, "You had another seizure, Johnny."

He closed his eyes for a moment before glancing around the room. "W-wasn't Dad…here?"

"Kyrano took him upstairs so that Brains could make sure that you hadn't hurt yourself worse," answered Alan. He lightly squeezed John's hand. "That was some display of temper, Johnny. What the heck were you and Dad arguing about?"

John stared up at his youngest brother, confused and unsure of what he was talking about. "Dad and I w-were arguing?" His blue eyes showed his confusion and more than a little fear. "I don't re-remember...we were enjoying the view. I think."

"It's n-no-normal to suffer some c-confusion and m-memory loss after a s-seizure," Brains said, noticing John's fear.

More perceptive than he let on, Alan quietly excused himself and left the infirmary. _"Man, do I have the most stubborn family." _

* * *

In the lounge, Kyrano led his friend to one of the two couches. "Brains will see to it that Mr. John is taken care of medically. Mr. Gordon and Mr. Alan will ensure that their brother is looked over and protected. Such as each of your sons have always done."

"They have always been that way but when did it become such," he paused a moment, searching for the right words, "Such a habit for them? John is right; I left them to deal with the loss of their mother on their own." Smiling sadly up at his friend, Jeff sighed, "My boys did better with their grief and healing than I did."

"Mr. Tracy, it is no good for you or your sons to continue with the regrets and would-haves. They are a waste of your emotion and energy. It is far better to focus on what can be done to begin to repair and heal the hurt and anger that each is feeling. Mr. John seems to have chosen to let go of the hurt and anger he had buried for all these years. It may have been done in another manner. One that was less critical and more constructive but the end result would have been the same. He has let go of some of that anger even if he is not yet aware of it." Placing a calming and reassuring hand on Jeff's shoulder, he continued, "Maybe it is time for you to stop punishing yourself as well and talk to your sons. For all their independent ways, they are your sons and they look up to and respect you, Mr. Tracy. Show them the respect they have earned and you may be surprised at how easy it will be to let go of those bad memories and regrets."

It could never be said that Jeff Tracy didn't meet any challenges head-on after he'd overcome the grief he'd experienced after Lucy died. In the infirmary, he had a very head-strong challenge to face. "I need to speak with John. He has made some very valid points and I will own up to my mistakes."

"Remember, Mr. Tracy, "Listen and grow and your sons will follow." With a slight bow, he backed out of the room and bumped into Alan. "I apologize Mr. Alan for not being aware of my surroundings."

"No worries, Kyrano. It takes more than a little bump to hurt me. Remember that I'm the youngest of five extremely competitive brothers." Looking around for a moment, he continued, "Kyrano, is Dad okay? He and John were really tearing into one another."

Before Kyrano could reply, Jeff stepped out of the lounge. "I'm fine, Alan. What are you doing up here? I thought you were with John."

"I was but he…Dad, I really think that he wants you but is afraid to ask because he can't remember what you and he were arguing about. The last thing he remembers is looking out the windows with you. Brains said that it's normal for those who suffer seizures to have some confusion and memory loss after an episode." He shrugged and looked up at his father. "Dad, I think that he needs reassurance from you that everything is going to be okay. I know he's frightened and that is not something I'm used to seeing in my big brother's eyes."

"I was heading back to the infirmary. Would you and Gordon be willing to go get Scott and Virgil? As much as I want to see how Virgil is doing, I really need to talk with John."

"Sure, Dad. We can head out as soon as we collect our bags and prep Tracy One." Father and son walked towards the infirmary. Jeff was determined to rectify the wrongs he had done and hopefully he and his sons would really heal from the loss of Lucy Tracy.

The infirmary door hissed open and Jeff took a deep breath. _"Here goes nothing. Lucy, help keep me from making this more of a mess."_

"_I'm right here, Jeff. You're not going to mess anything up. You're going to finally let go of the grief you've held onto for too long."_

John looked up from his bed, uncertain. Gordon patted his arm to reassure him. "It's okay, Johnny."

"John, I need…"

"Dad, I need…"

Alan motioned to Brains and Gordon to follow him. That left John and Jeff to finally have a chance to talk. And begin to heal.

* * *

A/N: Well, John certainly let his feelings be known and before anyone says that is OOC for him, I've always thought that John's calm exterior hid a very volatile temper. Add into it that he's not feeling well and that Jeff brought up a touchy subject for them...well, I can't blame him for telling Jeff exactly what he thought. sam1


	17. Chapter 17

**Disclaimer: **We don't own the Tracys, International Rescue, or the Thunderbirds.

**A/N:** Standard little warning here...some cussing and you may need a tissue or two.

**Chapter 17**

_Scott stared down at his sleeping brother, confused and a little worried. Okay, he was more than a little worried that the head injury his brother had suffered was worse than the doctors thought. "Kerrie? Who the heck is Kerrie? I don't recall him ever mentioning that name before."_

Two days later and Scott was still waiting for the chance to ask Virgil who Kerrie was. And just how the hell John and Kerrie had saved him. As far as he knew John had been unconscious at home when Virgil had been whisked into the trauma room. In Canada. He wanted to get answers to his questions before Gordon and Alan arrived. Virgil was sleeping so he did what he always did when something was bothering him.

"Would you please stop pacing?" Virgil's quiet voice was a bit gruff and slightly irritated. He'd fallen asleep after his doctor had come in and checked the burns. The doctor had noticed that the curtains were closed, keeping the room dark and he asked Virgil if the headache had eased up any. Virgil had admitted that it hadn't and had even asked for some pain medication. After the doctor had left, Scott had made sure that the only light came from the bathroom door that was barely cracked open. In the dim light, Scott could just make out his brother wincing as he tried to get comfortable. The t-shirt Scott had bought for him rubbed against his chest and abdomen, irritating the slighter burns. The nastier and more painful burns were covered with a light dressing.

"Do you need some more pain medication, Virg?"

Shaking his head slightly, he winced again as the action pulled a little at the burns on his neck. "No, I don't like how they make me feel. I can't think clearly." He pushed a button on the side of his bed so that the head of it would move up to a more comfortable position. "What's on your mind, Scotty? You only pace like that when you're worried, angry, or trying to figure something out."

"Who is Kerrie?" He blurted, standing at the foot of Virgil's bed. "You said that Johnny and Kerrie saved you right after you were settled into this room."

Virgil frowned, unsure if he was ready to tell Scott about the young woman that he and John hadn't been able to save. He met Scott's gaze for a moment before looking out the window. "I don't know anyone named Kerrie. I know Johnny but no Kerrie." His ramblings faded to a stop when he realized he could feel his older brother's intense stare. _"Damn. He knows that I'm not telling him the truth. Just my luck that I'd have the closest bond with him. Though none of the others can bullshit him either." _And just like his brothers, he tried not to fidget under that piercing gaze. _"Don't look up. Don't look up. Oh, man, he knows. How the hell does he always know when I'm trying to hide something from him? I just don't know how to explain to him how much of a failure I felt like when I wasn't able to save her. Saving lives is what I'm supposed to be doing and she died holding my hand." _He rubbed his hand over his eyes, trying to wipe away any tears that had gathered. Between the pain he was in and the medications, he just couldn't maintain that stoic façade that he and his brothers had learned from their father.

His penetrating gaze never wavered and he picked up the little nuances that told him that his little brother was hiding something from him. Call it big brother intuition or a psychic bond but he could feel the emotional pain that Virgil was feeling. With a tenderness that most would have believed impossible, Scott carefully grasped Virgil's hands. Mindful of the burns his brother had suffered, he firmly forced the artist's hands away from his eyes. "You have never been able to lie to me, brother mine. I can't help you if you don't talk to me. If you don't let me know what is going on in that head of yours."

Embarrassed, Virgil jerked his hands from Scott's grasp. "Who says I want your help? Who says you can fix this? You can't make everything better." Wiping his eyes harder, he tried to take a calming breath. "I don't deserve to feel better." His shoulders shook as he tried to fight the inevitable. He was so torn…Wanting Scott to leave so that he could let go privately and wanting his big brother to make everything right. _"He can't make everything right. She died and there's not a damn thing anyone can do to bring her back."_

Scott stared down at his brother, his best friend and as was his nature, he took charge. He carefully sat down on the bed next to Virgil, bumping the younger man over. Ever mindful of the burns and bruises on his brother's body, Scott wrapped his arm around Virgil's shoulder. He pulled his weakened and injured brother against his side, hugging him. "I can't fix everything, Virg, but I can damn well see that you're hurting. And I'm not talking about the physical injuries you have. Let me try to help you. Please?"

His resolve to keep his pain to himself crumbled as soon as Scott hugged him. His tears fell unchecked, dropping onto the boring white blanket that covered him from the waist down. He desperately tried to stifle the sobs that tore from the hidden depths where he'd tried to bury the pain. The pain he'd felt from the moment he felt Kerrie's hand go slack within his. He'd failed and it had cost an innocent person her life. _"The shadows should have taken me. I don't deserve to live."_

_A cool hand reached out, touching his face though he didn't feel it. "You don't control who lives or dies, Virgil. Our fates are already decided no matter what path we choose to take. The end result will be the same. You can't keep blaming yourself that you couldn't control. I'm so very grateful that I didn't die alone. I know that you and John tried to save me." Brushing a feathery light kiss on his cheek, she stepped back. "You must allow yourself forgiveness as I never blamed you for not being able to do the impossible." _

"The shadows should have taken me, Scott. I don't deserve to live. I…I couldn't save her. Johnny and I tried but…But we just couldn't save her."

"Who couldn't you save and what the hell do you mean the shadows should have taken you?" Turning his body a bit so that he could focus his glare on his chestnut-haired brother. "And what the hell do you mean that you don't deserve to live?"

Hurt, angry, and confused, Virgil punched his leg. Ignoring the pain that radiated throughout his body, he snapped, "Because I wasn't strong or fast enough, an innocent young woman died. Damn it, Scotty, she died holding my hand. The shadows knew that I was unworthy and they tried to take me but Johnny interfered. He sacrificed himself to save me."

Confused and more than a little worried about his brother's mental well-being, Scott tried to be rational. "Virg, Johnny is at home on Tracy Island. There is no way he could have sacrificed himself." He patted Virgil's shoulder. "You must have been dreaming while you were unconscious."

Jerking from beneath his brother's hand, Virgil glared at him, "I wasn't dreaming, damn it. I felt the iciness where they slithered over me. I could feel the vomit in my throat and mouth. I could feel it suffocating me. And I know that is when I coded on the table." Scott stared at his brother dumbfounded. An almost hysterical chuckle escaped his mouth. "I read the notes the doctors wrote in my chart. I knew you would try to protect me even if I don't deserve it."

Scott took a deep breath and tried to sort through what Virgil was telling him. All of it sounded illogical and he still didn't know who Kerrie was or how she fit into the conversation. "Okay, I'm really confused here and before I make things worse, would you please start at the beginning? Who is Kerrie?"

Rolling his eyes, Virgil tried to calm down. His thoughts and emotions were all over the place and yet the harder he tried to control them, the more they bounced around. "Remember the rescue in that English seaside resort town?"

"You mean Hunstanton?"

"Yeah, that's the one." His eyes glazed over and in a monotonous voice he finally put all that he had experienced into words.

"You paired John and me together to search for survivors. It was the last house that we came to that we found her. She told us that she had tried running from the house when the wall fell. Part of it knocked her down, pinning her from the chest down beneath it. She had managed to work one arm free of the rubble but…but her body was too broken to push herself free. I held her hand and talked to her whilst Johnny cleared away some of the debris. We had decided to use those inflatable lifts that Brains designed. I tried to keep her distracted and kept her talking." He closed his eyes as the emotional pain he felt flared, "Her name was Kerrie and she was just a couple of years younger than Al. She was the baby of the family." He couldn't hold back a soft watery chuckle. "She said that her dad wanted a daughter but had five sons before she came along. Kind of like what Dad and Mom except Mom put her foot down after Al came along. She kept a tight grip on my hand but just as John positioned the lifts, I felt her grip slacken a bit." Biting his lip, he tried to hold back the sobs that were wracking his body. "I didn't want to look down and see her…I didn't want to see…oh gawd, she…she smiled up at me and thanked me and Johnny for staying with her. For trying to save her." Turning his pain-filled eyes to his brother, "She died holding my hand." His voice dropped to a whisper, "She thanked us and we couldn't save her."

Hugging his brother tighter, he blinked back the tears that had pooled in his own eyes, "We can't save everyone, Virg, but you and Johnny gave her something some victims never get."

"We didn't give her anything, Scotty."

"Yes, you did. You just haven't realized it because you've been beating yourself up for something you couldn't control. She didn't die afraid and alone. Even though she probably knew her injuries were too severe, she didn't give up because you and John gave her hope. And comfort. You said that she and Johnny saved you, right?"

"Yeah. She told me that it had been her time to go but it wasn't ours. Then she seemed to glide to where the shadows had converged on Johnny. She just reached down into the shadows and pulled him up."

"Sounds like Mom has some help and you and John have another guardian angel."

Virgil felt his jaw drop as he stared at Scott. "You think Mom is still looking after us?"

Shrugging, Scott tried to put into words what he'd long thought. "I don't think Mom has left us. I've felt her several times when things have been really bad for us. Gordy's hydrofoil accident. The time John was hit by that idiot drunk-driver just to name a couple of instances."

Before he could think, he blurted, "You believe in guardian angels?" He stared at Scott with wide-eyed amazement.

Chuckling, Scott gave his little brother a light noogie. "Yeah, I believe in guardian angels. How could I not? I'm the big brother of four adrenaline junkies. Though you and John aren't nearly as bad as the Terrible Two. I really feel sorry for the team of guardian angels watching over them."

"A team? More like an entire squadron is needed for those two." The two brothers grinned at Virgil's comment before laughter bubbled up and out of them. For the first time since the rescue in Hunstanton, Virgil felt lighter. He had mourned the loss of a young life but with his brother's help, he finally let go of the guilt that had been eating at him.

Neither Virgil nor Scott noticed the two men enter the room. "What is this? Starting the party without us?" Gordon and Alan stood side-by-side, staring at their older brothers.

"Sure did. It's just too bad that you guys missed all the hot nurses we just finished with. Damn bad timing if you ask me, isn't it, Virg?" Smirking, he continued, "Yeah, you two will have to carry both me and Virg out of here, but we're not sure that the nurses are going to let us go, now." He felt Virgil begin to shake with laughter. "You can see that I'm practically holding him up."

Scott heard the quiet "Thank you" that his brother murmured so that their younger brothers didn't hear.

"Ha ha, you are so not funny," Alan said.

"Are you two ready to get out of here?" Rolling his shoulders, Gordon winced slightly. "I have an appointment and the sooner I get there the happier everyone will be."

Virgil shifted his gaze from Gordon to Alan. "What kind of appointment would you have in Canada? You didn't know until this morning that you and Alan would be coming up here to get us."

"Virgil, Virgil, Virgil, did you not notice the rolling of the shoulders or the way he keeps stretching his back?" Alan asked.

Gordon glared at his only younger brother. "Thanks, Al."

"What?" Confused, Alan looked at Gordon. Then he noticed that Virgil and Scott had directed their attention at the red-haired prankster. "Oh…oh, man, I'm sorry."

Focusing his stare at his next youngest brother, Virgil noticed the tension in Gordon's face. A sure sign that his back was bothering him and the only thing that helped was for him to swim then soak in a hot tub. "Gords, are you going to be alright?"

"Yeah, just need to get to the hotel and in the pool." It hadn't escaped Gordon's attention that Scott hadn't said anything yet. His penetrating gaze searched for any clue that his little brother was worse off than he was admitting to. "Seriously, Scott, I'm okay. I just need get some water therapy in and I'll be right as rain."

With a tight nod, Scott redirected his attention to Virgil. "Ready to go, Virg? I have your discharge papers tucked in the bag. The nurse said to just push the call button when we're ready to go."

"I'm ready. I hate hospitals," he answered, pushing the call light. When the nurse came in, he was standing with his brothers surrounding him. "I'm ready to leave now."

"I thought you might be," she said. "I have the wheelchair just outside the door."

"Um, I don't need a wheelchair. I can walk."

She shook her head, "Sorry but it's hospital policy that every patient is escorted to an exit by wheelchair."

He felt the not-so-subtle nudge from Scott, "Fine." Glowering up at his big brother, "You're such a bully at times, you know?"

"Big brother's prerogative." He smiled down at the younger man as he settled in the wheelchair. The nurse carefully pushed the wheelchair and Scott walked alongside.

Gordon and Alan looked at one another, grinning. "Johnny and Virg are so screwed while big brother is in smother hen mode."

"Do you think Virgil knows that he'll be confined to the infirmary for a couple of days?"

Gordon chuckled, "I bet he doesn't and he's going to be giving some serious evil glares at Dad and ol' Smother Hen."

Their laughter caught Scott's attention and he glanced back at them. _"That can't be good." _Shrugging off any worries, he relaxed a little. _"We'll be home tomorrow and things will soon be back to normal."_

* * *

_Alone…he was alone again. He glanced over his shoulder nervously but didn't see any shadows trailing after him. There was just a dark void. Fear clutched at his chest as he tried to call out for his dad. His cries were lost in the vast emptiness. Ahead of him, an imposing figure flickered several times before suddenly appearing before him. " Dad?"_

"_John…wake…"_

_Reaching out, his eyes widened in horror as his hand passed right through his father's chest. "Dad?"_

"_Wake up…Johnny."_

His eyes snapped open and darted wildly around the room, searching for…For his dad. He was still fighting off the remnants of the nightmare and he failed to see Jeff sitting next to him. Panicked, he cried out, "DAD!"

Suddenly, he felt something warm wrap around him. A familiar scent tickled his nose and a sense of security flooded through him. "I'm here, Johnny. I'm right here." Keeping his face buried against his father's chest, he drifted back to sleep.


	18. Chapter 18

**Disclaimer: **We don't own the Tracys, IR, or the Thunderbirds.

**A/N: **Sorry for the delay in updating but due to real life and very conflicting schedules, we didn't have much of a choice. Anyway, here's a new update. Just a warning, there is some cussing in this update. sam1 and Mystikstorm

**Chapter 18**

Jeff sat on the edge of the bed with his arms wrapped around John's sleeping form. The nightmare that had partially wakened John had been a blessing in disguise. Holding his son closer, a small smile tugged at his lips. _"I still have a chance to make things right. To own up to the mistakes I made all those years ago. One son at a time."_

"Mr. T-Tracy, your b-b-boys called and have ch-checked into a hotel for the n-night." Brains glanced at John. "When h-he wakes up, I n-need to check him o-over. I d-d-don't like that he k-keeps se-seiz-convulsing."

Frowning, Jeff stared at Brains. "He's only had those two seizures. I know that they aren't good but he's not had any more."

"I j-just want t-t-to make sure t-that I'm n-not o-over-missing anything." He jotted down a few notes on his data pad. He had already started planning on the tests he wanted to run on John to make sure that all was well with his friend.

"Don't like…tests. Just want to sleep." John's sleep-roughened voice surprised both Jeff and Brains. "Dad?"

Jeff tightened his hug. "Right here, Son."

"Virgil?"

"He's been released from the hospital but they're staying at a hotel tonight before heading home tomorrow."

"Okay…g'night." The words were barely out of his mouth before he was asleep again.

Jeff nodded at Brains as the genius dimmed the lights and left the infirmary. Carefully, he slid his arm from beneath John and slipped off the bed. A soft grunt of complaint came from John though he didn't waken. Jeff quickly arranged the blanket over his sleeping son before settling in the chair next to him. His thoughts turned to the past and he slowly drifted off to sleep.

* * *

As soon as they were shown the suite they'd checked into, Gordon ducked into the bathroom and changed into his swim trunks. He grabbed a towel and was out the door with a slight wave. "Later, guys."

Alan stared hard after his older brother. "He's hurting worse than he's letting on." He didn't realize that he'd spoken aloud until…

"What?" Scott demanded, his voice quite loud as he was suddenly right next to Alan.

Swallowing nervously, Alan squirmed beneath Scott's withering gaze. The overly-protective-big-brother glare held for a few more moments before Scott made for the door to follow Gordon to the pool. "Virgil, take it easy and let Alan get anything you need. I've got to…"

"Follow Gordon and make sure that he is really okay." Virgil grinned up at his older brother. "I know the routine, Scott." He slowly made his way to one of the chairs in the suite. His head beginning to pound in time to his heart beat. Waiting a few minutes after Scott left, he looked up at Alan. "Sprout, can you get my pain meds from my bag?"

Alan felt his jaw drop at his brother's request. "If you're asking for pain meds then…"

"Don't you dare tell Scott. I don't need him worrying over me." Virgil's tone left no room for argument.

"He'll kill me, bring me back and then kill me again if I don't tell him, Virg." Visibly shuddering, he dug through the side pocket of Virgil's bag. He quickly found the medicine bottle and carried it over to his brother, grabbing a bottled water out of the mini-fridge.

"Aren't you being a bit overly dramatic, Al?"

His eyes widened as he vehemently shook his head. "No. You do realize that this is Scott we're talking about. It's bad enough to have him kick my ass when we're working out. I really don't want to have him do it because I didn't tell him that you were hurting worse than you let on."

Sighing, Virgil swallowed the pain meds and then took a drink of water. "Then keep your mouth closed, Al. I'm not going to say anything and as long as you keep quiet, he'll never know." He leaned back in the chair and closed his eyes. In a few moments, he'd fallen asleep, snoring softly.

Alan watched him for several long minutes and shook his head. _"Easy for him to say. If Scott even suspects that I knew anything, he'll kill me."_

* * *

"I'm fine, Scott." Gordon stared up at his big brother. "I've already told you that I just need to get in some hydrotherapy."

"Fine, get your hydrotherapy," Scott replied, sitting down. "I'll just sit here and wait for you."

Glowering, Gordon pulled his t-shirt over his head and then tossed it at Scott. "Suit yourself." He'd noted how close the chair was positioned to the pool and jumped in.

"HEY!"

Gordon surfaced and just as he'd expected, Scott was soaked. "Oops, my bad." With that, he began swimming. Slow and easy at first but then building up his speed until he was powering from one end of the pool to the other.

Scott watched as his younger brother plowed through the water. He'd always been amazed at the dedication and drive that the prankster had shown from his very first swim lesson. In his mind's eye, he could recall the red-haired boy's excitement_. "And then, I got to use a kickboard. Do you know what a kickboard is, Scotty? My teacher told me that I had a really strong kick. Do you think that I can get better and better, Scotty? I want to be the bestest swimmer ever in the whole wide world." The little boy threw his arms wide but then his demeanor changed. "Do you think Mommy is watching me, Scotty? I hope she is cos I miss her so much."_

"Scott?"

Startled, Scott realized that Gordon was waving his hand in front of his face. "Oh, sorry. I was just thinking."

"Must have been one helluva thought. I've been trying to get your attention for a good minute or so." He draped his towel over his shoulders, grinning. "So was she hot?" Years of practice had him moving quickly out of his brother's long reach. He waited for his brother to catch up. "Scott, do you think John and Virgil are going to be okay?"

"Yeah, why wouldn't they be?" The two brothers fell in step, oblivious of the stares that they were getting. Mostly from the young women and a few older ones as well.

"I know that you like to think that Alan and I aren't that observant but you can't bullshit a bullshitter. Those little wisecracks at the hospital…Yeah, totally know that there is something that you and Virg are trying to hide." Casting a sideways glance at his brother, he chuckled. "Tear streaks on Virgil's face were a big give-away."

They had reached the elevator and stepped inside. Scott promptly pushed the button for their floor.

Thinking fast, Scott threw his arm around Gordon's shoulder and pulled him into a one-armed hug. "You're so right, Gordy."

The younger man looked at the arm draped over his shoulder and then shifted his gaze to his big brother. "I am?" He was more than a little surprised at his brother's sudden hug. Scott just wasn't the touchy-feely type. _"Unless he's trying to kick my ass when we're sparring. My big brother can definitely put me down with that vicious right-hook of his."_

"Yep, you were right when you said you can't bullshit a bullshitter. You tried to hide how much your back was bothering you from us." The elevator stopped and the doors opened, the two brothers walked towards their suite. "Why would you even try to keep it from me?"

Shrewdly, Gordon said nothing for a moment. He tried to deny what Scott said but one look at his brother's piercing gaze, he knew that he was caught. _"How the hell does he do that? Alan. He had to have figured it out_." He swore several times once he realized just how Scott found out. "Alan ratted me out, didn't he? He always friggin' picks up on when my back is really bothering me."

"So, you were hurting and kept it from us," Scott said quietly. "Dumb move, little brother." He swiped his keycard through the reader and pushed open the door. Motioning Gordon through, he shook his head. "When are you going to learn that doing something like that can…" His gaze settled on the chair across the room. The same boring tan colored chair that Virgil had fallen asleep on. Then his sharp eyes spotted the medicine bottle and half-empty water bottle on the small table next to him. He shifted his gaze towards Alan, "Why is that medicine bottle out?"

Alan swallowed nervously, rubbing the back of his neck. Scott's eyes narrowed and Alan shifted his weight from one foot to the other. "Um, well…Here's what happened…" He looked over at Gordon, hoping for some help. Instead, his partner-in-crime casually lean against the wall and he knew he was on his own. _"I'm screwed."_

Scott knew he cast a formidable figure and often used that to his advantage when keeping his brothers in line. Or getting one of them to confess to all that they knew. Shuddering, he thought, _"Sometimes they tell me a bit too much."_ He could remember all too well the time Virgil told him about his first time. Shuddering again, _"That was so much more than I really wanted to ever know."_

Curious, Gordon and Alan stared at their oldest brother. Both saw him shudder a couple of times before his gaze cleared and he again focused on Alan. Gordon spoke up before Scott could say anything. "Are you okay, Scotty?"

Not taking his eyes off of Alan, who'd started fidgeting, he nodded. "I'm fine. I just remembered something that I really didn't want to know the first time much less think of it again. Now, Alan, why are Virgil's pain medications on the table?"

Alan opened his mouth but nothing came out. At least not from him. "They're out because I took a couple when I started to hurt. Back off a bit, Smother Hen." Virgil struggled to his feet. "I didn't want to take them in front of you because I knew you'd over-react." He grinned so that his brothers knew he wasn't upset. "Thanks for proving me right, big brother."

"Smother Hen?" Scott asked. "I am not a smother hen."

"Yes, you are," Gordon replied, grinning. "You have just refused to admit it. We, however, know it to be true."

"I am not." His three youngest brothers just grinned at him again. "I'm not."

"Yes, you are. When I muttered that Gordon was hurting worse than he let on, what did you do?"

As soon as the words left his mouth, he knew he was busted. Sure enough, Gordon popped him upside his head. "I knew it. You ratted me out to ol' Smother Hen."

A snort of laughter drew their attention to Virgil. "You gave yourself up, Gordy. Alan just helped you along when he muttered. You both know how sharp Scott's hearing is. Especially when you really don't want him to hear something."

Rubbing his abused head, Alan apologized to Gordon. "I'm sorry that you had big brother's over-protectiveness to deal with. I didn't realize that I'd spoken aloud." He glanced over at their oldest brother. "It didn't help that he's so sneaky and just suddenly appeared next to me. Forget being a big brother, he should have been a ninja."

"Nah, he couldn't be a ninja, Al. He gets just a bit peckish and his stomach growls loud enough to give his position away." Gordon grinned at Scott whilst furtively slipping behind Virgil. Or so he thought.

"I don't think so, little brother. You're not going to hide behind me." He sidestepped his next youngest brother and lowered himself onto a chair. Thinking that Scott's attention would be focused on Gordon, he closed his eyes. He let his head rest against the back of the chair.

He didn't see his three brothers watching him in uncharacteristic silence. Nor did he notice Scott approach the chair. "Virg?"

Reluctantly, Virgil opened his eyes. "I'm fine, Scott. The burns are just stinging a little."

Behind Scott, Alan and Gordon stood watching him. "Which means the burns are hurting like hell and like always he's trying to hide it."

"Shut it, Gordon. The doctor said that it's not uncommon for burns to sting and pull as they begin to heal."

Not wanting his brothers to get in an argument, Scott intervened. "Alright, that's enough. Virgil, will you promise to let us know if you start to hurt too badly?"

"Yes. I told Alan, didn't I?"

Scott sighed and took a deep breath. "Yes, you did. Though you tried to hide it from me."

"I didn't want you to worry more. I knew you were already worried about me, John, and knucklehead over there."

"Hey, I'm not a knucklehead."

Clapping a hand over his second youngest brother's mouth, Scott stared down Virgil. "That's enough from both of you. I worry more when you try to keep things like that from me, Virg. I know how bad your injuries are. And I know that if Gordon is really hurting badly, Alan will notice it and say something." He glanced at his watch. "It is 1800 hours and I'm hungry. Do you guys want room service or a restaurant?"

His stomach gave a loud rumble much to Gordon and Alan's amusement. "See, Al, I told you that he could never be a ninja." Any arguing was forgotten as the Terrible Two fell against one another laughing.

Scott rolled his eyes and a long-suffering sigh blew past his lips. His gaze met Virgil's and he grinned. "C'mon, little brother, let's leave them and go get something to eat."

Virgil yawned, shaking his head then wincing as once again the movement caused the burns to pull a bit. "Can we just order in? Or send Gordon and Alan down to the restaurant?" He shifted a bit in the chair, trying to get comfortable. He decided that sitting up seemed to hurt more and he was a little drowsy from the pain medications. He didn't even have to look up to know that Scott was watching him intently. "Yes, I'm hurting a little and I'm a bit tired due to the pain medications." Pushing himself up, he stood and walked over to one of the beds. "I'll just have whatever you choose for dinner." He laid down and stretched out on the bed and was soon asleep.

Scott looked at Gordon and Alan. "Would you mind going down to the restaurant and ordering our food? Steak, medium well…" His words faded as he noticed his younger brothers mimicking what he was saying.

Gordon stopped and grinned. "Baked potato, salad with vinaigrette on the side." Patting his older on the shoulder, he added, "You're so predictable when it comes to your food, Scott. What do you want to drink?"

Before Scott could answer, Alan spoke up. "Don't even think about saying coffee. You can have iced tea or water."

"Yeah, because we so don't want to deal with a hyper and over-protective big brother," Gordon said. He checked his back pocket to make sure his wallet was there. "C'mon, Alan, the sooner we leave, the sooner we can get back and eat."

Scott stood back and watched the door close behind them. "Those two are something else. I just wish I knew what." He didn't realize that he'd spoken aloud until Virgil's rich voice, somewhat thick from sleep, startled him. "What?"

"They're our brothers." Burnt-honey brown eyes dulled by pain and sleep still managed to shine with emotion. "As much as they can annoy us, I know that they have our back when things go bad."

"Yeah, they do. I guess we can keep them. If nothing else they're good for the entertainment factor." He walked over to his brother's bedside. "Sorry if I woke you."

Virgil tiredly shrugged his shoulders. "It's alright. I can't really get comfortable." His stomach gave a low rumble. He smiled sheepishly. "And I'm kind of hungry."

Chuckling, Scott sat carefully sat down on the edge of the bed. "Don't let the Terrible Two hear that or you'll never hear the end of it." Fighting against the yawn that threatened, he rubbed at his eyes.

"When's the last time you got some sleep, Scott?"

"I slept whilst you were in the hospital."

Rolling his eyes, Virgil sighed. "Let me rephrase that. When is the last time you actually slept in a bed and not a chair?"

Scott rubbed the back of his neck. "Um, before the last call out."

"Damn it, Scott, you can't keep going without sleep." He shifted over and grabbed his brother's shirt. "Lay down and rest until Gordy and Al get back with dinner."

_"How many times has he done that? He's tried to look after me since he was old enough to understand that the Tracy brothers look after one another," Scott thought to himself._ He gave in and laid down. "Fine, I'll 'rest' until they get back."

Giving into the pull of the pain medications again, Virgil let himself relax. "Good." It only took several minutes for his breathing to even out and he was asleep. Scott watched him for a few minutes longer then his body gave in to the need for sleep. A small whimper of discomfort or distress from Virgil seeped through his subconscious. "'S okay, Virg." His mumbled words didn't calm his brother as much as when he shifted closer. Virgil felt his brother near him and instinctively moved closer. Just as he had as a child, Virgil continued to equate Scott with safety and comfort.

* * *

"Hey, we're…Ouch." Gordon glared at his only younger brother. "What was that for?"

Alan merely pointed to the bed that held their older brothers. The two brothers had moved next to each other in their sleep. "Bet Virgil showed some sign of distress and Scott, even in his sleep, had to comfort him." He pulled the comforter from the other bed and carefully covered his brothers.

Gordon watched him and grinned. "It's not too often that we get to care for them the way they do us. Even if at times, they take it a bit too far." He dimmed the lights near the sleeping area. "We'll leave them to sleep and put their food in the fridge. They can reheat it later." He and Alan sat down to eat. Both continued to glance over at their sleeping brothers. Watching for the least sign of distress. After all, they were Tracys and as such they were programmed to watch after their older brothers. Just as their older brothers watched after them. It was just the Tracy way.


	19. Chapter 19

**Disclaimer:** Nothing has changed since the last update. We still don't nor can we claim to own the Tracys, IR, or the Thunderbirds.

**A/N: **Just to be safe, we're posting a diabetic warning. Criminally Charmed keeps reminding me that really sweet, fluffy updates can put a reader in a diabetic coma. Oh and another warning, there is cussing in this update. To be honest, there will probably be cussing in all future updates as well. Enjoy. Mystikstorm and sam1

**Chapter 19**

The early morning sunlight streamed through the windows. The rays cast the sleeping men in a radiant glow. Waking slowly, Jeff blinked several times and looked over at his son whilst stretching. He was drawn to the youthfulness of John's face. The peacefulness of the morning seemed to encompass the younger man as well. It had been a long time since he'd watched over John. Most often, he looked over Gordon, Alan, and to a lesser degree Virgil and Scott. And that was only after they were injured during a rescue. In the tranquility of the early morning hour, he let his mind wander.

_In the silence of the early morning hours, long before his rambunctious sons woke; Jeff quietly checked each of their bedrooms. He'd started this particular habit right after Scott was born. He'd needed that reassurance. Truth be told, the innocence and sweetness that each of his boys held was more fully displayed whilst they were sleeping. His youngest sons quickly shed the sweetness as soon as their feet hit the floor. Chuckling, he thought to himself, "There is never a dull moment when Gordon and Alan are awake. The things those two can think up is quite…well, I believe Scott gave them the appropriate nickname. The Terrible Two does really fit and they seem to relish having their own special title." His quick peek into Gordon and Alan's room showed that all was well with two of his five sons. _

_Softly closing the door, he made his way to the next room. The tidy room was well organized and showed his son's interest in all things related to aviation, the Air Force, football, and baseball. The mop of dark hair, so like his own, was all that could be seen of his eldest son. He crept in and gently folded the comforter away from Scott's face. Taking a moment, he gazed down at him. "He's growing up so fast. I couldn't be more proud of him." Not wanting to wake him at such an early hour, Jeff reluctantly crept out of the room. _

_The room across the hall was John and Virgil's. Frowning, he noticed that the door was partially open. He pushed the door open the rest of the way and looked towards the bunk bed. The night light cast a soft glow from its place next to Virgil's headboard. John never needed a night light but Virgil couldn't fall asleep without one. More specifically, it had to be the special musical note night light that Lucy had found for him. Most children needed a favorite stuffed animal or blanket for bedtime. Virgil needed his night light. Even on vacation. The dim light allowed Jeff to see tufts of chestnut colored hair sticking up in all directions. Virgil's little face was partially hidden by the teddy bear that he only slept with when he was upset. Kneeling down, Jeff straightened the blankets that were piled at the foot of the bed and tucked his son in. "Sweet dreams, Virgil." He kissed his son's forehead before standing up to see to John. _

_It took several long moments for his mind to accept what he was seeing. Or wasn't seeing. He patted down the bedding to make sure he wasn't missing anything. His son wasn't in his bed. Hurrying out of the room, he quickly searched the upstairs rooms whilst trying not to wake his sleeping sons. Each bedroom yielded the same result, no John. The bathroom the boys shared was empty as well. Jeff quickened his pace and rushed downstairs. The front door was shut and securely locked. The alarm system activated for the night. The living room devoid of the star-gazing blond. His home office was empty and silent. He looked in the family room and stopped dead in his tracks. There, curled up in Lucy's chair, lay John. His small face and pajama clad body were bathed in a patch of moonlight. Quietly, Jeff approached his sleeping baby boy. "No matter how old they get, they'll always be my babies," he thought to himself. He had just reached down to pick John up when he noticed the two books tucked behind him. It was then that he pieced together what had led John to sleep downstairs instead of in his bed. "He was waiting on me and I…Hell, I locked myself up in my room after tucking Gordon and Alan in. Then I fell asleep before Virgil, John, and Scott's bedtime." Gently, he brushed a hand over John's blond locks. "I'm sorry, my little star-gazer." He carefully picked John up and then settled back on the couch. One handed, he grabbed the throw blanket that was draped over the back of the couch. He kept John's little body tucked against him whilst covering him. The little boy never woke. He just snuggled closer to his dad, safe and secure. For his part, Jeff just held his precious little boy. _

"Dad?" John's bright blue eyes gazed up at his dad. "Dad, are you okay?"

Jeff stared at John for a moment. "I'm sorry, what did you say?"

"I asked if you were okay." Pushing the button that would raise the upper part of his bed, John continued to watch his dad.

Jeff could see the worry in his son's eyes. "I'm fine. I was just remembering something." Tentatively, he put his hand on John's shoulder. "John, I…I want to talk to you about how things were after your mom died. I have a lot to set right so that our family can heal. And after hearing what you said yesterday, I think now is the right time."

John remained silent and unsure if he was ready for what he felt was going to be a very serious and emotional talk. The fever that had been plaguing him had left him feeling drained. His hand alternated between burning and itching as it very slowly healed. Not to mention how adversely the seizures had affected him.

Brains bustled into the infirmary. He remained oblivious of interrupting the two Tracys as he was reading something on the data pad in his hand. "John, I w-wa-need to run a c-co-couple of tests on you to m-make sure that I haven't o-ov-over-missed anything."

Breathing a sigh of relief, John wearily shrugged. "Okay, as long as I don't have to move." He looked up at his dad. "Sorry, Dad, but I can't go against the doctor's request."

Jeff hadn't missed his son's reluctance to talk. "Brains, how long will your tests take?"

"A-about one h-hour," he answered. His attention already focused on what he wanted and needed. He hated to be ill-prepared when it came to taking care of the Tracys. Experience had proven that a Tracy who was ill or injured was very short of patience. He had learned that it was a necessity to have everything that may be needed on hand or else face an empty exam bed.

"I'll just go grab some coffee and do some paperwork. If you'll let me know when you're finished, I'd appreciate it." He reached out and touched John's shoulder. "I'll be back in a bit, John."

"O-okay, Mr. T-Tracy." Brains finally looked up from his data pad and realized that he'd interrupted something between father and son.

"Take your time, Dad. I'm not going anywhere." John leaned back against his pillow. "Brains, I'm ready." Jeff understood that he was being dismissed and quietly left the infirmary after lightly squeezing John's shoulder.

* * *

Scrunching his eyes against the sunlight that filtered in around the curtains, Virgil blindly searched for something to cover his eyes. His hand met with something he wasn't quite expecting. Nor was he expecting the yelp of surprised pain that followed. Instantly wide awake, he bolted upright. Then immediately groaned in pain as his injuries protested the sudden movement. Strong hands gently pushed him back so that he was again lying flat.

"Is he okay?" Alan's voice carried over from the vicinity of the living area. He and Gordon had watched television until they were both falling asleep. A game of rock-paper-scissors had decided who got the couch. A game that Alan purposefully lost since he'd known that Gordon's back was bothering him.

"I didn't… (whimper)…mean…to hit you…Scotty. Didn't know… (whimper)…you were…there." Tears pooled in his pain-filled eyes.

"Alan, get his pain medication and a bottle of water," Scott ordered. His pain all but forgotten at the sight of his little brother hurting.

"Scotty…I'm sorry…(whimper)…gawd this…hurts." He reached for his brother's hand, squeezing it against the pain.

"Shh, it's okay, Virg. Relax, brother mine, Alan is getting your pain meds." With his free hand, he brushed Virgil's hair away from his face.

"Here, Scott," Alan said. Scott held out his hand and waited for Alan to pour out their brother's pain medicine.

"Virg, we've got to get you sitting up a little so that you can take your pills and drink some water, okay?"

Shaking his head, Virgil tightened his hold on Scott's hand. "I don't…know if…I can."

"We'll help you, Virg," Alan said. He placed some pillows close by so that once Scott got Virgil up enough, he could stack them behind him.

Scott palmed the pain medications and gently helped his brother so that he was in a semi-sitting position. "Now, Alan." Alan quickly stacked the pillows behind Virgil. As soon as he had done what he could to make their brother comfortable, Scott handed Virgil his pain medications. Alan had a water bottle ready to hand over once he had swallowed the pills. Once he'd taken the medication, he had to wait for them to take effect.

He recalled the breathing technique that Gordon had used whilst he had been recuperating from the hydrofoil accident. His brother's pain had been so bad that the pain medications seemed to wear off before he could have another dose. A team of pain management specialists taught him the breathing technique that he still used to this day. Thinking of the breathing technique made him realize something. "Where's Gordy?"

Simultaneously, Alan, Scott, and Virgil looked over at the other bed. "Gordon?" Alarmed, Alan was the first one to react.

He rushed over to his closest brother's bedside but was brought up short by his brother's broken orders. "Don't…don't jump on…the bed. Don't…touch me." Stifling a groan, he blanched as he felt his back spasm. "Side…pocket."

"What?" Scott looked bewildered at his brother's words.

"His meds are in the side pocket of his carryon bag," Alan explained, grabbing the bag and digging through the side pocket. "He always keeps a bottle tucked in there so that he's prepared if he has a flare up."

"Stop…(groans)…talking and…give me the…(groans)…damn pills." He tried to breathe through the pain but couldn't focus enough what with worrying about Virgil. He'd heard his brother's whimpers of pain as well as Scott's pained yelp but had been helpless to do anything. Not being able to help his big brother wasn't sitting too well with him.

"Breathe, Gordy," Virgil said, watching his little brother struggle through his own pain.

Turning his head, he glared at Virgil. "What the…hell do you(groans)…think I'm doing? Does it look…like I'm holding…(groans)…my damn breath? Breathe, Gordy. Of all…(grunts)…the friggin stupid things…(bites lip)…to say to someone…(groans)…who is obviously breathing."

"Knock it off, Gordon. We know you're hurting but that doesn't give you the right to be an ass to any of us. Virgil was only trying to help." Scott's tone would normally garner instant contriteness from a petulant brother.

Unfortunately, this wasn't a normal circumstance and Gordon wasn't going to be cowed by his oldest brother. "Bite me…(glower)…Scott. I know…he was trying…(gasp)…to help." Writhing on the bed in obvious pain and discomfort, he gripped the bedding in his fists. He looked over at Virgil and without even being aware of what he was doing, he picked up on Virgil's breathing pattern. The same pattern that he had used after his accident. Whilst the pain didn't immediately fade into oblivion, it wasn't as sharp as he breathed through the worst of it. "Thanks, Virg."

"Don't mention it." The two brothers grinned at each other.

Scott, smother hen that he was couldn't stop himself from worrying about his younger brothers. He knew he had to back off or else Gordon would have a fit of monumental proportions. He chose to redirect his need to keep asking his brothers how they were. "Alan, it looks like we're going to be piloting the plane." He quickly gathered all of their belongings and set the bags on the couch. "We can leave now and be home by dinner time or we can each grab showers and get home a few hours later."

Virgil glanced around at his brothers. "I vote for leaving now. I can take a shower at home."

"Me too." Truth be told, Alan really wanted to get back home so that he could check on John.

"I don't think getting into the shower is a good idea for me," Gordon admitted.

"Why not?" Scott asked, confused.

"Because I took the really strong pain medications that Brains prescribed." To emphasize his statement, he yawned. "And they make me a bit drowsy."

Alan shook his head. "Bullshit, Gordy. Those pills knock you out for at least three to four hours."

"Alright then, we leave now. Alan, can you run our gear down to the SUV? Virg and Gordy, do you think that you can make it to the restaurant in the lobby? We need to grab something to eat before we leave."

"I think so. As long as we go slow," Virgil answered.

"Really slow and I may need some help," Gordon added. The pain he was still feeling clearly showed in his eyes.

"Why don't you wait on me to get back and then I can help you, Gordy? Scott, you can help Virgil if he needs it," Alan suggested. He grabbed the four carryon bags and started for the door.

"Hey, Alan, do you mind if I brush my teeth before you take my bag?" Scott motioned in the direction of his brothers. "Virgil and Gordon might also like to brush their teeth and clean up a bit before we leave."

Alan grinned at his brothers. "Sorry, guys, I just want to get home." He set the bags down on the table. Rummaging through his own bag, he pulled out his toiletries.

Scott looked at Virgil and Gordon. "Do you need help getting up?"

"I think I can manage," Virgil said, carefully shifting his legs over the side of the bed. When it looked as if he was going to overbalance, Scott reached out for him. "I hate this, Scott."

"Hate what?" His brows knitted together in confusion.

"I hate being hurt and I hate having to rely on someone to help me." Eyes downcast, he sighed. "And I hate that I hurt you."

"I know that each of us hates being hurt but what we do is dangerous and well, sometimes it's going to happen. As for relying on someone…We're not someone, we're your brothers and we're always going to be there for you and each other." He carefully made Virgil look up at him. "You surprised me more than you hurt me, Virgil. Not that I want you to repeat those actions."

A snort of laughter from Gordon soon erupted into loud guffaws from the prankster. "So that's what that yelp was from." Tears streamed from his eyes. "That's twice in your life that you've suffered in that way, Scotty."

"Twice? I've only been hit…" His words faded as he remembered the first time. "Alan."

"Yep, I was guilty for the first time," Alan said. "I didn't know that I was able to throw a baseball that far. Or that my aim was off. At least, Virgil didn't hit you."

Virgil's face paled a little more, then a slow embarrassed blush crept up his neck and colored his face.

"Virgil, don't worry about it. I'm fine and just as I know Alan didn't mean to nail me with that baseball, I know that you didn't mean to either." With a pointed look at Alan and Gordon, he silently conveyed to them to drop the matter. "Let's get moving so that we can eat." His stomach grumbled in response much to Gordon and Alan's amusement. Even Virgil struggled to keep from chuckling. With Alan and Scott's help, Gordon and Virgil were able to get to the bathroom and perform their morning routine. Though Gordon whined a little that he had to follow Virgil.

After a stop in the restaurant for their breakfast, the brothers were soon on their way to the airport. Alan called ahead to have their plane fueled and readied for flight. He would be Scott's co-pilot for the flight back to Tracy Island.

"Everything looks good, Alan." Scott and Alan had walked around Tracy One, inspecting it for any damage or tampering. Their father had constantly reminded them that they alone were responsible for inspecting their planes before take-off.

"Yep. Next month we're going to have to do a complete maintenance inspection on her. Tracy Two will follow a month later." The brothers climbed the stairs and into the coolness of the passenger cabin where Virgil and Gordon were fastened in. Both were struggling to stay awake.

"Ready to go?" Scott's sharp gaze flicked to his brothers' waists, making sure that they had fastened themselves in.

Gordon and Virgil looked at one another before looking up at their oldest brother. "Yes," Virgil answered, tugging on his seat belt. Gordon mirrored his actions which caused Alan to start laughing.

"I guess they know you too well, big brother," he said. He had secured the door and double checked it just as he'd been taught.

Scott merely shook his head and walked towards the cockpit. "C'mon, Al, I want to get home before dinner is served. Nothing beats Kyrano's freshly prepared meals."

"If you guys need anything just yell, okay?" Alan looked worriedly at his older brothers. _"They're both still too pale for my liking. I'll feel much better if Brains looks them over," he thought._ _"Oh hell, Scott's rubbing off on me."_

Just as Scott expected, their take-off was smooth and conditions were perfect for their flight home. Several hours into their flight, things suddenly took a turn. A wrong turn that began with hitting turbulence. Followed by a scream for help from the passenger cabin.


	20. Chapter 20

**Disclaimer:** We still don't own them. We're just torturing…we mean, borrowing them for this story.

**A/N:** Thanks to everyone who is still reading this little story. Huge thanks to those who continue to read, review, and support this story. We really love the reviews and feedback from each of you. Mystikstorm and sam1

Oops, I forgot to post the tissue warning. Thanks vulcangirl1983 for pointing that out. I guess I should add the diabetic fluff warning as well since Mystik mentioned it and CC is always reminding me that I forgot it. sam1

**Chapter 20**

John winced as another syringe pierced his skin. "I'm beginning to feel like a pincushion." He'd already received an injection of antibiotics and now Brains was drawing more blood to run tests on.

"T-this is t-the last of the s-spec-blood draws. All that is l-left is the s-sc-scans of your head." Brains capped the used syringe before discarding it in the sharps bin.

"Then I get to leave the infirmary?" John wiped the little bit of blood that had bubbled up when Brains withdrew the needle.

Shaking his head, Brains stuttered his reply. "N-nice try, John. B-b-but the answer is n-no." He paused at the door leading to the small lab off of the infirmary. "Y-you have th-thirty minutes to pr-pre-get yourself ready for that t-t-talk your f-fa-dad wants to have." With a small grin, he was through the door. He knew that John and Jeff had thought he'd been oblivious to the slight tension in the room when he came in. They had conveniently forgotten that he was more perceptive than he let on.

John bit back a small groan of frustration. He really wasn't looking forward to or even wanting to have any kind of emotional talks. He was more like his father than he knew as neither of them was really open with their feelings. Granted, John wasn't as bad but he still managed to hide his pain from everyone. Including himself. It had been years since he'd even let himself think of how much it had hurt him and his brothers when their mom had died. He wasn't happy that all of the pain and anger he'd felt afterwards had resurfaced. Or the guilt.

"_If I get up now, I could find some place to hide,"_ _he thought. _Sighing, he shook his head. He knew that as much as he wanted to run, he wouldn't. Tracys never ran from anything no matter how much they wanted to. _"We're just too damn stubborn." _He glanced at the door then shifted his gaze to the IV that hung above and to the right of his head. Blue eyes, dulled by fever and illness, followed the IV tubing from the bag to the where the catheter was taped down on his hand. _"We may not run but we are known to go walksies when we're not supposed to." _His fingers played with the tape, peeling the corners up and then smoothing them down again.

His gaze settled on the view through the oversized windows. "I'd much rather be out there." Before he'd even realized it, he had completely pulled the tape off his hand. "I'm not staying in here right now. I need to be outside." His breathing quickened as the need to flee the infirmary overtook his thoughts. Grasping the IV catheter, he pulled it out and then dropped it. He watched it fall to the floor before throwing back the blanket and sheet that covered his lower body.

Such was his focus on getting outdoors; he didn't notice the door open or his father's appearance. "Gotta get outside. Need to feel…(gasp)…the sun. Want to feel…(gasp)…warm. Don't want to…remember Mom's death. Don't want…to think…hurts. Too many…hurt…Dad…Scott, Alan, Gordy…Virgil. God, don't want…to remember Virgil crying. I couldn't help him…couldn't make things right." Tears ran unchecked down his face, dripping onto the floor. Somehow during his ramblings, he had managed to prop himself up against the side of his bed. His breath came in ragged bursts. He'd taken just one step from the bed when his legs gave out. He felt himself falling then felt warm arms around his waist.

"I've got you, John." Jeff carefully helped his son sit in the chair that he himself had sat in quite a bit over the last couple of days. "What were you thinking getting up on your own like that?"

John closed his eyes and muttered. "I wanted to go outside. I wanted to…be warm again."

Watching his son closely, Jeff frowned. "John, I heard what you were saying. I have a lot to own up to and I'm hoping that you'll listen and maybe understand what I'm trying to say." Sighing, he pulled over one of the other chairs and sat down. "I'm not really good at saying what I feel but I love you and your brothers more than I can express. I'll admit I really screwed up after Lucy died but even with having you boys around, I felt this huge void in my heart. I didn't want to live anymore. It was like when she died, I died with her. What took me a long time to see was that even though she was gone, she was still right in front of me. All I had to do was open my eyes."

Despite himself, John was listening to what his dad was saying. "You mean you had reminders of her in the form of the things Mom collected in the house. Her belongings, right?"

"No, I mean I still had her in the form of you and your brothers. Each of you is a piece of her. Scott is the protective piece of her. The one who makes sure that you are all protected to the best of his abilities. Virgil is the one who most resembles her. His love of the arts was passed down from her. Gordon is the prankster part of who your mom was. The free spirit part of her. Alan…Alan is the embodiment of her fiery personality." Looking right into his son's face, he smiled. "And you, you're the sensitive and intellectual part of your mom. It took me a while to see what was right before me. And to know that I haven't lost her gives me hope that you may forgive me for how poorly I treated Virgil back then." He nervously wiped his hands on his trousers. "I know I can never take back how I treated him. Or you and the rest of your brothers. I knew that you were the one behind the removal of the tire stems. As well as the sabotaged toothbrushes, dye in my shampoo, and the vinegar scented body wash."

John picked at the hem of his t-shirt. "I was so angry at you…" His voice grew softer. "And at Mom." Tears prickled at his eyes and his vision blurred. "I needed her. I wasn't ready to let her go. It was so easy to take my anger out on you than to admit to the guilt I felt for being angry at Mom. And then when you kept ignoring Virgil, it was even easier to be angry with you. Making life more difficult for you was the easiest way for me to focus all that pain and anger. As long as I held onto that anger, I didn't have to admit to myself that I was lost without Mom and you. I…" The tears that had been threatening again, burst free and sobs wracked his body. "I didn't understand where you went. I saw you most every day but you weren't there." He covered his face with shaking hands. "I tried to push you away so that when you left me, it wouldn't hurt. As I got older and adjusted to Mom being gone, I just wanted you be a better dad to Scott, Virgil, Gordon, and Alan. Especially Virgil."

Jeff lightly grasped John's hands, pulling them away from his face. John was surprised to see tears trailing down his dad's face. "What about you, Johnny?"

Shrugging his shoulders, he sighed. "I didn't care about me. My brothers and their well-being mean more than what I want or need." He raised his eyes to meet his father's gaze. The emotional pain that he'd tried to bury for so long was plain to read in his blue orbs. The fever and illness had weakened his defenses and he could no longer hide his pain.

His son's words tore at his heart but it was the desolation he could see in his eyes that hurt the worst. He pulled John towards him and winced when he felt the heat radiating from his body. But the fever didn't keep him from hugging his son's shaking form close to him. "John, you are just as important to me as your brothers. I've failed you in so many ways."

John let himself be drawn within his father's embrace. The devastated eight-year-old boy within him was desperate to find comfort and solace in his father's arms. "I'm s-so-sorry, Dad…"

Jeff felt John's body tense and was momentarily confused. "Sorry for what, Son?" He leaned back a little so that he could see John's face. He quickly recognized the panicked and fearful look on his face just as he started convulsing. "John, what's wrong?"

"D-d-dad…"

Moving as fast as he could, Jeff managed to get John out of the chair and on the floor. He tried to protect John from hitting his head against the hard tile flooring. "It's okay, Johnny, I've got you. Try to relax."

Staring up at his father's face, he pleaded with his eyes. _"Dad, make it stop. Please make it stop."_ Just as his eyes rolled back in his head, he had one last conscious thought. "Virgil."


	21. Chapter 21

**Disclaimer:** We still don't own them.

**A/N: **Fluff warning with this update. Oh, the fluff bit has the Tracy brothers as little boys so the language is appropriate.

**Chapter 21**

_Moving as fast as he could, Jeff managed to get John out of the chair and on the floor. He tried to protect John from hitting his head against the hard tile flooring. "It's okay, Johnny, I've got you. Try to relax."_

_Staring up at his father's face, he pleaded with his eyes. __"Dad, make it stop. Please make it stop."__ Just as his eyes rolled back in his head, he had one last conscious thought. "Virgil."_

Jeff held his son's unconscious body, his voice gruff with worry. "I've got you, Johnny." His eyes misted over as a memory he'd long forgotten resurfaced.

_The late spring day had been perfect as far as Jeff was concerned. He and Lucy had taken their sons to Kansas Splashdown. Lucy had laughed at her husband when she saw the theme for the indoor water park. "I should have known it would have a space theme to it, Jeff." _

_Her soft laughter was quickly drowned out by her water-loving son. "Mommy, I wants to go swimming now." _

_He tugged on her hand whilst Alan tugged on her other hand. "Yeah, Mommy, I wants to swim wif Gordy." _

"_Daddy, is that where's you was when you was an astr'naut?" Five-year-old Virgil gaped at the replica moon base that was part of the water park._

_Scott blew out an exasperated breath. "This isn't the moon, Virgie, duh. Dad went to the moon in a real rocket ship." Virgil looked down at his feet, embarrassed. Scott instantly realized that he'd embarrassed and hurt his little brother's feelings. "I bet we can have more fun here, Virgie. Dad had to work but we get to play." He hugged his favorite and closest little brother, smiling back at him when Virgil's face lit up with a huge smile of his own._

_Six-year-old John crowded next to his dad's legs, staring up at the "astronauts" that seemed to float above the pool. "Daddy, I wants to be an astr'naut."_

_Jeff picked up his blond-haired son. "You can be anything you want to be, Johnny. All it takes is determination and perseverance." _

"_What's determnation and pers'verance, Daddy?"_

_Scott had overheard his brother's question and offered his own meaning. "Daddy just means that you have to work hard and not give up on what you want, Johnny." _

"_Oh, I can do that." He looked back at his dad. "Daddy, I wants to be up with the stars."_

_Hugging him close, he smiled at his family. "If that is what you want then you will. Now, how about some play time before Gordy and Allie pull your mom's arms off." Giggling, John nodded his head. Each of his boys had a great time playing in and exploring the water park. _

_As the water park began to fill with more children and parents, Jeff momentarily lost sight of his second-born son. He walked around the pools, searching for him. Lucy was with Gordon and Alan enjoying the lazy river. Virgil and Scott were spraying water from the lunar lander. He had just passed the area where the Mercury rocket lifted off, dumping gallons of water when several whistles blew. _

_Quickly, he looked around to make sure that Lucy, Gordon, Alan, Scott, and Virgil were still where he'd last seen them. His gaze had just skimmed past one of the lifeguards and the small form he held when Jeff felt his heart drop. He ran towards the small circle of onlookers and pushed his way through them. A lifeguard had begun chest compressions whilst another waited to give rescue breaths for the unnaturally still child. _

"_Johnny!" Jeff dropped to his knees right next to his son's legs. He had ignored the glares he'd received when he pushed past the growing number of onlookers. He'd even ignored the orders to stand back that the lifeguards had given. _

_His expression of shocked horror gave way to a sigh of relief when water poured from John's mouth and he started coughing. The coughing gave way to crying. "Daddy…I wants my daddy." _

_Jeff scooped his boy up and held him close. "Daddy's here, baby. Daddy's got you."_

The memory merged with present time and he stared down at his son's face. "Daddy has you, Johnny." It took a moment before he realized that John's breathing was becoming labored. "BRAINS!"

He tapped John's face. "BRAINS, GET IN HERE!" Reluctantly, Jeff laid John down completely on the floor so that he could grab an oxygen mask. As soon as he had one in hand, he fitted it over John's face and turned on the oxygen. "It's going to be okay, Johnny."

"Mr. T-Tracy?" Brains looked around the seemingly empty infirmary. His view of Jeff and John was blocked by the bed.

"Over here, Brains." He raised his hand so that Brains could see him. "C'mon, Son, wake up. Your brothers are on their way home."

Brains knelt down beside the two men. His sharp gaze quickly picked out minute details that gave him an idea as to what happened. "He h-had another s-se-seizure, didn't h-he?" Taking in the oxygen mask, he shifted his gaze to Jeff's face. "W-wh-what's with the m-mask?"

"After the seizure, he fell unconscious again and then his breathing became labored," Jeff explained. His hand brushed John's hair out of his face. "He seems so young when he's asleep."

After a quick yet thorough exam, Brains said, "Mr. T-Tracy, we n-ne-need to get h-him up on t-the bed." Jeff had just maneuvered John into a sitting position when he started to wake.

Not quite awake or sure of what had happened, John clawed at the oxygen mask that covered his face. Jeff grabbed his hands. "Leave it on, John. It's helping you."

Confused, John twisted his hands so that he was gripping his dad's hands. "D-dad?" His head fell back against Jeff's chest. "Wh-what happened?"

"You had another seizure."

Jeff's voice startled him and his confusion grew. "Where's…Virgil?"

"He's with your brothers. Remember?"

Shaking his head, he again tried to pull the mask from his face. "I was just talking to him. And Kerrie." A tear slid down his face.

Worried about his son's confused state, Jeff nodded at Brains. "Brains and I are going to help you up so that you can lie down on the bed."

"Dad, where is Virgil?" His agitation grew and his gaze shifted around the room, searching out his younger brother.

"He's on his way home with your brothers, John." Suddenly, he thought of something. The last time John had a seizure was when Virgil had coded at the hospital in Canada. _"He woke up, demanding to know where Virgil was."_

"NO! He was next to me whilst Kerrie was talking to us." Pushing away from his dad, he scrambled ungraciously to his feet. "Kerrie said that I had to keep watching out for him. That we needed to talk…That …" He stopped talking and stared at Jeff. "I'm sorry, Dad. I'm so sorry for…all the mean things I…That I did to you after Mom died."

Jeff was having a hard time following his son's confused ramblings. It wasn't until he apologized for the mean things he'd done that Jeff realized that his son remembered parts of their talk. "You remembered our talk?"

"I think so…You apologized for not always being there for us." Reaching out to his dad, he continued, "I love you, Dad. I'm sorry for everything I did to make your life hell."

Embracing his second born, Jeff smiled. _"I've got my boy back."_

"_You always had him, Jeff. Even when he was angry at you, he loved you more than he could express. Our son is much like his father in that regard."_

A silent figure slipped back into the shadows of the hallway. As predicted, a Tracy son followed his father's lead in ridding himself of the guilt and anger that had plagued each of them since Lucy's death. His soft words were heard by the one who needed to hear them. "The bonds that connect father and son are once again strong. Your celestial presence will continue to guide and aid each of them until they are called to your side."

"_Thank you for looking after my boys and Jeff. Your calm influence has helped them."_


	22. Chapter 22

**Disclaimer:** We still don't own them.

**A/N:** Here's the update a few of you have been asking - or in the case of Criminally Charmed demanding (j/k, CC…maybe) – to know what was happening on the plane. Hope you enjoy it. Mystikstorm and sam1

**Chapter 22**

Less than an hour away from Tracy Island, Virgil and Gordon were having a friendly game of cards. Though friendly to the Tracys meant competitive. Neither of the two men had liked being delegated to mere passengers. As such, they had also been trying to come up with some pranks to get back at their eldest and youngest brothers.

"Are you kidding? I don't repeat my pranks like that, Virg." Gordon shook his head. "No wonder none of yours seem to work too well."

It wasn't just his lack of expertise in pulling off an elaborate prank like Gordon, Virgil wasn't feeling any better. In fact, his head was pounding relentlessly. Virgil glared at his younger brother but before he could say anything the warning alarms blared throughout the plane and they were bounced around in their chairs. Nauseous and finding it harder to focus, he tried to reach out to his brother. Only to find that he couldn't extend his arm. His vision narrowed and then faded altogether.

Buckling his seat belt, Gordon tried to bite back a groan. His last dose of pain medications was wearing off and being jostled about was not what he needed right now. He looked over to check on his brother. "Virgil? VIRGIL?" Shaking his brother's arm, he felt the panic building. "HELP! SCOTT! SCOTT, GET BACK HERE!"

In the cockpit, Alan and Scott had their hands full with keeping the plane under control. The two brothers had flown together enough times to instinctively know what the other was doing. And Alan had been the youngest brother long enough to know that as soon as Gordon cried out for help that Scott would jump up. "GO! I can handle things until you get back." Daring to glance away from the control panel and windshield, he smirked. "I'm a big boy now, Scotty. I'm potty-trained and can even feed myself."

Scott paused a moment longer then patted his baby brother on the top of his head. "I know you can." With that he was out of his seat and rushing towards the passenger cabin. His sharp eyes took in the trickle of blood coming from Virgil's mouth and the steadier flow coming from his nose.

Gordon's cries for help hadn't abated but were now mixed with pleas for Virgil to wake up. "C'mon, Virg, wake up." He shifted his fear glazed eyes when Scott moved into his peripheral vision. "Scott, he's bleeding."

Scott had taken just one step towards his brothers when Virgil started twitching in his seat. The twitching gave way to convulsions that caused him to slip out of his chair. Gordon reached out to grab his older brother only to wrench his back. "Damn it." His face paled and he fell back in his seat unable to do anything more than try to breathe through the pain. Through the pained haze, he dimly noted that the plane had stopped bouncing with the turbulence. _"About damned time."_

"ALAN, PUT A DISTRESS CALL TO TRACY ISLAND! HAVE BRAINS PREP THE INFIRMARY AND TO BE STANDING BY!" Scott's voice boomed throughout the cabin and cockpit.

Alan hollered back, "Already ahead of you on that, Scott. Brains will be waiting as requested." He'd heard everything in the passenger cabin as he'd flipped on the intercom system. He was a lot like his older brothers and hated to be kept out of the loop when one of them was sick or injured.

Scott dropped down on his knees next to his convulsing brother. He knew that there was nothing he could do for him other than try to keep him from hitting his head. Ever observant when it came to his brothers, he'd noticed Gordon's gasp of pain. He spotted the younger man's carryon bag and reached for it. Digging into the side pocket, he found his red-haired brother's pain medication. "Here, Gordon."

He watched his little brother dry swallow the pills then turned his attention back to Virgil. He'd moved him away from where he might hit his head and waited until the convulsions stopped. His hand shaking slightly, he reached out and felt for his brother's pulse. A ragged exhale and a slight smile at Gordon was all he could manage to show his relief. Virgil's pulse was strong though fast which he attributed to the seizure.

Blood continued to trickle from his mouth and nose albeit a bit slower. Scott looked around for something to wipe his brother's face but found nothing. Since nothing was readily available and he refused to leave his brother's side, he ripped off his t-shirt. Gently, he wiped the blood away and rolled him on his side in the recovery position.

"What the hell happened to him, Scotty?" As usual, Gordon wasn't prepared to mince words. His worry for his big brother added to the pain he was in made his bluntness even more pronounced.

Brushing back Virgil's hair, Scott shrugged. "I don't know, Gords. Was he complaining of a headache or anything?"

"Not really. I mean, he didn't say anything. We were playing cards and talking." He looked down at the unconscious form of his brother. "He looked a bit pale but he denied feeling bad when I asked him earlier. Damn it, Scotty, why are you guys so damned stubborn and refuse to admit when you don't feel well or are hurt?"

Incredulous, Scott couldn't help the small smile that tugged at his mouth. "If that isn't a case of pot calling the kettle black."

"I am nowhere near as bad as you lot." Scott chuckled at Gordon's denial much to the red-head's chagrin. "I'm not."

"Yes, you are." Alan's disembodied voice argued. "Who was the one who didn't tell us that he was having back spasms?"

Scott glanced at his watch and then back to his still unconscious brother. "Alan, how…"

"We're about fifteen minutes out," Alan interrupted. "I suggest that you get Virgil and yourself fastened in."

Even though the Tracy brothers were in great physical condition, Scott was breathing hard by the time he had managed to get Virgil fastened into his seat. "Virg, either I'm going to have to step up my weight lifting or you're going to have to go on a diet." His stress levels were high and though he was nowhere near as bad as Gordon, he had to make inane comments to relieve some of that stress.

Gordon chuckled at his older brother's comment. He opened his mouth to make some wisecrack when Scott cut him off. "No comments from the peanut gallery, Gords." Feeling the plane lose altitude, Scott quickly sat in the seat next to Virgil and fastened his seat belt.

"Is everyone fastened in?" Alan's voice carried back from the cockpit.

"Yes. Is Brains standing by?" Scott asked, partially focused on Virgil.

"Yep, and Scott, can you please wait til I power down the plane before you try opening the hatch?" Alan knew that his oldest brother was on edge with worry. He'd grown up in a home where laughter was a mostly positive way to combat tension and stress.

Scott rolled his eyes and muttered, "Open the hatch too early one time and nobody forgets."

"That's because Dad had just taxied near the hangar and Alan was right next to you when you opened it. You about gave the old man a heart attack when Alan screamed from outside of the plane. You were the only thing keeping him from bouncing onto the tarmac." Gordon kept his eyes trained on Virgil, looking for any sign of him waking.

"If I remember correctly, the little monster was screaming, "Wheeee" and laughing like a maniac."

"Now I know why I'm such an adrenaline junkie," Alan said. "Thanks for that, Scott."

Scott grinned at Gordon. "No problem and thanks, guys, for trying to distract me."

"That's what we're here for. Well, that and to annoy, prank, and bug you whenever given a chance," Gordon said, grinning.

A soft groan had Scott jerking around in his seat. He stared at his chestnut haired brother. "Virg?"

His eyes gradually opened and he gazed around the cabin, confused. "Where…where are John and Kerrie?" They all felt a slight bump as the plane touched down. Virgil's head lolled to the side and he tried to focus on Scott. "Scotty…I don't feel so…" His eyes rolled back in his head.

"VIRGIL?" Scott reached out to shake his brother to no avail.

Gordon unfastened his seat belt and struggled to his feet. "VIRG? C'mon, man, wake up."

"Guys, someone needs to open the hatch now," Alan ordered. He had powered down the plane and was quickly logging his post flight paperwork. He wanted to make sure that the plane was ready to go if needed.

Scott had the hatch opened and was practically dragging Brains towards Virgil. "He woke up for a moment then passed out again."

"O-ok-okay, calm d-down." He pushed the younger man aside and checked Virgil's vitals. "C-can you g-g-get him on the st-st-stretcher?"

As carefully as he could manage, Scott picked his younger brother up in a fireman's carry. "Alan, can you help Gordon?"

"HEY, I'm quite capable of taking care of myself. You just need to get our brother to the infirmary." He knew his brother was torn between the two injured brothers but Gordon knew he was much better off than Virgil.

Brains knew that Scott would argue the point so he intervened. "S-Sc-Scott, move it. Gordon kn-knows that Alan w-w-will help him if n-ne-nec-need be."

With one last glance at his youngest brothers, Scott nodded and ducked out of the plane. He and Brains hurried to get Virgil secured to the gurney. They took off at a fast pace towards the elevator that would take them near the infirmary.

A lone figure paced the hallway in front of the door to the infirmary. As soon as the elevator doors opened, he ran towards them. "What the hell happened, Scott?"

"We hit some turbulence and then Gordon started screaming for help. I didn't know what had happened until I made it to the passenger cabin. Dad…He was bleeding from his mouth and nose. He was unconscious and just as I reached him, he started convulsing."

They burst through the infirmary doors, startling John. "VIRGIL!"

As if he heard his brother's cry, Virgil forced his eyes open. His vision was blurry and the lights were sending spears of shooting pain through his head. "J-John?"

"Yeah, it's me, little brother." A pointed look from his dad kept him on his bed. He was patient and knew that he'd manage to get to his brother's side in due time.

"I don' feel s'good…hurts…" Swallowing hard, he tried to fight down the bile that was threatening to come up.

"What hurts, Son?"

Weakly, Virgil struggled to focus his bleary gaze on his dad. "Dad?" He blinked a couple of times then lost the fight to keep from getting sick all over himself, stretcher, and floor. Once again, he fell unconscious.

Jeff ran his hand through his hair. The worry he felt for Virgil was ratcheting up along with the worry he felt for John. _"And didn't I hear Brains say something about Gordon having back spasms? I need a cup of coffee." _


	23. Chapter 23

**Disclaimer:** We didn't own them a few days ago and we can definitely say that we still don't.

**A/N:** Just a bit of a warning, there is some cussing in this update. Oh, and a fluff/tissue warning should be issued.

**Chapter 23**

John's patience snapped as soon as Virgil fell unconscious. "VIRGIL!" He was up before anyone realized that he had gotten up from his bed. Unsteadily, he pushed against Brains in his rush to get to his brother's side. He missed the look that Brains directed at Jeff and Scott. He may have missed the look but he felt the end result when he was grabbed from behind.

"You're getting in Brains' way, Johnny." Scott held tight to his struggling brother.

Even in his weakened state, he was fighting for all he was worth to get free. "Let me…go. Damn it… Scott, let…me go." Gasping for breath, his head fell back against Scott's shoulder. His anger mounted as his body betrayed him and he slumped in his brother's arms. "Gotta help Virg, Scotty. Kerrie said we had to help each other."

"The best way you can help Virg is to keep back and out of Brains' way. Let him have a chance to get our brother stabilized." Backing up, he half dragged and half carried his next youngest brother to his bed. "We need you to get better, Johnny, and you're not going to do it if you're pushing yourself." Lowering his mouth closer to John's ear, he whispered. "I need you to get better so that I have some help looking after Virg and Gordon."

Exhausted, John could only allow himself to be put to bed like a toddler. "Yeah, I got to get better." He shifted his gaze from Scott's face to the bed Virgil was lying on. As he watched, Brains placed a nasal canula and started an IV. His sole focus was on what was happening to his younger brother. He didn't notice the blanket that was pulled over his shaking form. Even when Scott checked to make sure he hadn't injured his hand any more, he only spared a precursory glance at his big brother.

Brains ran a bio scan of Virgil. "The b-bl-bleeding was b-br-brought on by the c-con-concussion and t-turbulence. As was the s-se-seizure."

"So, now what happens, Brains?" Scott asked before Jeff could.

"We l-let him r-r-rest but do n-neuro c-ch-checks." Pushing his glasses further up on his nose, he noted Virgil's chart. He was still writing when the infirmary doors slid open. With a sigh, he set the data chart down and pointed to a smaller exam table. "W-what did you d-do?

Gordon's trademark grin was more of a grimace. "Um, would you believe that I met a woman and we were having—"

"Gordon." The warning in his father's voice was easily heard.

Leaning more on Alan, he shuffled towards the exam table. "I think it was from the rescue, sitting too long on the flight to Canada, and the flight home with the added turbulence."

"He's been taking his pain meds every four hours since this morning. His last dose was about an hour ago." Alan helped his brother up on the exam table.

Gordon immediately laid back on the table and bent his legs at the knees. "Ahh, that feels much better." As he relaxed, he found it harder to keep his eyes open and was soon softly snoring.

"That didn't take long." Alan covered his next closest brother and best friend with a light blanket.

"It never does when he can finally relax." Jeff stared around the room, sighing. "Why is it that when one of you gets hurt or sick another feels the need to follow?" He focused his attention on John when he heard Scott's quiet orders for him to lie still.

"Remember what I said, Johnny, you have to get better. And the only way to do that is to lie down and let your body rid itself of the infection and fever." Scott's words seemed to go in one ear and out the other.

"I want to sit next to Virgil. Gotta look after my brother, Scott." Kicking the blanket aside, he tried to sit up only to find that Scott was holding him down.

Jeff suddenly appeared in his line of vision. "Son, what you need to do is rest. Brains will take care of Virgil. And Gordon and you." He settled down in the chair between John and Virgil's beds and silently willed his sons a speedy recovery. One son sick or injured was bad. Two was worse but three was seriously adding gray hairs at an alarming rate. He should have realized that John wasn't just going to lie still because he was told he needed rest.

He had just shifted his gaze towards Virgil when Scott snapped. "Damn it, John, what the hell was that for?" Rubbing his jaw, he glared at his younger brother.

Alan had been leaning against Gordon's bed but was instantly moving towards his two eldest brothers. He noticed the agitated gleam in the blond man's eyes and knew that all hell was about to break loose.

"I said that I want to sit next to Virgil. Not lie down like some damn dog." He took advantage Scott's supposed lack of focus to sit up again.

It took a moment to register that he was suddenly staring up at the ceiling. And that he was gasping for the breath that his brother had knocked out of him when he forcefully shoved him down again. "That was a stupid move, little brother."

"Scott, stand down." Jeff was on his feet and glaring down at his eldest blond son. "Obviously, you are unwilling to rest for your own well-being voluntarily. I will give you one more chance to just relax and let your body rest and recuperate."

"And I will tell you just once more that I want to sit next to my brother." He made to sit up again.

Alan shook his head. "When are you going to learn, Johnny, that when Dad uses that tone, you'd best listen?"

"John, if you get up from that bed, I will have Brains administer a mild sedative so that you rest." Jeff's quiet tone left no doubt that he'd do just that.

He didn't believe that his father would really have him sedated for getting up to sit next to his brother. "You aren't going to do that, Dad. I have the right to sit next to my brother if I want."

"And I have the right and obligation - no matter how old you are – to protect and keep you healthy. I'm not only your father but last I checked, I'm also your employer. I'm the employer and father who pays all of your medical costs."

Indignant, John sputtered. "You have no right to threaten me like that."

"I will not stand by and allow you to suffer a relapse because you're being stubborn." Crossing his arms, he watched and waited for John's reaction. _"Please, Son, just lie down. Don't force my hand over something so trivial."_

He glared at his dad and swung his legs over the side of the bed. "You can't keep me from getting up, Dad. I'm feeling better and I'm tired of being in bed all day."

Brains, Scott, and Alan had been watching the two Tracys in relative silence but each knew how this would turn out. Brains sighed, and then went to the stockroom to get a syringe and a mild sedative. "S-st-stubborn…no s-sense…pain."

Alan had followed the genius to the stockroom and heard his muttered words. "Which one of them are you talking about, Brains?"

Throwing a frustrated glance at the youngest Tracy, he gathered what he needed. "All of y-y-you. Each a-and e-ev-every one of y-y-you."

Shrugging his shoulders, Alan couldn't help the cheeky grin that spread across his face. "Well, I can't argue with that. But at least, we keep everyone from getting bored."

"T-true but do y-you think t-th-that it's too m-much to ask f-for only o-one of you in h-h-here at a t-time?"

"Probably but look at it this way, Brains, Gordon and Virgil are sleeping. It's only John that you have to deal with. As much as I hate to see him sedated, he'll calm down and sleep once you do." Rubbing the back of his neck, he turned and started for the infirmary.

Patting his friend's shoulder, Brains managed a small smile of his own. "Th-they're all g-g-going to be o-ok-okay, Alan."

"I hope so. I hope so." He walked to where Gordon lay and sat down in the plastic chair that was next to the exam table. Focusing on his sleeping brother, he tried not to listen to what was going on over by John.

Brains waited for Jeff's signal to sedate John. "John, I've tried to reason with you but you've chosen to be obstinate and show total disregard for your own health." With a slight nod at Scott and Brains, he frowned and wondered if he was doing the right thing.

John tensed when he saw Scott step towards him. "Scotty, please, don't do this. I only want to be near Virgil. I promise I'll just sit there and not try to go anywhere else." With his attention focused on Scott, he didn't notice Brains sneak up behind him. He might not have noticed Brains' approach but he felt his presence as the needle of the syringe was jabbed into his arm. Jerking his arm away, he winced. "No…no…no…I don't want to sleep." Unfortunately, he was too late. Brains had already injected him with the sedative.

Scott stayed close to his brother but didn't crowd him. He chose to let the sedative take effect. _"Damn it, Johnny, why couldn't you just relax?" _

Several minutes later, the sedative took effect and John slumped in the chair next to Virgil. The same chair he'd been trying to get to since Virgil slipped into an unconscious state. With his speech slurred, he blinked up at his dad and Scott. "I just…wanted to…sit here." Tears of frustration pooled in his eyes. "I…I needed to…be near him. He's…my brother…and I was…such a bastard…to him." It was getting harder and harder for him to keep his eyes open but he had to make them understand. "I hurt…him, Dad. I yelled at…you for…hurting him. I…I'm such a horrible…big…" His eyes closed and his head fell forward, resting on his chest.

Jeff and Scott got him back to his bed but it was Jeff who gently covered his second born with a blanket. "You're not a horrible person, Johnny. You're human and we all make mistakes. What you choose to do with those mistakes is what makes you a better or worse person. If you try to rectify those mistakes, you're a better person. Choose to leave them to fester, then they'll come back to bite you eventually. Trust me, Son, I know and I hope that I can make things somewhat right between me and my boys. You each mean so much to me."

Alan and Scott heard their father's words and surrounded him in a small group hug. "Dad, I don't know what all has been going on but you've been a great dad to us." Alan hugged his dad tighter.

Pensive and thoughtful, Scott measured his words. "If what John and you are referring to, then yeah, you weren't the best parent after Mom died." Shrugging his shoulders, he struggled with what he wanted to say. "But once you got your head out of your ass - no offense, Dad - then you were a really great dad to have."

"Geez, Scott, don't hold back or anything," Alan deadpanned.

Jeff chuckled. "Scott's right, Alan. I wasn't the best parent after your Mom died but John helped me see the errors of my ways. Many times."

Alan stared at his father, confused. "How did he do that, Dad?"

"I wasn't positive until yesterday when he admitted it. Your brother was worse than Gordon when he was younger. My SUV was in the garage at least once a week so that the tire stems could be replaced. And I lost count of how many toothbrushes I had to replace because he dipped them in vinegar or hand soap."

"But why did he do those things?" He had walked back over to Gordon and sat down in the chair.

Scott settled down on a chair next to John's bedside. He picked up his brother's hand and held it within his. "Johnny's temper wasn't as controlled as it is now. And once someone dared to hurt or slight one of us, his ingenuity had no limits." A sad smile tugged at his mouth. "But he didn't think what he felt or thought was important."

"How could he think that, Scott?" Alan bit his lip, worry for his brother clear in his eyes.

However, it was Jeff who answered. "I think he felt like the odd man out even before your Mom died. Virgil and Scott were always together. And then you and Gordon were extremely close. John didn't have anyone to buddy up with. He was always pretty quiet so that made it easier for him to withdraw more into himself. And spend a lot of time in his own company."

"But I thought he and Virgil were together a lot after Mom died. I don't remember too much but I seem to recall them together after…" Swallowing nervously, he realized just when he saw them together. "They were always holed up in Virgil's room after you didn't show for a concert or recital that Virgil was in."

Instead of denying what Alan said, Jeff owned up to his past mistakes. "I'm not proud of what I did to Virgil. Nor will I make any more excuses for my past behavior. All I can do is hope that you and your brothers will forgive me. I have a lot to make up for and a lot of wrongs to try and set right."

Unsure of what to say, Scott and Alan remained quiet. They along with Jeff were soon lost in their own thoughts and one by one, they fell asleep where they sat. Alan fell asleep with his head resting next to Gordon's. Scott fell asleep holding John's hand. Jeff finally fell asleep with his hand resting on Virgil's chest. Brains checked in on the injured Tracys and dimmed the lights for the family. "S-sl-sleep well."


	24. Chapter 24

**Disclaimer: **We still don't own them.

**A/N:** Okay, standard warning...cussing in this update as well as some brotherly fluff. The story is mostly italicized because John and Virgil are communicating via a shared dream brought on by the bond that they share. If you like the update, please review. If you'd like to offer some suggestions, please do. sam1 and Mystikstorm.

**Chapter 24 **

"_Not again, damn it." Rubbing his arms, he tried to warm himself. A faint glow off to the right of where he stood managed to break through the murkiness. He vaguely remembered the first few times he was here. The air had been thick as had the shadows. Then he had been afraid but now he somehow knew that he wasn't in any danger. The shadows had mostly been vanquished when he'd offered himself to save his brother. Intuitively, he understood that he was here to banish the remaining shadows before they could leech onto him again. _

_Stumbling over the uneven terrain, he just avoided falling flat on his face when a strong hand reached out to steady him. "Easy there, brother mine, I think we've gotten banged up enough lately." _

_Grasping his brother's shoulder with one hand, he drank in the sight of his pale-looking brother. Unable to restrain himself, he reached out and touched Virgil's face. "You're okay? You haven't…haven't left me?" _

_Virgil's gaze softened with compassion. He knew his brother's fear of being left behind. He may have forgotten a lot of the conversations they'd had over the years but he never forgot those special talks. The ones that almost always happened after their dad had forgotten or been too busy to attend one of the young pianist's concerts. Or the ones that they had after John had been disciplined because he'd dared to stand up to their dad in Virgil's defense. _

"_No, I haven't left you. I'm not good right now but I will be." He motioned over his shoulder. "Kerrie has assured me that we're both going to be okay. Right, Kerrie?" _

_The source of the glow John had seen just moments before seemed to glide across the murky landscape. The glow came to a gradual stop next to him. That's when he could discern the figure of a petite young woman. "Kerrie." He'd recognize the clear blue eyes that sparkled with warmth and just a bit of cheekiness anywhere. They were the same eyes that had haunted his and Virgil's dreams for several months. Mostly Virgil's as he had been holding the young woman's hand as her life ended with a faint sigh and a soft smile on her face. _

_He wasn't quite prepared when he felt her cool, feathery touch when she quickly hugged him. "I didn't get to do that after the rescue. Nor did I get to thank you for trying to save me. I've been given a chance to thank you and Virgil now for giving me something many others are denied. You gave me comfort and strength to face my own demise." _

_When he would think about this dream after he woke, he would never be quite sure if he really felt a soft kiss brushing his cheek. Or if he really saw the young woman brush another soft kiss on Virgil's cheek. _

"_Kerrie, why are we here again?" Virgil's question told John that he wasn't the only one who was uncertain as to why they were back in this dark and frigid world. He was certain that his younger brother was – by the tone of his voice – quite nervous about being here. _

_Kerrie must have picked up on their uneasiness because as soon as she gently laid a hand on each of the brothers, they were on a white sand beach that was bathed in moonlight. The sudden warmth was most welcomed. "We're back on Tracy Island." Virgil's words were tinged with awe. "How did you do that, Kerrie?" _

_She shrugged her thin shoulders. "This is all a dream and you and John are in control. Home is the place that each of you long to be. At home and with your family." _

_John glanced at his little brother. "Home? I didn't think I'd make it back here. I thought the shadows were going to keep me from coming home. From being with my family again." Swallowing hard, John finally admitted to the brother he felt closest to and to himself, his biggest fear. "I was afraid that I would die alone and that it wouldn't matter to anyone." He lowered his head in an attempt to hide the tears that pooled in his eyes. _

_With his head lowered, he didn't see but he felt strong, warm arms pull him into a brotherly hug. "It would have mattered to us, Johnny." He gently lifted his brother's face up so that he could see his brother's clear blue eyes. Immediately, he saw the pain, uncertainty, and just the barest flicker of hope. "It would have mattered to me because you mean a lot to me. I know that we don't get a lot of time together but that doesn't mean that you're not important to me." Touching his forehead against his brother's, he continued, "You were there for me when we were growing up. And you've been here for me each and every time I've needed you, Johnny. I never had to ask because it was like you always knew." _

_John noticed the twinkle in his brother's burnt honey brown eyes when he continued to speak. "I know about all the times you took the stems out of the tires. Thanks for standing up for me in what can only be termed as delinquent kind of way. You're so lucky Dad didn't catch you more often." _

"_It wasn't luck, Virg. It was skill, pure and simple," John retorted. The grin on his face softened his words. The brothers stepped back from one another and simultaneously looked over at Kerrie. _

_Her smile radiated her happiness that the brothers, who she had been chosen to watch over, were taking the necessary steps to heal their wounded souls. She knew the heartache that each man had felt since their mother's death. _

_She herself had known such heartache after her own father's death. It had been a true blessing that she'd had her older siblings to lean on. Her big sister would often act as a buffer when their brothers became too over-protective. Even when her eldest brother went into smother mode whenever she'd had the sniffles or had been injured. She wouldn't have survived had it not been for the hugs from her second eldest brother. And certainly, she'd have gone mad if she hadn't been able to talk to the brother she was closest to. She had always been able to count on her middle brother and the youngest brother to make her laugh. The pranks those two came up with were legendary in their home. After her death, she'd still managed to watch over them. She offered what comfort she could to each of them. She only wished that it wasn't her death that had caused them so much grief. _

"_Kerrie?" Virgil's sensitive nature and artistic eye saw the flash of pain and sadness in her eyes as she focused on them again. _

_Whatever she'd been thinking, she shook it off. Somewhat as a hint of sadness lurked behind the façade she tried to hide behind. "Sorry, what did you say?" _

"_We just wanted to know why we're here," John said, sitting down on the sand. He, too, had noticed the sadness in her eyes. _

"_You're here so that you and Virgil can talk without any interruptions. You know how your family can be when one of you is ill." _

_Virgil chuckled which made John smile. "They all go into their own version of smother hen mode." He sat down and patted the spot between him and John. "Have a seat, Kerrie." _

_Ever the scientific and logical one, John directed his question at Kerrie. "How do I know that Virgil is sharing in this dream? This can all be my imagination." _

_Kerrie expected the question and had a few questions of her own. "How often have you known when something was wrong with Virgil? Or he's known something is wrong with you? Can you explain how you each seem to know what the other is thinking or feeling at times?" _

_His curiosity piqued, Virgil joined in the conversation. "Are you saying that John and I have some sort of psychic bond?" It wasn't such a far-fetched thought as he and Scott often knew what the other was thinking. That bond that they shared had saved each of them more than once during rescues. Even Gordon and Alan seemed to have some sort of bond like their older brothers. _

_John contemplated the very idea that maybe he had a closer bond to his brother than he realized. "This psychic bond…Would it be why I seemed to know when something happened to Virgil during the rescue a few days ago? And how I always seemed to know when he was upset when we were kids?" _

_She was already nodding her head in agreement before he'd finished his questions. To some people the idea of a psychic bond of any sort was pure imagination. Kerrie didn't fall in that category as she and the second youngest brother in her family had shared a psychic bond. _

_Standing up, she looked down at the two men. "I'm going to give you some privacy so that you can talk. If you need me, I'll just be walking along the surf." The brothers watched as she seemed to glide along the surf. _

_John suddenly felt nervous and self-conscious. He'd spent so many years hiding his feelings and thoughts from his family that he wasn't sure he could talk openly to his brother. Add the guilt he felt for snapping at Virgil when he'd only been trying to figure out what was wrong with John. _

_Casting a sidelong glance at his next eldest brother, Virgil took pity on him. "I don't think I ever thanked you for all the times you sat with me after Dad was unable to attend one of my piano concerts or the art showings that our schools organized and held." _

_Ducking his head, John could feel the blush creeping up his neck and face. "It's not necessary, Virg. I was just looking after my little brother." _

"_Bullshit, John. I'm quite familiar with the Tracy way and I know you went beyond the pact that you and Scott started." Bumping his brother's shoulder with his own, he fell silent. _

_John picked up a handful of sand and let it trickle out again. "Even before Mom died, I always felt like the odd one. You and Scott got along so well. And then Gordon and Alan have always been really close. I didn't have anyone to buddy up with like each of you did. I tried to just be content with my books and my own company but then I'd see you lot riding bikes, playing ball, or whatever and then I'd feel even more alone." Blinking his eyes, he tried to keep the tears that threatened at bay. "Then when Mom died and Dad started ignoring you…It pissed me off. I'd sit outside your bedroom door and I could hear your muffled crying. It was one thing for him to forget his promises to me but to hurt one of my brothers was inexcusable." _

_Virgil suddenly remembered something from their childhood. "You were the one who would come in after I'd cried myself to sleep and tuck me in. You'd sit on the floor next to my bed and sing that lullaby Mom used to sing to us." _

_John's face reddened more as he nodded his head. "You always seemed to sleep better and I guess I was trying to be less alone." _

"_You know that you've never been alone, right? Even when you felt that you were, you had a shadow or two looking after you." _

"_What?" John stared at his brother, confused. _

_Virgil's smile lit up his face. "All those times you'd go off on your own? One of us would always follow you. How do you think we found you so easily? Gordon and Alan loved playing "Find John's newest hiding place"." _

"_I…I mattered that much to you guys?" _

_Bumping shoulders with his brother again, Virgil shook his head. "Yes, you mattered that much to us. I guess it's easy for you to feel lost in the shuffle especially given Scott, Gordon, and Alan's personalities. But you're our brother and whether you realized it or not, we were looking after you. Hell, we're still looking after you just as much as you look after us." He pulled his brother into a one armed hug. "Just for the record, Johnny, if I ever find out you think we mean more than you do, I will hold you down and let our brothers tickle torture you. Then, I'll kick your ass for daring to think that what you think and feel is less important." _

_John opened and closed his mouth several times before he could speak. "How…How did you know that I ever thought that?" _

_Virgil simply smiled then dropped a little nugget of information. "You talk in your sleep." Chuckling at his brother's shocked expression, he continued. "You're not the only one who sometimes gets comfort from being near a brother." _

"_Virgil, I'm…I'm sorry for being such a bastard and yelling at you. I know I hurt your feelings and I wish I could take back those horrible words." _

"_Yeah, you hurt me. I was only trying to figure out what had brought on the fever and delirium. But I also know that you weren't in your normal frame of mind." _

"_That is no excuse. I should never have lashed out at you like that. Nobody deserves that especially you." Picking at his t-shirt, John fidgeted for a moment. "I heard what you said about Dad ignoring you. I would have traded places with you if I could to spare you that pain." He sighed then stared out over the ocean. "Dad and I had a little talk and I learned some things that I didn't know or forgot." _

"_Such as?" _

"_That night Dad forgot to read to me? He came downstairs after I fell asleep and I guess he carried me upstairs and tucked me in because I woke up in bed that next morning. I'm pretty sure that you're next up on his list to talk to." _

_Virgil got to his feet and walked into the water until it just lapped over his feet. "I had a feeling that he might want to talk but I don't know if I really want to. I…I don't know if I can deal with him rejecting me again." _

_John got to his feet and joined his brother. "I don't think he's going to reject you, Virgil. I get the feeling he's trying to set things right. The past can't be undone but if we can forgive one another for screwing up, then maybe our family will be even closer." This time he pulled his brother in a one armed hug. "And if he does, then we'll put dye in his shampoo and dip his toothbrush in vinegar or hand soap." _

_In a rare display of affection, Virgil leaned against his brother. "I think we've been worried about the wrong brother. You're worse than Gordy." _

_Chuckling, John shook his head. "Nope, Gordy is in a league all his own." _

"_Johnny, I'm ready to wake up and get back to living." _

"_Me, too, little brother. I'm tired of keeping to myself. I want to live and enjoy our family. It's time to let the past go and focus on the here and now." _

"_That is why I brought you here." Kerrie suddenly appeared in front of them. "Both of you needed to understand just where you fit in within your family and with each other. Then and now." _

_"What about you, Kerrie? What happens to you now?" Virgil asked._

_Smiling softly at the two men, she shrugged. "I will continue to watch over you as I've been doing. When it's time for you to return home, I'll be one of the ones to guide you." She hugged them once more. "I won't say goodbye because we will meet again." Her eyes sparkled with impish playfulness. "More than once given your line of work." Her soft laughter echoed around them as she faded from view._

The beach faded from view and was replaced with the sterile white tiles of the infirmary. Blinking away the last remnants of his dream, he took stock of the various aches and pains he felt. _"Head, hurts like hell. Something in my nose..."_ Moving his hand towards his face, he felt a slight tug. He glanced down and noticed the IV tubing running from his hand. His gaze followed the tubing up to the bag of fluids hanging from an IV pole. He continued taking stock of his injuries. _"Neck, chest, and abdomen, burns range from annoying to painful."_ It was when he assessed the pain from the burns, that he realized that he could feel something warm and comforting on his chest. He shifted his gaze and noticed for the first time that his dad was right next to him, sleeping with his hand resting on Virgil's chest.

A slight rustling noise drew his attention to the bed next to his. As he watched, John opened his eyes then promptly closed them again. He opened them again a few moments later and caught sight of a dark head of hair lying next to him. But it wasn't the sight of his older brother that choked him up a bit. It was the lightly clasped hand holding his that managed to do that. A sense of belonging trickled through him. Shifting his gaze, his eyes widened in surprise to see his dad sleeping with his hand on Virgil's chest. A gentle smile tugged at his mouth when he noticed Alan sleeping with his head right against Gordon's.

"Kerrie was right, wasn't she?" Virgil's soft words barely reached John's ears.

Words failed the eldest blond-haired brother so he merely nodded. Fluency in multiple languages had nothing on the message that was conveyed within the infirmary on Tracy Island. Sometimes, actions speak louder than words.


	25. Chapter 25

**Disclaimer: **It's been our sad luck that we never gained ownership of the TBs, IR, or the Tracys during the time we've been writing this story.

**A/N:** Okay, this one is a bit long. First, **Mystikstorm**, thank you so much for helping me finish this story. And for dealing with me when I was being stubborn or emotional. Love ya! **Criminally Charmed**, thank you for all your wonderful support and for letting us use Rocket Man in this update. Love ya! **Angel-Sue76**, thank you for all your support and chats. Never forget that she's watching over us. Love ya! **Loopstagirl, Math Girl, Vulcangirl1983, Silver Bee, Kate Maxwell**, and **diff-r-ent-1**, huge thanks to each of you for your continued support in reading and reviewing this story. To everyone else who read the story, added it to your alert or favorite list, if you liked it, please review and thanks for reading.

**Chapter 25**

He tried to get a few more moments of sleep but something niggled at him until he awakened a bit more. The whispered question he heard made no sense to him. _"When are my boys going to remember to knock on my bedroom door before coming in? _He felt his hand rise and fall in a rhythmic pattern. A pattern that hadn't been like the one he felt last night as he placed his hand on Virgil's chest.

Virgil glanced down at his father's hand when he felt it twitch. A small grin tugged at the corners of his mouth when Jeff momentarily grasped Virgil's t-shirt. It was as if he was reassuring himself that his son was safe and within his reach.

Seeing his brother's grin, John whispered, "What?"

"He's waking up, I think."

John caught the sudden look of what appeared to be fear or panic on his brother's face. He hurriedly whispered some last moment advice. "Calm down. Just let him say what he's gotta say. I'm right here if you need me."

Jeff sat up and looked at Virgil. "Virgil?"

Glancing at his eldest blond brother, Virgil took a calming breath. He refocused his attention on his father. "Yeah, Dad?"

Jeff looked over at John then back at Virgil. "Who were you talking to?"

John had closed his eyes before Jeff had looked over at him. Pulling Scott's hand closer to his chest, he slowly drifted back to sleep. For his part, Scott merely tightened his grasp on his brother's hand.

"Um, I was talking to myself, Dad. I didn't want to wake anyone." Shifting awkwardly, he tried to get comfortable as well as work off a little of the nervous energy that was building up.

Worried that Virgil might be running a fever and hallucinating like John had, he moved his hand up to feel his son's forehead. "How are you feeling? You don't feel like you're running a fever. Maybe I should get Brains…oh hell; I can take your temperature myself." He stood up and strode over to the cabinet that held the thermometer. Grabbing it, he turned back to see a fleeting smile cross his son's face. "What?"

"Dad, I don't think I'm running a fever. I just spent…How many days was I in the hospital?"

Still holding the thermometer, he walked back to Virgil's bedside. "You were there for two days before Scott managed to get the doctor to release you into our care." He glanced at the thermometer in his hand then raised his gaze to meet his son's. "Humor me, will you?"

He shrugged his shoulders half-heartedly. "Go ahead." He held himself still when the cool tip of the aural thermometer touched his ear. Almost instantaneously, the device beeped. "Well?"

Jeff tossed the probe cover into the wastebasket and set the thermometer down on the table next to Virgil's bed. "99.0." He played with the cup on the table for a few moments. He was beginning to feel nervous like he had when he wanted to have that talk with John. _"What is it about my boys that make me so nervous just to talk to them?"_

The Tracy patriarch wasn't the only one experiencing a case of nerves. Virgil was fighting the impulse to jump out of his bed and run to…Well, he wouldn't care where as long as it wasn't here. Even having John in the room with him wasn't calming him down. Casting a glance at his elder brother, he frowned. _"He's gone to sleep. I can't believe he's fallen asleep again. So much for him being right there if I needed him. I wonder if I could hit him with the thermometer before Dad could stop me." _With his thoughts focused within, he didn't realize that his father was speaking to him.

"Virgil?" Placing a hand on his son's shoulder, he lightly shook him. "Son, are you okay?"

Having felt the slight shake, Virgil startled just a bit. "I'm sorry." He shifted his gaze back to his father after frowning at his brother once more. "Oh, yeah, I'm fine." He noticed his father's fidgeting and somehow realized that the conversation John had warned him about was drawing closer. Hoping to forestall the inevitable, he forced himself to yawn. "Just a little tired."

Normally, Jeff could read his sons' expressions. _"I thought I could but I guess John has put that theory to rest. I'm sure that they're better at hiding what they really think or feel when it comes to their emotions. Lucy, I didn't do too great a job with teaching them to be open with how they feel. They watched me hide what I truly felt for so long that they thought that was the way to handle their emotions."_

"_You did hide for so long, Jeff, but the time for hiding is over. Talk to him now before the others wake." _

The soft scent of lilacs tickled at his nose just as he felt a slight pressure on his shoulder. _"Okay, Lucy, okay. I'll talk to him." _

Virgil glanced up at his dad and was surprised to see the small smile playing on his lips. "Dad?"

"Yes, Virgil?"

"Are you okay? You seemed a bit…A bit distracted, I guess."

"I'm fine. I know that you're tired but I really would like to continue the conversation that we started just before the rescue. "

"Dad, I'm really not feeling up to this. Can we talk another day?"

"_Oh, no, you don't, Virgil. John and I have both reassured you that everything is going to work out. Now, you listen to what you're dad has to say whilst he's still around to say it. If you don't do it now, then everything you wanted to say to him or even hear him say to you will be lost." To give her charge comfort, she placed her hand over his heart. _

Hesitant yet well aware that he needed to talk with his son, Jeff pressed on. "I know that you're still recovering from your injuries and such but I don't want to put this off any longer." He sat down and took a deep breath. "Virgil, I owe you an apology but I know that no words that I say now can ever change the pain that I put you through. I wasn't the father to you that I was to your brothers. Even then, I wasn't much of a father to them either after your mother died. I failed each of my sons in so many ways but it was you who suffered the worst." Steeling himself, he raised his gaze to look at his middle son. "A parent should never do what I did to you. I blatantly ignored you and your talents because I was too weak to face what so reminded me of your mother."

Virgil stared at his father for a moment before he closed his eyes. The pain of his father's rejection and denial flared within his heart. "I only wanted you to love me because I am your son." Pain gave way to anger and he railed against his father. "I was seven-years-old and you turned away from me. Every time I tried to reach out to you, you walked away from me." He pushed himself to a sitting position. "Grandma tried to reassure me that once you were finished grieving for Mom that you'd be the dad I'd always known."

Several tears coursed their way down his face. "But you didn't. You tried to take everything from me. Had it not been for Grandma allowing me to play the piano whilst you were at work or out-of-town, I'd have lost one of two things that Mom taught me. One of two things that gave me a sense of peace." Impatiently, he wiped at the tears that he couldn't hold back. "Scotty and John gave me the encouragement to continue with my artwork. It was my brothers who hugged me when you turned from me. They were the ones who attended all the recitals and concerts I performed in. They did it because you couldn't be bothered. They did it because it didn't matter to them that I had the same hair color as Mom. It didn't matter that I resembled Mom the most. They did it because they weren't afraid or selfish enough to pretend that I didn't exist.

Do you know how much it hurt me every time you failed to show at something I was good at? You always made time to go to any sporting events that they were involved in but I wasn't worth the trouble."

His anger deflated as suddenly as it had risen and he fell back against his pillow. "Why didn't you love me like Scotty, Johnny, Gordy, and Allie? What did I do?" His words sounding much like those of the lost little seven-year-old boy he had been. Struggling to stifle the sobs that threatened to break free, he turned his face against his pillow. Away from his father.

Scott woke to the sound of his brother crying but before he could do anything, John tightened his hold on Scott's hand. "Don't, Scotty, they need this. For Virgil's sake close your eyes and pretend to be asleep."

On the other side of the room, Gordon also woke to the sound of Virgil crying. He looked over at his brother, ready to kick someone's ass for making his big brother cry. Keeping his head on the bed, Alan whispered, "If Scott hasn't moved then you don't need to either. This is between Dad and Virgil." Somehow, neither Virgil nor Jeff heard John or Alan's whispered words. The four brothers continued to pretend that they were sleeping.

Virgil's softly spoken words pierced his father's heart more than the angry tirade did. It was the pain in his son's voice that finally made him do something that he should have done years ago. Mindful of his son's injuries, Jeff crawled next to his son. Virgil tensed beside him but Jeff didn't hesitate to pull his son against him, hugging him tight.

Tears trailed down his face as he held his son. "I do love you, Virgil. You are my son and I love you more than I can ever put into words." He kissed the side of Virgil's head. "You did nothing wrong, Son. I was wrong in the way I treated you. I have no excuse for what I did except that I was so filled with grief that I withdrew into myself." Swallowing hard, he finally said what he had to. "I was selfish, Virgil. It seemed to be easier to ignore you than to hold you when you needed me." The tears fell faster and his vision blurred. "But it wasn't. I saw the pain in your eyes and yet I couldn't make myself hold you because…Because I was afraid that you would reject me as I had done you.

I was always proud of you, Son. Even if I couldn't seem to show you how proud you made me. I may not have been able to make myself show for your recitals and such but I always saw them. Scott often recorded them for me to watch. I'd take them with me when I had to go away on business trips. And now, hearing you play the piano calms me. I try to find any excuse I can to sit in the lounge and just listen to you play." Tilting his head back just a bit, he looked into his son's eyes. "Did you know that you get that same intense expression on your face that your mother had whenever she was trying to compose her own music? You even cock your head to the side just as she did whenever the music flowed through her."

"You watched my recitals?"

"Every one of them. And I'll tell you something else. Your mother and I saw _Cats_ on Broadway before you boys were born. It was good but I preferred the production that I saw in Kansas."

Disbelief showed in his eyes as he struggled with the sudden knowledge that maybe he was just as important to his father as his brothers were. "You…You came to the play? But I never saw you. I looked for you but I didn't see you."

"I was determined to see you perform and I just happened to have finished with my meeting early. I sat away from the family because I got there a bit too late."

"But John…Oh, man…"

Jeff couldn't help but chuckle at his son's incomplete comment. "Yes, my SUV ended up in the garage again. Your brother was hell on that SUV, my wallet, toothbrush, and shampoo. It made me angry but looking back I can understand why he did it."

"You do?"

"He was getting back at me because I dared to hurt you. John is fiercely protective of our family but more so when it comes to you."

Smiling softly, Virgil glanced over at his next eldest brother. "Yeah, he is. I'm a pretty lucky guy to have Scott, John, Gordon, and Alan for brothers. Even if they do sometimes drive me mad." His brother's words echoed in his mind and he suddenly realized that he wasn't tense any longer. In fact, he felt as if a huge weight had been lifted from his shoulders and he knew that it had everything to do with finally talking to his dad. He hugged his dad, surprising the older man. "I love you, Dad. And thanks for talking with me."

Relief flooded through Jeff as he hugged his son back. "I love you, too, Virgil. Thank you for listening to me and not pulling away. I wasn't the best role model for you and your brothers when it came to dealing with emotions."

"No, you weren't but then again, you did have your head up your ass for a few years there."

Several snorts of laughter sounded from either side of Virgil's bed. "Geez, it's a wonder Dad bothers coming back from business trips with Virgil and Scott telling him that he' had his head up his ass." Alan looked around at his brothers, shaking his head.

"I thought you were all asleep," Jeff said.

Just a little embarrassed, Virgil smiled at his brothers and dad. "I knew they've been awake for a while now. I heard the change in each of their breathing patterns." The four brothers converged on their middle brother's bed.

Out in the hallway, Kyrano smiled at the scene before him. "Where the father leads, the sons will follow. For each is strong on his own but almost indestructible as a family."

* * *

"Dad, we want to go outside." Virgil stared out the window, sulking. He and John had been asking for the last twenty-four hours to be released from the infirmary. They'd begged, pleaded, sulked, and whined to not only Jeff but also Brains, Scott, Alan, and Gordon. And each time they were told no.

Sighing, Jeff counted to ten. "Virgil, for the last time, you may not leave the infirmary until Brains has released you." He set down Virgil's lunch tray that Kyrano had prepared whilst Scott set John's down. "Eat your lunch and maybe Brains will release you this afternoon." He and Scott left the infirmary so that they could eat their lunch in the dining room with Gordon and Alan.

John picked at his food for a moment before looking over at Virgil. "I say we go walksies. I'm tired of being cooped up in here. Brains told me that the infection is gone as is the fever…for the most part."

"Walksies, eh?" Throwing back the blanket over his legs, Virgil swung his legs over the side of the bed and stood up. "Let's go."

The two brothers stole through the house, avoiding detection. The sunlight beckoned them as they skirted the pool deck beneath the canopy of fronds. The warmth of the tropical island touched their very souls but John still glanced around nervously. "Do you think they're really gone?"

Momentarily confused, Virgil stared at his brother. Then he realized that John was talking about the shadows. The very thing that had started the Tracy family on the road to healing. Virgil stopped walking and looked at his brother. "Kerrie said they were."

"Virg, do you think what we do is worth it?"

Gazing out over the ocean, Virgil nodded. "Yeah, I do. We won't always save everyone but the ones we do have another chance at life. So, yeah, I think what we do is worth the sacrifice."

Thoughtful, John mimicked his brother and gazed out over the calm sea. He slightly nodded his head. "Maybe we are doing more good than I realized."

The brothers jumped when they heard their names being called. "Damn, they know we left the infirmary." Both looked towards the path leading down from the pool decks and saw Jeff, Scott, Gordon, and Alan.

Throwing their hands up in mock surrender, they walked towards their father and brothers. None of the Tracy men noticed anything out of the ordinary.

Further down the beach, two shimmering figures watched the two men. "They are such good-hearted men but..."

"But they're as stubborn as their father." The older of them said. "Each of my boys is...All of them." They watched as John and Virgil were surrounded by their family. "Take care of each other." A sad smile graced not only Lucy's face but Kerrie's as well. "I love you, Rocket Man, Flyboy, Stargazer, Mozart, Fish, and Speed Demon." Fading from view, they knew that they would be needed again. In the mean time, they would look after the ones they loved.

* * *

**A/N:** This moment is bittersweet but after a year, we have finished this story. I only wish that Lissysue could have seen it. It is for her that I continued the story even when my emotions were all over the place. I was told that one of the things that Lissy had been sad about was not finishing her stories. Well, Lissy – Baby Sis – one of your stories was completed. I miss you. Sam1


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